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The Overcoming Believer

Holding on in difficult times [2]

I’m late 🙈 I AM SORRY but since we all love each other here, we forgive each other, don’t we? 😅 LOL! (Here on my knees l ask for forgiveness) Now, have you guys heard about WPW Johannesburg? Ehhhh! It’s happening this Saturday and you do not want to miss it. Click the link below for all the details, I really hope to see you there!

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Alright, now let’s get into today’s blog.

We often say things like “hold on,” “keep pushing,” or “keep going” as if those things are easy to do. But in reality, they can be incredibly hard especially in seasons where it feels like God is silent or when everything around us seems to be falling apart. Some people genuinely don’t know what to do during those times. And while encouragement is helpful, it’s fair to ask: what are the practical ways we can actually hold on? Are there steps that truly work? Or is it just trial and error? The truth is, not everything works for everyone it’s rarely a one-size-fits-all kind of journey.

The last thing anyone wants is to spend time and energy on things that don’t lead to real peace, healing, or hope. Things that don’t work. Girls would definitely understand this betterlike when you try a new face or hair product that promised visible results in two weeks. You wait, you hope, and after two weeks… nothing. So you add a “grace period” week, thinking maybe … But still, nothing has changed! Like, how dare you waste my time and my money? I still have pimples. My hairline is still receding. Or maybe it’s like a talking stage with someone you’re investing your energy, and suddenly it hits you: why are you wasting my time? Once there’s a clear yes or no, save yourself time. Actually, go and buy A Thing Called Time .

What does holding on really look like when your grip is weak and your faith feels fragile? Is sleeping it through okay? Can you pour yourself some Johnie Walker and just drink up? Or do you climb a mountain and wait on God from there? What exactly can be done when life feels heavy and confusing? Maybe you’re thinking, should I see a counsellor? (By the way, if you need counselling, book with me today 😉). There are so many lists, different things people claim can help us stay afloat, whether they’re proven or not. Social media is overflowing with advice and “coping hacks.” Some even say, just scroll through your phone and watch reels, it’ll make you feel better. But does it really help? Is it actually effective?

The first proven method of holding on is prayer. Scripture says, “Man ought always to pray and not to faint” (Luke 18:1). Prayer isn’t just a last resort , it’s a lifeline. Look at David in the Psalms whether he was rejoicing or completely undone, he kept praying. He encouraged himself in the Lord, he worshipped, he cried out, he poured out his heart but he never disconnected from God. Even when death felt near and enemies were closing in, he stayed plugged into the One who sustains.

But today, many people disconnect from God in hard times and instead, they connect to weed, distractions, or a few friends who honestly don’t know how to help either. David is a good example because his prayers are raw, emotional, relatable, he never stopped seeking God. And then there’s Jesus. Just before facing the most brutal death imaginable, He prayed. He was in deep anguish, but He still prayed. Prayer is a proven strategy. It’s not outdated, it’s not religious performance , it’s honestly another way of survival. You stay afloat by praying. People of God, this is not optional. It’s important.

David sang. Maybe to make this a bit more relatable how many of us have had our hearts broken at some point in life? Don’t even act like you’ve never. I know you! Say it with me, all of us. Now in those moments, how many of us turned to music? I definitely did. Some were deep in those sad songs. Some of you listened to gospel, bless your soul. Even after God clearly told you, “This is not your spouse,” you kept pushing… and when it finally fell apart, your way out was music. Some of you went the Westlife route, that’s me. Others? You turned to Maskandi or Amapiano. And if you chose those heavy instruments for comfort… your heartbreak was on levels. A serious one!

So David had a strategy, he sang. The man knew how to pour out his soul in worship. Scripture tells us to “sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody in your hearts to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19). There’s power in singing. There’s healing in worship. So yes burst out in song. Find a Dunsin Oyekan track, connect your AirPods, and worship. You’ll feel lighter. You’ll feel better. And yes, you can do it daily. Don’t wait for Sunday, sing your way through the valley.

