Author: Vanessa Moonkie

It’s Reflection Friday my people!🎈

Another weekend, another month moving so fast. It’s like these Valentines people are rushing us this month. We just started February yesterday and now we are a week in? They want to show us their roses and long paragraphs of sweet talk. But don’t worry, next year is your turn. Make sure you make sure. Make sure the 1st of February becomes the 14th or make sure everyday of February is valentines. Make up for all valentines you have missed out on. Show us all the Pepe you have been storing 😂 make it redder than the colour RED!

Today is Reflection Friday, and I want us to pause and reflect on the romantic relationships we have found ourselves in at one point or another, and how they have affected us whether positively or negatively in our journey to occupy through marriage. First of all, I want to say this clearly: if you desire to marry, you desire a good thing, and if you desire to remain single, you also desire a good thing.

There are two types of people who enter marriage: those who have never been in a relationship prior to that particular one, and those who have had one or several before. The latter is usually the more common. By the time people marry, they have often tried with sister A or brother B. For most people, their first relationship does not lead to marriage, in a few cases it does, but more often it does not. This explains why that person you once liked and thought you would marry did not end up being the one. In many ways, this is because we discover ourselves over time; we must first come to know who we are soberly and honestly so that we can marry from a place of identity and purpose. Whether you fall into category A or B, you still qualify for marriage. No one is more qualified than the other. If God wills it, you will have it.

Growing up, I often heard statements like, “By 25 a woman must be married,” or “By 30 a man must have settled down.” The age was always a bit higher for men, and while I understand some of the thinking behind that, I want to say this: the marriageable age is when God presents your spouse. It is God who decides the timing; you simply align when He brings that person. Even at 49, you can still marry, my dear. With that in mind, I want us to soberly consider how we have handled romantic relationships was it all their fault, was it your fault or were there areas where responsibility was shared?

Being honest with yourself in this is the first step toward fixing whatever needs to be fixed. Were you too wishful in your thinking? Did you run ahead of God? Had God truly confirmed them to you, or was your heart so glued to them that the only voice that made sense was your own? Was the relationship an escape plan from a family house, pressure, or circumstances? Did anyone push you into it? Did you overlook the red flags God revealed after you prayed that dangerous prayer? Did you tolerate actions you knew were unacceptable simply because you wanted the relationship so badly? Did you give your body and exchange your birthright?

Knowing who you are now and what you know now, would you still have wanted to marry that person? We must remember that we are better off marrying from a place of identity and purpose.

Vanessa Moonkie

Reflect on these things. Take yourself on a self-mirror journey where you stop blaming everyone else even that person and honestly examine your own part. What was your role? It may not have been as bad as what they did to you (or perhaps you were the doer of all bad things), but maybe your part was staying when you should have left, being silent when you should have spoken up, continuing to respond when you should have cut off, blocked, and deleted, or listening to repeated “I’m sorry” with no change,  when you could have enjoyed singleness and waited on God.

I have often thought that we have gone through things we shouldn’t have simply because we didn’t ask from the very beginning. Was God part of it? Is God part of your decision making process in relationships, or is He only invited to bless a relationship He never ordained?

Vanessa Moonkie

If we truly want to occupy through marriage, should we not learn about marriage? Have you read any book on marriage, or do you plan to copy and paste what you did before? Are you relying on social media tips to teach you how to stay married? Have you listened to a marriage sermon? What does God actually say about marriage, and what are the roles of a husband and a wife? You would never assume the position of a doctor without medical knowledge so why assume the position of a spouse without understanding, when either you or the other person will suffer for lack of knowledge ?

For you to finally do things right, you must have the right knowledge, but it all begins with the person in the mirror, forgive yourself for past mistakes and commit to working on yourself to become the version of you that God wants married. Work on character, deal with all those random  moods you have, deal with that temper and get up and work on your life. I have a scripture for you as we head into the weekend, may your own find you, may you find your own before Valentine’s 😂 or before the end of the month, in Jesus’ name!

