yielded

Hey, my Yielded people! Great statistics on yesterday’s blog! Thank you for reading and for always showing up to read my work. I find it quite humbling that people would leave whatever they are doing and choose to read my blogs. So, thank you! Here’s your frowses 💐

We’re still on the topic of discouragement, and today, I want us to look at the many ways in which discouragement comes. We’re not always discouraged. If you find yourself constantly feeling discouraged, it might be time to speak to a therapist or even your friends, or pastor. On a regular, we’re not always discouraged or sad, except, of course, when we’re talking about depression. Discouragement and depression are not the same thing, and I’ve said this before. You may not even be depressed; you may just be having a field day with discouragement because discouragement can also last a few days. Some people are simply discouraged.

Now, there are things that can move us from a state of joy and confidence into a state of discouragement. When you read about Elijah, for instance, you see that he became discouraged because of Jezebel. There was a cause. Your cause may be that you’ve been praying for a job for five years, and it feels like God is mizing you. Or maybe you’ve been working so hard with little to show for it, or you’ve been at the same level for far too long. These things can wear you down.

This makes me think, and perhaps it could be argued, that man is made to be a positive creature. We’re made for faith. Discouragement came with sin. When our “representatives” were in the garden, we don’t see any of these things, but when they sinned, they brought into the world many of the things we’re still dealing with today. Man enjoys being positive. It shows. A normal person doesn’t enjoy discouragement or pain. When you find yourself in that state, something may be wrong, and it’s worth paying attention to what’s happening within you.

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”
— Psalm 42:5 (KJV)

There are many things that can drive us into discouragement. Fear is one of them. Feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and so many other things can also contribute. Most of the people I’ve spoken to who were discouraged were led to that place by unanswered prayers or the waiting period. I’d then say, in this context, that someone like Abraham could have become discouraged while waiting for the promise, but Scripture says he chose to hope.

We see the direct quencher of discouragement: hope. Abraham stayed in hope. What a hard thing to do! I don’t know about you, but I’ve really gone through things that made me feel like I had absolutely no hope left. My hope would be totally deferred, making my heart sick, just as Scripture says. My people, hope is one of the hardest things to kill, but it’s also one of the hardest things to find when life gets tough.

Let me ask you, Have you felt discouraged lately? Do you know the cause? How long did it last? Are you hopeful? People are different, so we all deal with discouragement differently. I tend to shut down and pray. I’m not really one to call someone at 3 a.m. because I’m discouraged, but for some people, that’s exactly what works. I don’t always know how to discuss what I’m feeling, so I take it up with God. If you need to talk to your friends, please do! Don’t copy me, lol. What’s important is that you don’t stay there, entertaining what is possibly sucking the life out of you.

People of God, I want to say this, guard your heart. The devil is surely going to send many, many things to discourage you. You have to guard your heart so well that when discouragement comes, it doesn’t stay too long or disrupt your life. Hope like Abraham. Pray like Elijah. You’re not the only one. Certainly not! David speaking to himself says , “Hope again in the Lord oh my soul!” He’s having a conversation with himself & he is telling his soul, “Let’s try again!” So please try again my darling. Hope again.

I know it’s proven to be hard many times, but the thing is, there’s a way out. Some people have become discouraged about marriage because of failed relationships. To them, I say, get up and hope again for a spouse! Staying in discouragement isn’t going to bring that lady anyway, so why entertain it? Hope again! Has He not said it? Will He not do it? That’s what Scripture says. Even in that situation, God is still saying, “I said it, so I will do it.”

I have yet another question for you,
Is anything too hard for the Lord?

See you on Thursday!

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Everyone has gone through seasons of discouragement. The best of us have, even the strongest people. It seems to be a common thing we all go through from time to time. The causes are different, and the level of discouragement is also always different. How people respond to it is another thing that varies from person to person. We find many people in the Bible going through the same thing, almost as if all human beings are not immune to it.

Have you ever been discouraged before? I have. Many, many times. Discouraged to the point of being unable to say much in prayer because the words fail me. Discouraged to the point of breaking down in tears without a clear reason why. You’re like “But why am l crying?” Yet the crying is helping. Discouraged to the point of breaking a fast earlier because you’ve been pondering too much on something, and you’re like, “You know what? Not today.”