Shall I share the last one for today before we continue tomorrow? Dancing. We’re in the middle of the Hallelujah Challenge, and I can’t even imagine how many people this has lifted. People who were drowning in depression got up and danced. You’re not depressed you just haven’t danced for Jesus yet! I know it sounds like a paradox, because how can you tell someone to dance when they’re going through a difficult time? We usually think dancing is for parties or happy moments, right? Wrong. We dance always. We praise always.

You may not feel like dancing, but play some music, start moving, and watch how your joy begins to rise again. It’s not about whether you can breakdance or two-step it’s about reconnecting with joy through praise. Dancing is not just movement; it’s a declaration that God is still good, even here, even now. When l dance at HC? Eh!!! You will think maybe l will break my bones. Kai! I can dance shame l don’t care what you think 😂

I have more strategies to share with you, but for today, let’s focus on these ones. You know I love and celebrate you greatly! 💛 See you tomorrow!!

Categories
The Overcoming Believer

Holding on in difficult times

My people, I want to say a big thank you for all the beautiful birthday messages you sent. I received such lovely words some of you even called and I’m truly grateful. Thank you for seeing me, for loving me, and for showing me such kindness.

I’m much aware that finding a godly and genuine community isn’t easy. I’ve met people who have no real friends not because they don’t want to, but because they’ve struggled to find authentic connections. So I don’t take this community for granted. I’m thankful for every one of you. May my God bless you richly. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.

This morning, I woke up to a message from one of my dads (yep I’m a daddy’s girl! And yes, God has blessed me with incredible father figures who wouldn’t hesitate to handle anyone trying to hurt me 😅).He asked, “What about the topic of holding on through difficult times and not losing yourself, can you write something on that?” It’s a powerful question because it’s something we can all relate to. We’ve all faced difficult seasons. In some of them, we held on. We stayed grounded. We didn’t let the pain break us. But in others, we gave into fear, to anxiety, to pressure. And that’s real life.

I’ve always been bubbly I laugh a lot and love joking around but what many didn’t see was that sometimes, right in the middle of those laughs, I was breaking down. There were moments I was holding back tears while ministering because my assignment, in that moment, mattered more than my pain.

I remember crying, then picking up a call from someone needing advice, and changing my voice to sound cheerful just so their day could be lighter, even while mine felt heavy. So many times, I dressed well, showed up, and smiled, all while whispering, “God, please just help me get through this day. Don’t let me fall apart l can feel the sting in my heart.” And I know I’m not the only one; you’ve likely been there too. We’ve all had silent battles hidden behind strong faces but somehow, grace carried us.

The truth is, holding on doesn’t always look heroic. Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed when everything in you wants to disappear. Sometimes it’s whispering a prayer when you don’t even have the strength to believe it’ll be answered. But that, too, is strength. That, too, is faith. Sometimes it’s opening up to someone, “Hey, I’m not feeling too good today. Please pray for me.” Or being in your own space, catching a breath or two, or five or twenty.

How do you hold on and not lose yourself? Why should I keep praying when I’ve asked for something for a whole year and seen no results? Honestly, I laughed while typing that because that’s so me. The days when the pressure to make money gets heavier, it’s easy to see why so many start to compromise their faith. “God is taking too long, let me get five boyfriends,” or “I’m tired of waiting, let me go get some muti.” Some say, “Though You slay me, Lord, even with tears in my eyes, I still love You.” That takes another level of strength , the kind that keeps you rooted in God, keeps your integrity intact, and helps you remain you in a world that constantly invites you to trade your identity for relief.

The world says, “You’re going through a lot, it’s okay to drink, smoke, take something, sleep with someone just escape the pain.” But that kind of escape often costs more than it gives. In those moments, be careful because the price of compromise is usually your peace, your purpose, and parts of yourself you may never get back. Holding on might be hard, but losing yourself is harder to recover from.

Why should we hold on? What exactly are we holding on for? These may sound like simple or even petty questions, but failing to answer them has led many into drug abuse, anxiety, and even suicide. As a man, when you feel the pressure to provide for yourself and your family but nothing is working out it’s hard. So again, why hold on? Because in holding on, you give God room to perform. As a young woman waiting on God for a godly kingdom spouse why hold on? Because in the waiting, you create space for God to move. Pain or not, we remain Christians. Whether you marry today or next year, whether the job comes now or later, your faith must remain unshaken.