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough!”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

BUT

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I LOVE YOU👇🏾 See you on Monday🫰🏾

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you. 

When Ruth left Moab, she was simply on her way to become a support system for her mother-in-law. We are never told that she thought, “I will meet a man there.” Her relocation was not motivated by a man or by marriage; it was motivated by loyalty and love for Naomi, to the extent that she denied her own gods to follow Naomi’s God.

Listen my people, anyone who can make you deny your God? Fear them. Anyone who says, “Let’s do ABC,” like Potiphar’s wife, is not a friend but a foe. Naomi, on the other hand, did not force Ruth into any compromise; Ruth chose that path herself. The best path EVER! She chose God, and once that choice was made, it was only a matter of time before God revealed what He does with those who choose Him. Occupying through marriage, part two. Welcome to the Yielded Center. It’s Worship Wednesday!

Probably many people who read this blog are either married or desire to be married. They say the most dangerous place to be is the place of a situationship where you are neither married nor truly single. Come out from among them. We function best in certainty. Why would God bring Eve to a man who seemed perfectly fine on his own? Adam had everything he needed; he even enjoyed companionship with God, so it was not about having someone to talk to.

The wisdom of God is far beyond our comprehension. God knew He would not be creating man from dust every time He wanted to add a new person to the earth imagine having to create from dust daily; wouldn’t that be a JOB! So God brought the woman to the man so that through their union they could occupy and fill the earth. People of God, a couple carries a mandate to occupy and fill the earth.

“Get married and have children; encourage your sons and daughters to get married and raise families. Flourish in your captivity, for you must increase and not decrease.” Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭6‬ ‭TPT‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/1849/jer.29.6.TPT

Part of God’s plan to occupy is marriage and childbearing. Someone in a position of influence today is someone’s child. Let’s look at Esther: she was an orphan and a Jew, yet she joined the women who were being prepared to marry the king. She went through the process, did what was required, and understood that what she was stepping into was a seat of occupation , it was marriage, it was becoming queen. Every day she was being prepared for that position.

In the same way, many people today are being prepared for marriage and don’t even realise it. Instead of showing up for the “treatments,” they waste time in strange  relationships. Some people are in a treatment season receiving the oils, the care, the preparation (not literally, of course) without realising it is all meant to occupy the position of being someone’s wife or husband. Maybe that is why some of us stay in certain seasons for too long, we did not recognise what was required of us in that season.

Do you have a plan to occupy in your marriage? That means you intentionally plan to raise your children in godly ways. It means you plan to build a good and godly home. It means you purpose to confront your character flaws and deal with anything that could threaten or break your marriage. It means you choose to do marriage God’s way. My yielded people, marriage is beyond kissing and cuddling, beyond finally leaving your parents’ house, it is the plan of God, a kingdom, full proof plan designed for occupation and impact.

So get married. Find a good woman and marry; marry a kingdom man. The one you feel you must “change” is not the one to occupy with. The one you have a long list for of things you will do to “make them Christians” is not the one to even consider occupying with; that is a soul to evangelise, not a spouse to marry. The one still living for wild parties and entangled in the ways of the world is not the one to occupy with. Do not be unequally yoked with anyone. This is not about goosebumps; it is about purpose. “I feel butterflies in my tummy” is beautiful, but it is not reason enough to choose a spouse.

Consider the future, consider the children you will raise, and consider how you will occupy the earth with this person. Let me say this to you, if you are married, you must occupy. If you are single, you must occupy. I pray that you will never find yourself bound to someone who is not God’s will for you. So the next person who says “hi,” pause and consider the full proof plan of God to occupy, and ask yourself, can I occupy with this person? Can we truly agree? For can two walk together unless they are agreed?

I have something for you below that my friend sent me the other day.

Why shiver when you can marry and occupy? Anyways, if you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you. 