I’m talking about real-life experiences. Discouraged to the point where, even if you wanted to tell someone about it, you wouldn’t know where to start. Discouraged to continue the work, continue fighting, continue journeying. Some people have been so overwhelmingly discouraged that they started feeling like dying would be a better option to escape how they felt. Some did. Some were found just in time. Some never dared to attempt suicide.

I have read the story of Elijah countless times, and every time I do, I ask myself, how could a man doing such great exploits for God decide he’s done with life just like that? You know, someone’s pain doesn’t make sense to you because it’s someone else’s pain. Just like when winter comes, a warmly clothed person cannot say to one without a jersey, “I understand.” It keeps the conversation going but in all truth , you don’t understand. Just like when you read about Samson or Jonah, you feel like you could’ve done better. But there are many things that even those people would score you 1–0 in. Maybe even 10 – note.

Many people cannot be counsellors, and I will tell you why, they don’t have enough capacity to tap into someone’s emotions, feel what they feel, and then tap out to judge the situation. So, when Elijah was going through all that, we think, “Ah, such a powerful prophet! Suicidal? I’d never do that.” But you’ve never had a Jezebel chasing you to kill you. The only person chasing you is your ex with a “Hey, stranger” text, which I don’t think you should reply to by the way. First of all, you’re not a stranger, so he got the wrong number.

You’ve never been a Samson with long hair, so you will judge unfairly. But you’ve laid down with many people who stole your anointing; it’s just that your hair is still looking good. I’m saying this to us, we may know what discouragement is, but the intensity of what someone is experiencing in their life is most likely to be understood only by them and God.

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been discouraged before, and if I told you why, you might think it’s either too big or too small. Someone’s source of discouragement may not be the same thing you’re going through, and that’s why you must not think someone who lost a baby is better than someone who lost their mother. David’s discouragement is not greater than Elijah’s discouragement. Nobody feels “better” pain. Pain is pain.

I want us to stop thinking that if it’s not what we went through, then it’s not a scar and it shouldn’t be acknowledged. “What have you been through? You don’t know my own story.” Rest with that. I don’t know, man. Maybe counselling changed me a lot, and I now see people differently than before. I can now understand some of the things people do. I have stopped just judging how people respond to things.

There was a time when I used to wonder why someone was always crying. I was like, “Nah! Cry me a river baby!” Until I started witnessing people’s vulnerable moments right before my eyes. Tears that could fill a bucket, and someone is literally beating their chest, begging themselves to keep holding on. The same person you think is not as tough as you is actually even tougher than you because, after all that, they get up and continue with life.

Discouragement, my people, is a real thing. It’s such a broad topic, and I intend to discuss how to fight through it. I pray that it helps many of us here.You are not the only one. Sometimes, as human beings, we want to feel seen. We want to hear or believe that we are the only ones going through what we’re experiencing, but you’re not. This is not to downplay anything you’re feeling. It’s simply to remind you that this too shall pass.

What’s your first step? As I wrap this up, Elijah prayed.

“And he said, It is enough; now, O LORD, 1 Kings 19:4a KJV)

See you tomorrow. I love you.❤️

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

There’s a story in the Bible that always stands out for me when it comes to this topic. A group of young boys were mocking Elisha, and the man pronounced a curse over them in the name of the Lord. Two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of them (2 Kings 2:23–24). Imagine that! It’s such a sobering story because it reminds us that words are not something we should take lightly. Because 42 people being killed because of a word spoken by a man of rank! Eh!

You know how some people mocked a granny at the market, and in the night she woke up and cursed them? They didn’t know she was a wincchhh. Now they are cooked because they lacked the intelligence to understand the power of words. You laugh at people anyhow ? Beyond such stories, one thing we must understand is that words carry weight, and God has not left us without a guide on how to use them. Certainly not!

Scripture has given us light on how we must use our words. If it wasn’t important, God wouldn’t have said so much about it in His Word. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. James 3:5–10 also tells us how something as small as the tongue can cause so much destruction. So, clearly, this is something God wants us to pay attention to.

