yielded

The other day while I was in prayer, I felt God tell me that I talk too much & I’m being for real. I know He’s right because I’m not always talking, but when I do? You’d think they were paying me for it. I’m a sociable person, so I enjoy sensible conversations and connecting with people, but sometimes I find myself oversharing, overexplaining, and just talking way more than I need to. So much so that I’ve started feeling that little check in my spirit telling me to just stop.

Honestly, I’m learning to listen to it because I’m someone who can be quiet all day, but I’m also someone who can chat you down when I get going. The danger of that is that sometimes you end up having unchecked words and conversations. You share things too early, you reveal projects or things that were meant to stay with you, you overexplain things that didn’t need explaining, or you speak on things before the time is right. Even sharing dreams too early can be dangerous.

I’m actually grateful that God can correct me in something as simple as this, because sometimes correction doesn’t come through some huge revelation, it’s just that quiet note in your heart saying, “You’ve said enough. Stop.” I’m learning to be okay with that. This is not to say change your personality or stop talking to people but how many things have you share before time? The walls have ears, so they say.

I think Joseph shared his dreams too early. But at the same time, those dreams became part of what motivated his brothers to sell him, and we know that what they did was ultimately still within the plan of God. So guarding your mouth also comes with discernment. It’s not just about “don’t talk.” It’s about asking, Are these the right people to speak to? Is this a safe space? Is this person able to carry and understand what I’m saying? Or are you speaking to a witch and telling them you plan to get married next week? Manje the guy is not replying anymore.

Some people got the information from us. Nobody gossiped. You told them. And because you told them, they had the information they needed to use it against you. There’s a level of discernment that is needed in conversations. Some people have had conversations with people who already had others on standby, ready to tell them everything you said. You are sitting there thinking, “But how did they know?” I will tell you how. You told them.

Many people have broken relationships because their tongue wouldn’t allow them peace. Many have destroyed families because they couldn’t keep something to themselves. Not everything needs to be said, and not everyone needs to know. Sometimes wisdom is knowing what to say, when to say it, and most importantly, who to say it to. The people you have conversations with, are their tongues refined?

African mothers are on this table too. The mamas can literally call CNN to come and do a live broadcast about the fact that you just got a job. You are graduating and the whole community knows. You are relocating and even some random person knows because your mom told their mom, who told their mom who told their uncle. African parents are partly at fault for some of the mishaps that happen in the lives of their children because they will share news faster than TikTok. Those of us who are growing up, I really hope we don’t end up like that.

Ask God for the wisdom to know when to shut up because sometimes, even when what you’re saying is right and there’s no sin in it, you can still talk too much. You can talk so much in a meeting that you literally weary your business partners. Eh! I have met such people. They will come into a meeting to discuss the agenda and somehow end up telling people about their spouse. Like? Jonathan, this is a work meeting. Stop 🛑 .Even preachers, I’m sorry, but sometimes they overshare about their spouses. Now we know that mama snores and drools. We didn’t have to?

Podcasts everywhere, telling us information we genuinely did not need to know. Read the room and learn to discern the conversations you should be having. Guyssss, even down to your past, yes o! There is wisdom in knowing how to testify about certain things. There are people you can tell, and there are people you should never open up to. Someone once asked me why I don’t just open up anyhow, and most of the time when people say they know me, I’m laughing because no, you don’t. I am selective about what I open up about, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Not everybody needs access to every part of you. There are pointless conversations we have, and by pointless, I mean the call genuinely did not need to happen but now 4 hours later, new gist is coming in and it’s becoming ungodly. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Why am I saying this? Why am I telling them this? Does this conversation need to happen?” because wisdom sometimes, is knowing what doesn’t need to be said at all.

For those of you who talk too much, you can only be helped by God. Ask Him to help you because it’s really not a cute thing. It can easily lead to the sins of the tongue. It’s so easy to just get carried away in a conversation and before you know it, you’ve said things you had no business saying. Guard the chats you have, down to the calls you have. Even with the opposite sex. There are conversations you shouldn’t be having if you both genuinely want to stay pure until marriage. Which one is, “Ohhh, you have nice hips”? A trap. Please. Guard your conversations. Guard your mouth. Ask God for discernment because sometimes the conversation itself is the trap. I wish you all the best, and I genuinely hope this resonated with some people, if not most of you.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

I remember a time when I heard a teaching on setting a guard over my mouth, and I became very intentional about my words. I avoided calls that led to gossip, and whenever someone started a conversation rooted in slander, I would deflate it. I would say something that would quench that gossip fire and discourage sitting for hours discussing someone when the conversation would not lead to a solution. I still do this. I haven’t been the most perfect but I still do it.