This journey is not conditional. We were not saved to be situational believers. “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back!” you sang and danced to that. But there’s a reality in those lyrics. A time comes when that declaration is tested when you must prove that it wasn’t just a catchy song, but a life you’re committed to living. Don’t you know? Jesus held on too. He could have walked away, but for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross. So hold on. We’ll continue tomorrow with some practical ways to hold on without losing yourself. But before I go, I leave you with this scripture: 

“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬-‭16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The Holy Bible

To gift me, click here .. see you tomorrow. Keep holding on ❤️👊🏾


Categories
The Overcoming Believer

Reflection Friday 🪞

Happy Friday my people! 👊🏾❤️

I’m almost a year older, yep tomorrow it’s my birthday 🎈 and I just want to share a little bit about my year so far. Lol , what a hard year it’s been. It was so hard that I just laugh bc wow! I started off so optimistic and full of faith. But by February, I realized something: I thought I had faith. I thought I had patience… until life started happening.

Believe me, my three hardest years have been 2014 (when my dad passed), 2021 (when I faced heavy attacks), and 2025. This year, I saw the real meaning of warfare. But guess what? God pulled me out every single time. And through it all, I just kept on going. God’s sustaining grace kept me from drowning and from getting burnt by the fire.

I had some great memories too. My friends and I went wedding dress fitting and boy oh boy we looked like heaven! Too neat! ✨ I attended some of the best conferences in the world at HOT, met new people, and even tried new foods. Oh, I ate egusi yesterday and my next stop is Korean food! 😄 This year, I also wrote and self-published two books (which I HOPE you already have copies of!). My career picked up; I had some clients and learned so much not just from studying, but through experience. It’s true what they say: the more we do something, the more we learn.

Why am I sharing all this with you? To remind you that we all have ups and downs in a year. Not everything is bad, and not everything is good but through it all, we’re still here. We still have purpose in our hearts, and we keep moving forward. This year, God taught me that He is my only source. He gently shifted my eyes away from people, from anything or anyone I had placed my trust in even myself and helped me focus completely on Jesus. And that has strengthened my faith in ways I can’t even explain.

So, don’t be discouraged where you are. Don’t give up. Don’t faint. Don’t lose hope. And whatever you do, don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Remember, you’re uniquely you! Today as you reflect in the mirror, l want you keep in your mind, you have come too far to give up now. Don’t waste your pain. Don’t waste your scars that came from resilience in battle. Don’t give up on God.

I’m reminded of Esther an orphan who probably never thought she’d even meet the king, let alone marry him. She likely never dreamt that far. You know how there are dreams we have because we know they’re within reach… and then there are those dreams we don’t even dare to imagine? Yep those ones. Esther was just living her life, unaware of the divine setup unfolding behind the scenes. Vashti did her drama, the kingdom was shifting and Esther had no idea that her name was next in line for destiny.

That’s how God works sometimes. You have no idea what’s about to happen for you, but heaven is already rearranging things in your favor. One day, you’re just a “nobody,” and the next you wake up in the palace as the Queen. “Argh, but not me. I don’t even know any Mordecai.”

That’s where faith comes in. If we could calculate how the blessing would unfold, then it wouldn’t be God’s blessing. His ways are usually mysterious big, mind-blowing, sudden, and miraculous. It’s never something you’d think of on a normal day. I mean, Joseph went from prison to governor and as a foreigner! How? You can’t explain it, right? That’s exactly how it’s going to be for you.

Believe God. Keep holding on. See you on Monday! ❤️

I love you!

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Yielding the mind

Was Elijah suicidal?

Okaaaay! Welcome to the Yielded Center. I love you. My name is Vanessa, which means butterfly 🦋 that’s how I fly into people’s hearts daily and refuse to leave (LOL).

