Author: Vanessa Moonkie

I have had the privilege of counselling a number of people who have been caged by one spirit or another, one of which is masturbation. You would do well to reshare or repost this particular blog because many who struggle with it will never openly say so. It is one of those spirits that thrives in secrecy, and because it is seen as “shameful,” many people hide it until it becomes chronic. Personally, I would rather someone opens up before it gets worse, because even the counselling process is not the easiest in such situations. I pray that today we receive the understanding needed to truly set us free.

When your body reaches puberty, we all know that many things begin to change, including your hormones. Your body changes, you begin to feel differently, and you start growing into adulthood. One of the things that often comes with this stage is sexual maturity, for lack of a better word. If you look closely, many people started masturbating during their teenage years and simply continued into adulthood. That is many years of slowly building iron bars around themselves until it eventually becomes a cage.

No addiction starts off as an addiction. It begins gradually and subtly; you hardly notice it until it becomes a daily occurrence. And guess what? That is exactly what the devil wants. He wants you to discover it late, because by then, coming out of it often takes warfare. We do not like these kinds of conversations because we are often adamant about hiding and pretending.

A child eats sugar and keeps hiding it, wiping their mouth so nobody notices, until one day their stomach gets fed up with all that sugar and they end up having the worst experience in the toilet. That child is many people. You are battling to come out of something, and you have already done all you know to do. Let me help you a little.

Many believers argue about whether this is a sin or not. “It’s not written in the Bible!” because often we look for whatever justifies or satisfies the flesh. I have seen posts claiming that it is “good” for you, and even ministers saying that as long as it is not the “real” sexual experience, it does not count. But I want to ask you something, what do YOU think? What is your honest take on this issue?

I will tell you what I know. The Bible speaks about everything, including masturbation, when it addresses sexual impurity and immorality. If sex was created for two married people, how then does one young man or woman end up having it alone? Are they really alone. Do spiritual principles change that easily? How is it that even elderly men and women still struggle to stop? In purity there is no constant battle to be free because freedom is already there. It is only in darkness that souls struggle to find light. Long story short, masturbation is a sin against your own body. Maybe let us read scripture.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”

1 Corinthians 6:19 NIV

“Do you not know? Are you not aware?” God is breaking the ignorance we may have by saying, “Listen, you should know this.” That body you call “yours” is actually no longer yours. It belonged to you before you came to Christ, but ownership changed when you gave your life to Him. This means the world cannot teach us how to use our bodies because they use their own bodies, but we do not. We no longer have authority to do whatever we want with these bodies because they are no longer just bodies; they are temples.

Think about your church building for a moment. Imagine people having sexual relations there, opening bottles of vodka, smoking, or doing whatever they please inside the church. Does it look right? No. Why? Because temples are sacred. That is exactly what your body is before God. So when Scripture says, “you are not your own,” it means your body now belongs to Him.

If someone took my leftover food without permission, I would be annoyed because they took what did not belong to them. Don’t try that one. In the same way, many people take and use what no longer belongs to them, while the world and even science say, “Explore your body before marriage.” Those words have affected a generation that could have been on fire for God.

Why should you stop masturbating? First things first, that body is no longer yours. That body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, not a playground for demons. I am going to explain this further, even using a story told by a man I know will help many people understand. You need to be free. You need to stop. And yes, it is possible.

Today I came to give you a newsflash, or rather a reminder, you cannot do whatever you want with something that does not belong to you. “My body, my choice” is the language of the world and the unsaved, not the believer. You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Let’s continue tomorrow.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to my blog. Another week, another dollar, as they say. I pray that you all have a beautiful and productive week ahead. Above all, I pray that we become more intentional with our gifts, our talents, and our skills intentional about building platforms, creating structures, dominating in our areas of assignment, being fruitful, multiplying, and most importantly, walking in purpose.

I truly believe that many people struggle to find the drive to build their lives or pursue meaningful work because they lack a sense of purpose. Purpose gives direction. It gives clarity. It gives you a reason to wake up and keep going even when things become difficult. This week, I want to encourage you to pray and seek understanding about your purpose. Ask God to reveal why you are here and what you are called to do.