By virtue of my work as a counsellor, I carry people’s secrets. Big big boxes of secrets. If I wanted to start a gossip blog, I’d probably be the best person for the job, but there is integrity in setting a guard over my mouth. People around me don’t even know who my clients are because, once people know, they want to find out why such-and-such a person is in counselling, which quickly leads to gossip and many senseless conversations. I’m saying this to you, many people talk about what they don’t know, while those who actually know something remain quiet.

Many people online spread false news; they’ve done it about my church, people I know, and situations where those of us who actually knew the truth remained silent. You must know how to discern when someone is lying. The thing is, gossip and lying are common sins, and by that I mean 99%, or even 100%, of people in this world have lied or gossiped before. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, young or old, MALE AND FEMALE, because I know men who chew stories like bubblegum, eh! Rich or poor, dead or alive. I left the 1% for babies; otherwise, at a certain age, some children start gossiping about their teachers and others.

You see, this is something we can all discuss and find help in. If God doesn’t help you, you will even discuss your own mother with strangers on the internet. You will discuss your sisters with people, and your own family will become a billboard in the city because of you. We focus so much on sexual sin and other obvious sins, but what about the one where you wake up itching to spread news? You call anyone who has a cellular to inform them of this burning story that kept you up because you couldn’t sleep, and guess what it was? That someone is getting divorced. Without even knowing why, you have already made up your own version of events.

This is for all of us; otherwise, we are practising selective sinning. It has been such a burden to me that I am also asking God to help me personally to set a guard over my own mouth. Scripture says the tongue is like a fire; it can burn a house down. Some people started gossip in a family, and now, many years later, they have even passed away, but the family remains irreparably broken. People are still not talking because one day at a funeral they let out all the secrets. After getting drunk on Christmas Day in 2008, they started a rumour that someone bewitched someone and because it’s easier to believe a lie than run with the truth, the family believed. Many years later, the damage is craaaazy!

One day, someone started a conversation about something, and midway through, I was like, “Nah, but this is gossip.” I was so convicted. I said, okay, there’s a line between discussing the real flow of events and the Leviathan spirit of gossip coming in to help you keep the “tea” going. I made up my mind, I will pray about my mouth daily, and I do it. I will have very little to say about people’s issues, and I’m doing my best. I want to ask you to try it too. If you don’t set a guard over your mouth, how will you use those same lips to pray? To ask God for breakthroughs? My apostle likes to say, “HABA!” It’s a Nigerian expression meaning, “Come onnn!” or “You can’t be serious!”

This is not for people who pretend like they have never said anything. It’s even done by pastors. It’s done by prophets. People use their tongues to lie, to say, “God said we should do this,” when in reality, they came up with the idea themselves. But if they say God said it, you’re more likely to do it faster or obey them. People use their tongues to manipulate men and women into loving them and marrying them. People make up stories to receive favour from others. People have group chats with your pictures, discussing you. People have calls for hourssssss, talking about one family or another, and then they’ll say, “Ah, but we will pray for them,” because it makes them feel better about what they’ve just done. Best believe they won’t pray. It’s a gossipers closing line.

Let’s confront each other. Let’s put issues on the table. I once had a bone to chew with someone, and I told one of my friends, “I will deal with it.” She said, “Noooo! It will look like this and that.” I said, “I will do it,” because if I don’t, I will use that person as my breakfast, lunch, and supper just to let out my frustration. Speak when you don’t like something. Stop hiding the fact that you’re unhappy with what someone said or did. That’s what causes these things, because you will call someone else, and suddenly, you’re having a feast over their heads. But God wants to help us put a stop to it. To press STOP. People may find you boring, but it’s better to be boring than to be fun while destroying people’s names and reputations.

I want to change a lot of things in my life because what’s the point of being a Christian if I’m just going to imitate myself and not Christ? They were called Christians because when people looked at them, they were like Christ. They didn’t need to speak. They didn’t ask people to call them Christians. People looked at them and saw something that reflected Christ. I don’t want to be a better Vanessa; I want to be like Christ. Even if it means facing the mirror and cleaning up whatever is making me look otherwise.

Scripture says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13). I want to be trustworthy. I want my mouth, my actions, my relationships, and my character to reflect Christ. I hope we all do our best in this, not to become better versions of ourselves, but to become more like Him. See you tomorrow.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Preparation precedes opportunities. Preparation precedes certain outcomes.

When a woman is pregnant, she begins to prepare. I’ve seen it with my siblings and others, they start buying pretty little clothes, nappies, little boots, and little socks. Cute somethings. The child hasn’t even been born yet, but the anticipation of what is coming compels them to prepare. Some start as early as four months, once they know the gender. They prepare the nursery, filling it with toys and everything they will need to care for the baby.