You may have run faster than Usain Bolt perhaps even faster than a cheetah to read this blog today. Well done! 😄 Just as learners used to suddenly become extra attentive when the topic of reproduction came up at school, believers tend to lean in a little more when the subject of marriage is mentioned and that’s perfectly okay 😂. Happy new week and happy new month, my Yielded People; I trust you are well and standing strong.

Throughout the whole month of January, we discussed different ways in which we can occupy and I hope you didn’t miss any of them. We will continue building and exploring these ways together. Today, we are speaking about occupying through marriage (pronounced Mahhh-rehhhj 😄). As a woman, I have intentionally studied the lives of women in Scripture Ruth, Esther, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah, among others. In January alone, I read four books on marriage and relationships, listened to sermons, and attended seminars. With confidence, I can say this: marriage is a way of occupying.

• Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Scripture even tells us that one can chase a thousand, but two? Two can put ten thousand to flight. Imagine that, not just double the work, but multiplied impact. There are people who married well and, through that union, have been able not only to build a kingdom marriage but also to build systems together with their spouse. Ruth occupied through marriage, and so did Esther. Her queendom was not an inheritance she was a Jew yet marriage gave her rulership and gave her a voice. 

Many have accelerated in ministry, career, and business after getting married. Scripture shows us that the number you can chase increases when you pair up with the right person. You can reach more, you can occupy more, when you partner with someone. Ruth, you were better off owning the field as the wife of Boaz than remaining a grain harvester chasing behind the foreman. And Boaz, you were better off with Ruth than lying alone at the threshing floor.

I have seen couples in ministry who have truly occupied eh! All they did was discern the right person to marry, come into agreement, and marry. “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?” For some of you, the journey to walk is there, the real issue is agreement. You don’t want to agree with nobody. Even when you see them, you are still searching for more. 

They say some days require a husband 😂and I agree. Some days also require a wife, for the men too. But if you marry the wrong person, what will occupy you will not be territory but pain and heartbreak. You will not occupy instead, you will be occupied by stress, conflict, and unnecessary battles.

People of God, through marriage we also occupy. God told them to marry, have children, and fill the land, “Then God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it’” (Genesis 1:28, NLT). Through marriage come children, and through children the land is filled with God’s people. Now, some people do not desire to marry, and that is perfectly okay. Apostle Paul left it as a matter of choice, he said if you want to marry, do so; if you do not, that is also acceptable. So, we all have a choice: to use this method to occupy, or to continue pushing alone. As for me and my household…

I am not teaching that marriage is a must that would be the wrong advice. I am simply presenting one of the ways in which we can occupy, and it has proven effective. A man and a woman can marry and build an organisation. A man and a woman can marry and build a family. A man and a woman can marry and partner in kingdom work, this is occupying. They can build a home together. They can build a company together. We have all seen examples of couples who have occupied and who are still occupying. Again, if you choose to be single and happy, God bless you. If you choose to marry and be happy, God bless you too. It is a matter of choice.

For some people, your next level will come through partnering with that woman or man. You have what they need, they have what you need, fall in love, invite us to your wedding, and then go occupy so everyone can see that kingdom marriages are thriving. Adam and Eve were in a kingdom partnership, occupying Eden, tending it, on assignment, doing exactly what God commanded! Don’t feel bad for your desire to marry, it’s perfectly fine. Pray the prayer point, it’s very scriptural to want to marry. And don’t let anyone shame you for it. Shall we continue tomorrow? I’d like us to talk about EZTA lol, Esther. But for now, yes, marry and occupy! I love you.

Now, if you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you. 

Another weekend people of God, and the last weekend of January at that. It feels like we only just entered the new year, full of excitement, plans and expectations, and now just like that January is already coming to an end. I want to wake you up from any little sleep or slumber that may be creeping in, because time is already moving. Today is Reflection Friday, a moment where we must ask ourselves the difficult but necessary questions. 

We have eleven months to go, and this is how we will count down until December. So take a moment and honestly ask yourself, what have you done in January? List at least three things you intentionally did , because thirty-one days is a long time to say nothing happened. No excuses. Every month-end, I will ask.

