I remember a time when I heard a teaching on setting a guard over my mouth, and I became very intentional about my words. I avoided calls that led to gossip, and whenever someone started a conversation rooted in slander, I would deflate it. I would say something that would quench that gossip fire and discourage sitting for hours discussing someone when the conversation would not lead to a solution. I still do this. I haven’t been the most perfect but I still do it.
By virtue of my work as a counsellor, I carry people’s secrets. Big big boxes of secrets. If I wanted to start a gossip blog, I’d probably be the best person for the job, but there is integrity in setting a guard over my mouth. People around me don’t even know who my clients are because, once people know, they want to find out why such-and-such a person is in counselling, which quickly leads to gossip and many senseless conversations. I’m saying this to you, many people talk about what they don’t know, while those who actually know something remain quiet.
Many people online spread false news; they’ve done it about my church, people I know, and situations where those of us who actually knew the truth remained silent. You must know how to discern when someone is lying. The thing is, gossip and lying are common sins, and by that I mean 99%, or even 100%, of people in this world have lied or gossiped before. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, young or old, MALE AND FEMALE, because I know men who chew stories like bubblegum, eh! Rich or poor, dead or alive. I left the 1% for babies; otherwise, at a certain age, some children start gossiping about their teachers and others.
You see, this is something we can all discuss and find help in. If God doesn’t help you, you will even discuss your own mother with strangers on the internet. You will discuss your sisters with people, and your own family will become a billboard in the city because of you. We focus so much on sexual sin and other obvious sins, but what about the one where you wake up itching to spread news? You call anyone who has a cellular to inform them of this burning story that kept you up because you couldn’t sleep, and guess what it was? That someone is getting divorced. Without even knowing why, you have already made up your own version of events.
This is for all of us; otherwise, we are practising selective sinning. It has been such a burden to me that I am also asking God to help me personally to set a guard over my own mouth. Scripture says the tongue is like a fire; it can burn a house down. Some people started gossip in a family, and now, many years later, they have even passed away, but the family remains irreparably broken. People are still not talking because one day at a funeral they let out all the secrets. After getting drunk on Christmas Day in 2008, they started a rumour that someone bewitched someone and because it’s easier to believe a lie than run with the truth, the family believed. Many years later, the damage is craaaazy!
One day, someone started a conversation about something, and midway through, I was like, “Nah, but this is gossip.” I was so convicted. I said, okay, there’s a line between discussing the real flow of events and the Leviathan spirit of gossip coming in to help you keep the “tea” going. I made up my mind, I will pray about my mouth daily, and I do it. I will have very little to say about people’s issues, and I’m doing my best. I want to ask you to try it too. If you don’t set a guard over your mouth, how will you use those same lips to pray? To ask God for breakthroughs? My apostle likes to say, “HABA!” It’s a Nigerian expression meaning, “Come onnn!” or “You can’t be serious!”
This is not for people who pretend like they have never said anything. It’s even done by pastors. It’s done by prophets. People use their tongues to lie, to say, “God said we should do this,” when in reality, they came up with the idea themselves. But if they say God said it, you’re more likely to do it faster or obey them. People use their tongues to manipulate men and women into loving them and marrying them. People make up stories to receive favour from others. People have group chats with your pictures, discussing you. People have calls for hourssssss, talking about one family or another, and then they’ll say, “Ah, but we will pray for them,” because it makes them feel better about what they’ve just done. Best believe they won’t pray. It’s a gossipers closing line.
Let’s confront each other. Let’s put issues on the table. I once had a bone to chew with someone, and I told one of my friends, “I will deal with it.” She said, “Noooo! It will look like this and that.” I said, “I will do it,” because if I don’t, I will use that person as my breakfast, lunch, and supper just to let out my frustration. Speak when you don’t like something. Stop hiding the fact that you’re unhappy with what someone said or did. That’s what causes these things, because you will call someone else, and suddenly, you’re having a feast over their heads. But God wants to help us put a stop to it. To press STOP. People may find you boring, but it’s better to be boring than to be fun while destroying people’s names and reputations.
I want to change a lot of things in my life because what’s the point of being a Christian if I’m just going to imitate myself and not Christ? They were called Christians because when people looked at them, they were like Christ. They didn’t need to speak. They didn’t ask people to call them Christians. People looked at them and saw something that reflected Christ. I don’t want to be a better Vanessa; I want to be like Christ. Even if it means facing the mirror and cleaning up whatever is making me look otherwise.
Scripture says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13). I want to be trustworthy. I want my mouth, my actions, my relationships, and my character to reflect Christ. I hope we all do our best in this, not to become better versions of ourselves, but to become more like Him. See you tomorrow.
If you read my blogs but have never met this Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about, you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you