Nowadays, people say God only looks at the heart, and it’s all a lie when people use that statement to justify careless speech or other conducts of carnal nature. It’s so sad that many of us believe this so much that we are even living likewise. Yes, God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7), but Jesus also tells us that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34). So, you cannot tell me that God looks at your heart while you use your mouth anyhow. What comes out of your mouth matters too!

Let’s even begin with the words you say to yourself. You have no business calling yourself ugly, useless, stupid, or all sorts of demeaning names. You may think, “Ah, that’s extreme. Nobody does that.” But it’s actually a reality. People call themselves all sorts of things that are so far from what God has called them. You wake up every day and speak negatively about yourself, and somehow you don’t think it matters.

So, what kind of words have you been speaking to yourself? Are they words that build you up, or are you constantly tearing yourself down? Ephesians 4:29 tells us to speak words that build others up according to their needs. And surely, we must also learn to stop tearing ourselves down with the words we speak. What about the words you speak to your family, friends, colleagues, and the people around you? Are they words that build and not tear down, or you simply don’t care? Have you ever stopped to think about how someone will feel after hearing what you are about to say?

Have you thought about the aftermath of that conversation? Because there are people who no longer speak to each other, and it’s been years, all because someone said something. Words are powerful! They can heal or break. They can build or destroy. Proverbs 12:18 says reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. So, please, let’s not act like words are just words.

Some words spoken to you have probably brought so much heaviness and pain. Maybe it was a friend, an aunt (masters of unchecked words!), or a colleague. I know aunties, especially in African families, can sometimes talk anyhow. They don’t care; they just ask you when you are having kids, and meanwhile, you and your husband are believing God for a child. They ask you questions about things you are struggling with, things you are praying about, and things you haven’t even found the courage to talk about sometimes so rudely which the worst choice of words.

People who don’t know what you are going through, think they can just say whatever they want but not every question needs to be asked, stop asking people when they are getting married, or having kids, or questions you have no business asking , not everything that comes to your mind needs to come out of your mouth. Colossians 4:6 tells us that our speech should always be gracious. We need to learn how to speak to people!

There are people who haven’t been able to move past what you said to them. They may never tell you, but their hearts are bleeding. You may have forgotten the conversation, but they still remember exactly how you made them feel. Meanwhile, you have moved on with your life, not knowing that someone is still carrying the weight of your words. This is why we cannot afford to speak anyhow. You never really know what someone is going through or how deeply your words will affect them.

We need to learn to speak as the Church of God, from the pulpit to the congregation. The person on the pulpit needs to learn the right words and language, and the same goes for the believer sitting down in the congregation. This is a requirement for all believers, not just pastors or people who preach. You can’t just get onto the pulpit and cuss, insult people, or speak carelessly and then claim to be representing God.

What’s the point of coming to church, hearing the Word, and still refusing to let it change the way you speak? James 1:22 tells us to be doers of the Word and not hearers only. We cannot claim to be growing in God while refusing to pay attention to something He has clearly addressed in Scripture. Beloved, we need to be intentional about our words. Think before you speak. Ask yourself whether what you are about to say will build someone up or tear them down.

Learn to correct people without humiliating them, speak the truth without being unnecessarily cruel, and show love even when you have to address something difficult. Not everything you think needs to be said, and not everything you can say should be said. May the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in the sight of God (Psalm 19:14). Let us learn to speak in a way that honours Him, because our words matter, and how we use them matters too.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

The other day while I was in prayer, I felt God tell me that I talk too much & I’m being for real. I know He’s right because I’m not always talking, but when I do? You’d think they were paying me for it. I’m a sociable person, so I enjoy sensible conversations and connecting with people, but sometimes I find myself oversharing, overexplaining, and just talking way more than I need to. So much so that I’ve started feeling that little check in my spirit telling me to just stop.

Honestly, I’m learning to listen to it because I’m someone who can be quiet all day, but I’m also someone who can chat you down when I get going. The danger of that is that sometimes you end up having unchecked words and conversations. You share things too early, you reveal projects or things that were meant to stay with you, you overexplain things that didn’t need explaining, or you speak on things before the time is right. Even sharing dreams too early can be dangerous.