Newsflash , I’m an author hehe! My book came out yesterday and I’m so excited! Yesterday, God reminded me of all those years I was writing for the shelf, writing so much but never quite breaking through as an author, even though it’s been my greatest desire. This year, I self-published two books. Then God said to me, “You have broken a threshold. You have broken the limitation.” And I was like, “Wow! I didn’t even realise it!” The enemy tried to stop me before but I’ve punched him in the face twice! 💥

I’m sharing this to remind you: sometimes the prayer you prayed yesterday has already birthed something new you just haven’t seen it yet. Give it a few days or weeks, and you’ll know. Anyway, go buy the book it’s only R180 . “That’s too expensive!” Some will say? Well, I’ve learned something: what one person says is expensive to buy from you, they have bought the same thing from someone else for the same price or more. It’s not the price, it’s you. It’s not the product , it’s who is selling it. Now, let’s talk about something that’s been on my mind…

I was reading a message one of the ladies I know wrote yesterday, and it got me thinking deeply about the mental health crisis in the church something we’ve merely brushed off with phrases like, “You’re being too dramatic,” or “Just leave this depression talk; you’re just sad for no reason.”

Now, I’m not saying this because I’m a counsellor. I’m saying this because I’ve spoken to people who, without a doubt, were depressed and even suicidal, yet they couldn’t find a safe place of expression. Why? Because they feared being judged as weak believers people who “don’t take the things of God seriously.” But here’s the truth: we have no idea what people are going through in their homes. Behind every smile could be a battle, a silent cry, a heart hanging by a thread.

Does the Bible talk about depression? Nah. Not in those exact words. But when you read closely, you’ll meet people who, by all accounts, were discouraged, suicidal, worried, stressed, and completely disconnected from joy. One of them was Prophet Elijah. He literally says, “I’ve had enough, Lord. Take my life.” (1 Kings 19:4) Wait, what? You’re a prophet talking like that? I thought people in ministry don’t go through such things!

Jokes on you. 😅

Elijah had just come from a mighty victory he’d called down fire from heaven, embarrassed the prophets of Baal, and witnessed God’s power firsthand. Yet right after that, he wanted to die. It makes you pause and ask, “How can someone feel so low right after a big win?” After a conference? My people, you know the answer.

Before I became a counsellor, I still spoke to many people. Looking back, I realised I was too tough on them, and I’m truly sorry. I was very hard on some people. I’d say things like, “You need to get up! Nobody is coming to save you. Don’t remain weak!” And I meant well, but I was wrong in how I approached it. It took me actually studying and gaining understanding to realise something important:

If you’re not well-informed about a situation truly informed then please, keep your advice to yourself. Don’t go around counselling people just because you have a few “wise words.” Don’t try to explain situations that are beyond your enlightenment. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen and offer prayer. Why? Because many times, without realising it, we’ve added to someone’s depression. Now, am I saying we should entertain the spirit of depression because yes, it is a spirit? NO! I’m saying we must first acknowledge that it’s there, and then find a way to pull people out of that pit with a gentle hand.

Prophet Elijah, Why are you suddenly speaking of death? Don’t you want to run the race anymore? You don’t want to minister to people anymore? Why?Why are you now talking about sitting down while others serve? Are you okay? Why don’t you show up joyfully like before? What’s on your mind, dear prophet? I thought you were fine just by looking at you but it seems you’re not. Prophet Elijah, why is your best option to die? Can’t you at least say, “Lord, strengthen me”?

Ah, people of God sometimes we don’t even know how to pray because we are so overwhelmed. I see you, and I understand. And most times, you’re alone, because even those around you are wondering: How can a prophet be asking for death?An apostle? Someone everyone looks up to? God forbid! But my people, it’s there. It happens. And I want us to be very careful about how we handle such people. Again, it’s better to offer prayer than to speak rashly about what you don’t understand.

Your friend says they’re suicidal, and you reply, “You’re ungrateful, you have food at home!” Can you just shush for a moment and listen more carefully? Because if you listen long enough, you’ll find a line or two a clue that leads you to the real problem. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again I’m sorry. I did not handle some cases well because, truth is, I just didn’t know.

There’s a difference between advice from someone who cares for you as a friend and advice from someone who has actually studied mental health. And I’m not saying this to sound like I know it all. I’m simply drawing a contrast between the me who used to advise and the me who now counsels. Two completely different people. Why? Because now, I can listen to you and actually discern what the real matter is. By the way Elijah just needed food and strength.