What we see there is preparation for what is to come. Have you been preparing for what you’ve been praying for? You asked God for a miracle. Have you been preparing to receive it? This reminds me of the wedding at Cana. They needed wine, and there were jars at the venue. Imagine Jesus saying, “Okay, let me help you,” but there were no jars available. Where are your jars?

What have you prepared that will position you for the open doors you’ve been praying for? Have you prepared your emotional intelligence? Have you worked on your mind? Have you developed your character? Have you acquired the skills you need? What do you have in your hands? You have been praying for the opportunity, but have you prepared for what the opportunity will require of you?

There are doors that will open that will scan you at the entrance. You will be scanned for capacity. You will be scanned for your mindset. Your Christian life will be scanned. Have you been preparing? “I want to go to the nations!” Are you ready if God said, “By this time tomorrow”? Have you seen a counsellor about that issue since you’re praying for elevation or marriage? I think we underestimate the importance of preparation. Do we remember the story of the ten virgins? What was the issue there? It was a lack of diligent preparation. It’s not called laziness in that story; it’s called foolishness.

Instead of getting enough oil, praying some more, fasting some more, and reading more books, you will find someone who is supposedly going to minister all over the world sleeping like there’s no tomorrow. I was having a conversation with someone, and they said to me, “You have so many talents and so much capacity. I wish big doors would open for you.” I said to them, “One thing I know is that capacity and preparation position you for open doors. If you just keep pushing, it’s only a matter of time.” You can’t be a fisherman without a net and talk about the great catch of fish you will have. Where will you put the fish?

Think about this, the ten virgins. Everyone knows what is happening and what to do, but five actually act and prepare accordingly. The other five are too casual about the whole thing. Too chilled. Too relaxed, like many of us. You’re just too laid-back for what’s happening in the spirit right now. That’s why, even in a group, some will progress and some won’t because of the seriousness they give to preparation.

I think some people became witches because they were envious of people who got what they thought they should have gotten, but they didn’t because they didn’t work hard enough. That’s how you will clap for others who are busy preparing for opportunities right now. Please believe me when I say people are busy in their rooms building capacity. You meet them on social media and laugh, thinking you’re all laid-back. This is how most of my high school friends failed and I passed. We were playing together, but when I got home, I locked in. I had no choice. My parents are not jokers.

Don’t think every virgin has no oil like you. Don’t think everyone is sleeping on destiny. Don’t think that, as friends, you’re all just moving at the same pace. I was talking to my best friend the other day, and I said, “There are things that I will not wait for you on. I will leave you behind if you joke about them.” I think we were discussing fasting. Luckily, she’s locked in. Very seriously. But my point was and is, I’m the one who knows how much I need God right now. I’m well aware of my shoes, so if we do things in a group, you will think you and other people’s destinies are the same.

You carry on like someone whose parents fought battles for them, yet you’re the first serious believer in your family. If they’re not fasting, fast! The wise virgins said, “No, we can’t give you our oil. We didn’t buy it for you. Go and buy yours.” To show you that when push comes to shove, and the Bridegroom comes, and the opportunity comes, it’s your own preparation, your own certificates, that will be required. You cannot borrow.

Start preparing for where you’re going. Start reading the books. Get the understanding. Learn the eloquence. Fine-tune your skills. I’ve been blogging for almost three years now, and it may look like I was born able to write, but I fine-tune it by reading. If you spend even a day with me, you will see that I’m not lying. I read. I read my Bible. I read books. I learn new words. I ask questions to people who spark my brain. I study. I’m not giving you a to-do list that I myself am not doing. Where l lack, I intentionally look for enlightenment.

If God answered that prayer for a wife, are you ready to live with a woman as her priest and covering, or are you still dealing with three other girls? Three strongholds. What about the millions you’re praying for, yet this whole year you haven’t given one coin? Preparation is sacrificial. It’s not easy. It takes faith. It takes courage to even believe the opportunity is coming, so you stay positioned.

Stay prepared. The Bridegroom didn’t come when they expected Him to. It was when they had all fallen asleep. Then suddenly! Suddenly, the offer will come. Suddenly, you will be called to the office. Suddenly, you will meet that person. There won’t be time to borrow or even buy oil. What’s coming may not give you enough time to put a certificate together. They will just say, “We want people with Maths.” LOL! Oh my God, help me with Mathematics! Then automatically, they will chuck me out because Maths and I need a rematch. Maths Maths Maths, who are you unto me? I want to write a poem about Maths. Im traumatised.