One of the many reasons we struggle to move forward is our desire to be “pampered” in the wrong, expecting even God to understand why we couldn’t pray because we fell asleep while scrolling on social media. In my book, A Thing Called Time, I speak about how the clock never asks for permission to move to the next hour whether you are mindful of it or not, time is moving. Some of you need to get the book.

There is no magic that will simply jump over your twelve prayer points and suddenly leave you with everything figured out. Growth requires intention, discipline, and effort. There is work to be done , so marry yourself to the work. People often plan to start the work in February, saying “I’ll begin on the 1st of February,” and when mid-February arrives, the same promise is pushed to the 1st of March. Before they realise it, they are singing the same song all the way until December. What exactly are you waiting for? Wake up!

People of God, I heard a statement yesterday that truly changed my life: laziness is a sign of a defeated thought process (PDL). Don’t rush past that. To check whether your mind is active and effective, you must examine your energy, your zeal, and your daily activities. The health of your mindset is revealed by what you do with your day. Many people claim they are waiting on God, when in truth the real struggle is in their minds. The most dangerous place to be is when a person believes they are fine, yet blames God, money, or other people for their stagnation. When you can no longer see your own faults, you are in a pit so deep that even help sent to you cannot be recognised.

I want to push you out of your comfort zone. Do you know that someone made a million in January? Someone with no start-up money has already designed their logo, planned a business strategy, opened a social media account, created a budget, and begun the work even without the money. And God sees that seriousness. Someone just like you, with no parental support to start life, became a millionaire. I am saying this to remind you that there are no excuses for why nothing happened in January. What books did you read? What seminars did you attend? This is the purpose of Reflection Friday , to dust off the dust and bring clarity.

Again, January is over and you cannot still be the same person. There is a young lady who put together a PDF of her plans and approached me, asking if I would be her accountability partner. I often avoid doing that because I know I’m not always consistent, but when I opened her PDF and saw the depth of her planning and the level of seriousness, I was compelled to say yes I will do it. 

Every time I ask her what has been done, she gives me clear answers and I’m left thinking, wow, this is surely someone going somewhere BIG. Some of you say you want accountability, yet you expect mentors to beg you to act, to constantly remind you to do ABC. I must sound stern today because I have seen too much potential thrown away by people who believe the year will somehow change without any effort on their part. For an entire month I have written and shared ways to occupy, and you say “wow, powerful,” but liking this blog alone will not change your life. Wake up. You are turning a new age this year, and I say this with all the love in my heart, you will be a year older this year. Wake up.

I close by saying this, all your plans will remain just plans if you do nothing to make them happen. God will not come down and type your CV for you, and no angel will appear with a fully prepared business budget in hand. You are the one who must go to Canva, explore the many available apps, use the data you already have to research meaningful things, and begin putting structure to your vision. 

Let money find you ready, because if it finds you with no plan, you will spend it on McDonald’s. That’s how people have eaten business money. That’s how I ate mine. I had no structure so when it came, I used it carelessly. Then I realised no, it found me empty of a plan. But Now? Hehe! 

Scripture even instructs us, “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest” (Proverbs 6:6–8).

WAKE UP and do something!
See you on Monday. I love you.

Now, if you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you. 

It’s Worship Wednesday!!! 🎈

I have a song I’ve been seriously abusing , Emmanuel by John Fadejola. And to my Nigerian people 🇳🇬 since around May last year, I’ve been stuck on Amb. Chinyere Udoma, especially the song Oke Orimili. Only found out yesterday that I’ve been singing the wrong lyrics (obviously)😭 Will I stop? Most probably not , because reading Igbo is a real struggle for me. But yes, that’s what I’ve been listening to lately. What have you been listening to? Yesterday we discussed the topic , Helping others to occupy.

Moses said, “The Lord your God has given you this land to live in. But all your strong men must cross the Jordan River and help the other Israelites. You must help your brothers until the Lord gives them rest, just as He has given you rest. When they also receive the land the Lord promised them, then you may return to your homes that were given to you.”