And maybe a good trip, because right after that, he travelled for forty days. 😅 Sometimes, that’s all you need too a hug and a little money. I just came on here to tell you this: The same God who saw Elijah’s sadness and helped him up has seen you, too. And He will lift you up. I love you, and see you tomorrow.

Head over to https://buymeacoffee.com/ziyambivanx to purchase my book or support my blog with a gift. Thank youse! ❤️

Categories
The Yielded Believer

Pray about it first

Happy new week, my people! By God’s grace, my new book The Seer In The Hills will be out today by 16:00 hrs on my website, which I’ll embed at the foot of this page. My other book, A Thing Called Time, is also available, and you can purchase either a hard copy or a soft copy. I’m excited to share that A Ticket To Tarshish will be published by the last week of November, and that will wrap up my releases for 2025 (lol).

To those who loved my novels on Wattpad, I have news for you , all those books will be taken down and rewritten to reflect and suit the transformed believer I am today. My purpose in writing has shifted; it’s no longer just about inspiring people, though that’s a beautiful thing to do. I’ve come to understand the power of words, both written and spoken, and I now desire to use that power to minister to hearts. Through writing, I have the privilege of speaking my voice and being heard in your heart (not with your ears) You don’t have to see me to hear me you just need to read what I wrote. So yes, get ready for many, many more books. Now, let’s talk about something very important!

I’ve been thinking lately about the prayer life of a believer, about my prayer life. Why do I pray, and what has prayer truly accomplished in my life? This reflection came during a season of warfare, when I found myself facing decisions that would eventually shape my destiny in significant ways. My mind had already begun to feel crowded with noise, and I said to myself, I must pray about this.

But why was prayer necessary? Why not just make a decision and move on? Because through prayer, we discern the will of God and align ourselves with it in yieldedness. Let me just say this: I know the weight of decisions I once made without praying and they almost killed me.

Do not take a step without prayer. Do not make a decision without prayer. Don’t even start overthinking without prayer. I honestly don’t care what people say, what your friends think is best, or what any prophetic word declares , go to God first! Nobody has a plan for your life better than God does. In Jeremiah 29:11, God was not trying to excite us with comforting words. We often quote that verse, but we overlook what comes next ; the part that says we must seek Him. The plan exists, yes, but you must seek it from God through prayer.

Even if the most anointed person tells you, “I feel you should buy the green dress,” still go to God and ask, “Lord, should I really buy the green dress?” I always tell people even if I give you a word, go to God and confirm if it’s truly from Him. Why? Because we live in a world driven by emotions.

People make destiny-defining decisions simply because they fell in love. Then they end up marrying someone who does not align with the purpose of God over their lives. I’ve had to tell myself firmly: nobody will pressurize me because of age to marry. I will marry only when God says it’s time, and only the person He has chosen for me.

We live in an emotional world that says, “It’s exciting, it’s beautiful, it’s appealing , just take it!” But don’t you remember Eve? The fruit may actually have been the tastiest, and she could have said, “Ah, it’s in the garden, so it must be meant for me.” What she needed to do was run to God and ask for clarity: “Lord, I’m confused. Something in me is saying this is the fruit I need, but I came to ask You should I eat it?” Then God would have reminded her of what He had already said or given her a new word altogether.

Oh, what about those times we think God said something just because we liked it? “I heard God , He said you’re my husband.” I recently saw that comment under two celebrity posts, and I couldn’t help but think how often people say “God said” when, in reality, He didn’t. You were simply led by a crush maybe you fancied the idea of being married to Minister Ebuka so much that you convinced yourself God had spoken, when in fact, it was you speaking to yourself in a voice of deception. This is why it’s so important to pray before making any decision no matter how small it seems. Even if it’s a move to a different city, pray first. Don’t move before God speaks. Move only after He has spoken.

I give you this advice today, pray about it. Tell God about it. Before you move in any direction, ask Him first. When you pray, you don’t just receive divine alignment and leading; you also protect yourself from the vulnerable state you’d find yourself in if you moved without God. So pray about that issue today. Don’t rush. Let God lead.

Let’s continue this conversation tomorrow. Below is the link to my website for books, counselling, and any form of support you may need.

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