Do your best to stay ready. The baby will be born soon; you need to prepare the little hat and everything else needed to welcome it. It doesn’t matter how far along the pregnancy is; faith drives us to prepare. Boy or girl, prepare. Some people have been positioned to birth twins, prepare! You don’t prepare for twins the way you prepare for one child. You know how big your dreams and prayers are. Figure this out quickly. It may happen tomorrow (not the twins obviously, the opportunity LOL) cos some of you are single.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Hey my Yielded People! 🌹

Today l have quite a bittle little something to share and it’s about missed opportunities. Have you ever awakened and realised you missed an opportunity, an open door, a notification to attend something very important, a guy you could’ve said yes to two years ago, a good lady you could’ve wedded but you counted stars until that open door closed? I think a good number of us have. Maybe just maybe, out of a hundred people, a proper ninety-five of us have been on this boat. Let’s talk about it.

A couple of weeks ago , l was scheduled to do an interview with an organisation for something on mental health. We set the date & mind you, I landed on this opportunity by GRACE! You know those doors that open by GRACE? Not the ones you bribed yourself into or begged or used some diabolical tactics to break into. By diabolical, I mean as far as buying good luck soaps from weird people all over social media. “Good luck soap” and you really buy it? Someone with a degree? Let me leave you alone. Back to my story …

The organisers reach out , we set a date to do the what? Exactly. I love that you’re following the story. The day comes & my network is soooooo bad that we couldn’t even get past the greetings. We reschedule twice. We try other means. Things just happened that led me to think , “Let me email them & cancel this whole thing. Clearly it’s not gonna work. What do I need this for anyways? Bla bla blaaaessst bla!” You know when you start talking yourself out of something, it reasonates , it sounds good. Like you’re really onto something.

While I was on that thought, a counter thought came to mind. “Let’s try one more time.” I email them and they are more than excited to what? Reschedule. We’re still together right? The day comes & we do the interview. As I was busy answering questions, things were going so well guys. I was thinking to myself , so l almost missed an opportunity to share my experiences & expertise on such a big platform because of small silly things? A bit of annoyance. Giving up. Eh girl? But let me put it to you that many of us have done the very same thing maaaaaany times in life. Doors open, you shut them. I go lie for you?

One sweet lady comes your way, you play with her , she leaves you, years later you see her photo , she’s happy then something , a wicked something starts telling you, “Message her & write (Hey stranger)” .. Hey stranger??? Someone who you fumbled & toyed with when you had the chance. We miss opportunities that could help our lives because they didn’t come with money. An opportunity to be in the palace with kings & the first thing you ask is “How much are they paying?” Am l saying don’t charge for your talents? No. I’m saying access to the room is equally important. Do not miss opportunities because of foolishness.

Make the most of every opportunity.

Colossians 4:5b NLT

What about opportunities we miss because of friends? You advise each other on wrong things now you lost a business you fasted & prayed for. “My mental health can’t take this!” Ok but can it take the stress of poverty? I bet not. God opens doors but they look too small to the carnal mind so we duck out. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen how one small door can lead to one big door. I wouldn’t be doing justice to this topic if I didn’t mention that people are doors toooo! Nehemiah is planning to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem & guess what? The king writes him a letter of advantage. Who can write you a letter like that? Nobody, because you cut them off & burned the bridge.

People can open doors for you. Eh! I’m telling youuuu. People can open one door & it will change your life forever. You just never know who’s connected to who that can help you. Some doors close forever, some opportunities never come again. I don’t know if the organisers would’ve asked us to reconsider if I had sent that email but I’m glad I didn’t send the email. You sent a text, a voice note, you called & shut a door that will never open again, at least not for you. People of God, we need wisdom to handle such matters.

There are calls you can’t miss. I remember one time I missed a call from my spiritual father. He’s such a busy person. He definitely wouldn’t just call. I saw my phone and I was like, “Yhoooo x 55 billion.” When I tried to call back, he was busy. A call you cannot afford to miss. A call that could change your future. Beneficial to your entire career!

The devil will just give you an urge to put the phone on silent right at the moment the destiny helper is calling. You were literally in that place five minutes ago, then you hear the person you’ve been trying to meet just passed there. The mayor or great woman you’ve been praying to speak to comes to your city for an hour , but you decided to go hike in Pretoria. Randomly. Now you can’t even rush back except you teleport lol , you don’t even like hiking!!

Many avoidable or unavoidable things can happen when opportunities come. A girl you planned to ask out on Wednesday, one other guy does it on Sunday and that’s it, from and to Mrs. What were you waiting for exactly? A book you wanted to publish. A song you planned to write. Something you even had capacity for but because of one reason or another, you miss it. Like I said before, some opportunities don’t come around the second time. Even warfare cannot bring back the person who has now married someone else. God will not break them up for you.

Stop missing opportunities. Stop missing opportunities to showcase your skills at work. “I’m shy, let others do it. I like my shell.” If I catch you? I will burn that shell. Stop missing opportunities to pray and catch what God is saying. Stop being a sleepy head. Things are happening all around. Be at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing with the right people. That said, let’s meet tomorrow to talk about how to prepare for opportunities. I love you, bye🌹

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you