Deuteronomy 3:18–20 (Easy to Read Version)

I know many people who love to receive help but will never help anyone else, they ask, demand, and take, yet never think of supporting another person. Those are the ones you must be careful of, even in friendship. Meanwhile, many people are in great spaces today simply because someone once called and said, “I think your skills are needed here,” or “I saw this opportunity and thought of you,” and that single act of thoughtfulness is how they stepped in, occupied, and even took ground for Jesus!

As friends, we share our goals and talk about what we want to do, so when you come across something that may help your friend , tell them. We will not all occupy the same space, we will not all receive the same land, and we will not get the same opportunities, but we can all help each other. We can link one another, we can connect one another. Black people, please , change! If your neighbour cannot pay fees and you know organisations that sponsor, help them apply. It is in every part of life. I later found out who got me on radio, and it was a friend of mine who spoke about me last year; even though the gap only opened this year, my friend helped me to occupy.

One referral can change someone’s life. Tell people you know a singer and point them to the lady in the choir. Tell people you know a writer , tell them about me, obviously lol. Tell people you know a great minister, tell them about someone from MPG, vele. Tell people you know the best designer, tell them about someone from your workplace. Tell people you know someone who does hair and nails, connect them to the sister in church. Help others to occupy! Help them with clients, help them with that open door you see but cannot fit into.

Some doors are not for you, but someone you know can walk through them. You can’t sing, but you know someone who can, text them and send the poster. Moses told the Reubenites and Gadites to help their brothers until they found rest; do you see the weight of that obligation? Help them until they settle, until they occupy. Married women, help the singles occupy , stop gossiping, call them, give good advice, pray for them. Married men, take up a single brother and help him, even through prayer. Life could be far less complex if those who reached the top of the mountain shouted down to those climbing, showing them the way. What many people truly need is help. They are not lazy, not complacent, not stubborn, they just need someone to help them occupy.

The truth is, we all have something we can help someone with, we truly do. Moses taught the two tribes how to love, because help is an act of love. If I can help you, rest assured that I love you and if I refuse to help, then I have either refused to love or denied myself an opportunity to love someone. Many people want to help God, who needs no help, yet they will not help a friend who has no food. One of my life’s commitments is to help people, to be the solution, the answer and then share the gospel.

Some of our neighbours refuse to come to church today because they once asked for salt and were told there was none when you had 20kgs. Where I can help, no one will have to ask me twice, I will cross the Jordan River and stand with my brothers until they occupy. Help begins at home. One of the things my mom taught us early was to help wherever we could: if you have an extra R20, bring a tomato home; if you have R200, pass by Checkers and buy rice to ease the stress; if you have R30, give it to your little brother for school lunch.

You see, help doesn’t have to be in thousands , it’s a mindset of responsibility that gives someone else rest and takes away their worry. That woman in your area struggling with pampers doesn’t need questions about where her man is, she needs help, buy some and give her. Help is not about getting something back; we help because we ourselves are helped by God. Should we not be like Him? 

Sometimes we say, “Ah, but they didn’t ask,” yet some people will never ask again because the last time they did, they were rejected and made to feel small. When you see a child’s shoe is torn, discern and give. I promise you, a life of helping and receiving help is a life that reaches heights we never imagined. We can help each other occupy, we can fight together, speak about one another’s services, and recommend each other’s skills and talents. If your workplace needs a keyboard player, don’t rush to hire a stranger when someone in church needs that opportunity.

If a makeup artist is needed for a wedding, of course choose someone who can truly do the work so the bride doesn’t look like a clown on her big day but still recommend others where you can. And lastly, support someone’s business by paying for their services, whether they are family or not, friend or not. I hope we understand that we can occupy through someone else’s help. Don’t be quick to be rude to people; the person next to you may be the one God will use to help you reach that goal. Remember God’s help comes through people and you could be the one He wants to use for that situation. See you on Friday.

Now, if you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you. 

I love yous.🌹