I’m actually grateful that God can correct me in something as simple as this, because sometimes correction doesn’t come through some huge revelation, it’s just that quiet note in your heart saying, “You’ve said enough. Stop.” I’m learning to be okay with that. This is not to say change your personality or stop talking to people but how many things have you share before time? The walls have ears, so they say.

I think Joseph shared his dreams too early. But at the same time, those dreams became part of what motivated his brothers to sell him, and we know that what they did was ultimately still within the plan of God. So guarding your mouth also comes with discernment. It’s not just about “don’t talk.” It’s about asking, Are these the right people to speak to? Is this a safe space? Is this person able to carry and understand what I’m saying? Or are you speaking to a witch and telling them you plan to get married next week? Manje the guy is not replying anymore.

Some people got the information from us. Nobody gossiped. You told them. And because you told them, they had the information they needed to use it against you. There’s a level of discernment that is needed in conversations. Some people have had conversations with people who already had others on standby, ready to tell them everything you said. You are sitting there thinking, “But how did they know?” I will tell you how. You told them.

Many people have broken relationships because their tongue wouldn’t allow them peace. Many have destroyed families because they couldn’t keep something to themselves. Not everything needs to be said, and not everyone needs to know. Sometimes wisdom is knowing what to say, when to say it, and most importantly, who to say it to. The people you have conversations with, are their tongues refined?

African mothers are on this table too. The mamas can literally call CNN to come and do a live broadcast about the fact that you just got a job. You are graduating and the whole community knows. You are relocating and even some random person knows because your mom told their mom, who told their mom who told their uncle. African parents are partly at fault for some of the mishaps that happen in the lives of their children because they will share news faster than TikTok. Those of us who are growing up, I really hope we don’t end up like that.

Ask God for the wisdom to know when to shut up because sometimes, even when what you’re saying is right and there’s no sin in it, you can still talk too much. You can talk so much in a meeting that you literally weary your business partners. Eh! I have met such people. They will come into a meeting to discuss the agenda and somehow end up telling people about their spouse. Like? Jonathan, this is a work meeting. Stop 🛑 .Even preachers, I’m sorry, but sometimes they overshare about their spouses. Now we know that mama snores and drools. We didn’t have to?

Podcasts everywhere, telling us information we genuinely did not need to know. Read the room and learn to discern the conversations you should be having. Guyssss, even down to your past, yes o! There is wisdom in knowing how to testify about certain things. There are people you can tell, and there are people you should never open up to. Someone once asked me why I don’t just open up anyhow, and most of the time when people say they know me, I’m laughing because no, you don’t. I am selective about what I open up about, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Not everybody needs access to every part of you. There are pointless conversations we have, and by pointless, I mean the call genuinely did not need to happen but now 4 hours later, new gist is coming in and it’s becoming ungodly. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Why am I saying this? Why am I telling them this? Does this conversation need to happen?” because wisdom sometimes, is knowing what doesn’t need to be said at all.

For those of you who talk too much, you can only be helped by God. Ask Him to help you because it’s really not a cute thing. It can easily lead to the sins of the tongue. It’s so easy to just get carried away in a conversation and before you know it, you’ve said things you had no business saying. Guard the chats you have, down to the calls you have. Even with the opposite sex. There are conversations you shouldn’t be having if you both genuinely want to stay pure until marriage. Which one is, “Ohhh, you have nice hips”? A trap. Please. Guard your conversations. Guard your mouth. Ask God for discernment because sometimes the conversation itself is the trap. I wish you all the best, and I genuinely hope this resonated with some people, if not most of you.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

I remember a time when I heard a teaching on setting a guard over my mouth, and I became very intentional about my words. I avoided calls that led to gossip, and whenever someone started a conversation rooted in slander, I would deflate it. I would say something that would quench that gossip fire and discourage sitting for hours discussing someone when the conversation would not lead to a solution. I still do this. I haven’t been the most perfect but I still do it.

By virtue of my work as a counsellor, I carry people’s secrets. Big big boxes of secrets. If I wanted to start a gossip blog, I’d probably be the best person for the job, but there is integrity in setting a guard over my mouth. People around me don’t even know who my clients are because, once people know, they want to find out why such-and-such a person is in counselling, which quickly leads to gossip and many senseless conversations. I’m saying this to you, many people talk about what they don’t know, while those who actually know something remain quiet.

Many people online spread false news; they’ve done it about my church, people I know, and situations where those of us who actually knew the truth remained silent. You must know how to discern when someone is lying. The thing is, gossip and lying are common sins, and by that I mean 99%, or even 100%, of people in this world have lied or gossiped before. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, young or old, MALE AND FEMALE, because I know men who chew stories like bubblegum, eh! Rich or poor, dead or alive. I left the 1% for babies; otherwise, at a certain age, some children start gossiping about their teachers and others.

You see, this is something we can all discuss and find help in. If God doesn’t help you, you will even discuss your own mother with strangers on the internet. You will discuss your sisters with people, and your own family will become a billboard in the city because of you. We focus so much on sexual sin and other obvious sins, but what about the one where you wake up itching to spread news? You call anyone who has a cellular to inform them of this burning story that kept you up because you couldn’t sleep, and guess what it was? That someone is getting divorced. Without even knowing why, you have already made up your own version of events.

This is for all of us; otherwise, we are practising selective sinning. It has been such a burden to me that I am also asking God to help me personally to set a guard over my own mouth. Scripture says the tongue is like a fire; it can burn a house down. Some people started gossip in a family, and now, many years later, they have even passed away, but the family remains irreparably broken. People are still not talking because one day at a funeral they let out all the secrets. After getting drunk on Christmas Day in 2008, they started a rumour that someone bewitched someone and because it’s easier to believe a lie than run with the truth, the family believed. Many years later, the damage is craaaazy!

One day, someone started a conversation about something, and midway through, I was like, “Nah, but this is gossip.” I was so convicted. I said, okay, there’s a line between discussing the real flow of events and the Leviathan spirit of gossip coming in to help you keep the “tea” going. I made up my mind, I will pray about my mouth daily, and I do it. I will have very little to say about people’s issues, and I’m doing my best. I want to ask you to try it too. If you don’t set a guard over your mouth, how will you use those same lips to pray? To ask God for breakthroughs? My apostle likes to say, “HABA!” It’s a Nigerian expression meaning, “Come onnn!” or “You can’t be serious!”

This is not for people who pretend like they have never said anything. It’s even done by pastors. It’s done by prophets. People use their tongues to lie, to say, “God said we should do this,” when in reality, they came up with the idea themselves. But if they say God said it, you’re more likely to do it faster or obey them. People use their tongues to manipulate men and women into loving them and marrying them. People make up stories to receive favour from others. People have group chats with your pictures, discussing you. People have calls for hourssssss, talking about one family or another, and then they’ll say, “Ah, but we will pray for them,” because it makes them feel better about what they’ve just done. Best believe they won’t pray. It’s a gossipers closing line.

Let’s confront each other. Let’s put issues on the table. I once had a bone to chew with someone, and I told one of my friends, “I will deal with it.” She said, “Noooo! It will look like this and that.” I said, “I will do it,” because if I don’t, I will use that person as my breakfast, lunch, and supper just to let out my frustration. Speak when you don’t like something. Stop hiding the fact that you’re unhappy with what someone said or did. That’s what causes these things, because you will call someone else, and suddenly, you’re having a feast over their heads. But God wants to help us put a stop to it. To press STOP. People may find you boring, but it’s better to be boring than to be fun while destroying people’s names and reputations.

I want to change a lot of things in my life because what’s the point of being a Christian if I’m just going to imitate myself and not Christ? They were called Christians because when people looked at them, they were like Christ. They didn’t need to speak. They didn’t ask people to call them Christians. People looked at them and saw something that reflected Christ. I don’t want to be a better Vanessa; I want to be like Christ. Even if it means facing the mirror and cleaning up whatever is making me look otherwise.

Scripture says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13). I want to be trustworthy. I want my mouth, my actions, my relationships, and my character to reflect Christ. I hope we all do our best in this, not to become better versions of ourselves, but to become more like Him. See you tomorrow.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you