Once you begin to understand your purpose, so many things start to make sense. Your decisions become clearer. Your goals become more intentional. Your path becomes more defined. Even your friendships and the person you choose to marry begin to align with where you are going. However, when you do not know your purpose, you end up moving without direction. You find yourself doing everything, following everyone, and chasing whatever comes your way without order or clarity. Anyways, let’s get into today’s topic “What About the Leftovers?”

First, let me tell you a story.
So, I went through a season where I lost my job and not just any job, guys, it was a good job. You know when life is comfortable, your salary is salaried-ing, and then suddenly everything changes? Yeah. That kind of job loss. When you lose something that once gave you stability, you enter a completely different season. A season where you genuinely have to depend on God for provision. Not just for the big things like rent or bills, but for everything. I mean everything. Food, transport, airtime, toiletries… everything.

Now ladies, you already know toiletries are not just “a few things, “ the list never ends. Being a woman is honestly a full-time expense. Which is why I want to quickly encourage you guys, if you can, please support the pad drive by Sinothando Global Impact that’s S-I-N-O-T-H-A-N-D-O Global Impact. If you click the highlighted text, it’ll take you directly to their page where you can donate & get a girl a pack of pads. Anyways, back to the story.

So there I was, in this season of needing provision, and my prayers started sounding very… specific. Every prayer became about what I needed.

“Lord, please provide for this.”
“Lord, I still need money for that.”
“Lord, don’t let me forget to pay this.”
“Lord, I need groceries.”
“Lord, remember my account details are still the same. You can use world remit, PayPal, you can even put the money under my pillow.” Eh l was calling currencies not Zim dollar but yeah, you catch my drift don’t you?

God was still providing for me, honestly. In ways I didn’t even expect sometimes through strangers. While He was providing, He also started teaching me. He started reminding me of certain things. He began showing me lessons that were much deeper than just money. I honestly did not expect Him to address my cooking. Yep.

“When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, ‘Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.’”

John 6:12 (NIV)

He said to me, “I provide food for you every month. I make sure you have groceries but I want you to pay attention to the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. What did they do with the leftovers?” Because if I’m honest, sometimes I freeze leftovers… and most times I throw them away. Then God challenged me further “Why do you cook more than you need?” He was right. He’s always right. Btw, sometimes I’m a chef eh. You eat & dance at the same time because Sister V, you have done signs & wonders!

Why was I cooking like I was feeding an entire neighbourhood when there were only a few people in the house? Why was I using the biggest pot in the kitchen, filling it up with what would end up in a dustbin? The thing is, overcooking doesn’t just lead to waste. It causes your groceries to finish much faster. The rice finishes quickly. The mealie meal disappears quickly. The meat is gone quickly. Not because people actually ate all of it, but because half of it eventually ends up in the bin or sitting in the fridge becoming something nobody wants to touch anymore.

You know that container at the back of the fridge? The one everyone keeps opening, staring at, and closing again? Exactly. Those icecream lunchtime in every African home. God began teaching me that stewardship is deeper than just how you spend money. Stewardship is also about what you do with the things you spent the money on. You can buy groceries, pray over them, thank God for them, and still mishandle them. You can pray for provision while wasting what was already provided.

That was such a difficult truth for me because sometimes we enjoy the receiving, but we do not enjoy the responsibility of taking care of what remains. Yho. After everyone had eaten and was full, Jesus instructed the disciples to gather the leftovers. Why? Because God is not wasteful. Think about it, Jesus could multiply bread and fish every single day if He wanted to. He was not lacking in power or provision but even in abundance, there was still an instruction to gather what remained.

That means the fact that God provides daily does not give us permission to waste daily. God is abundant, yes but that you will fry 15 drumsticks and kill your self with gluttony because you just got promoted. “I’m a foodie.” Beautiful! But let’s actually Selah. The last time God provided, what did you do? “I paid tithe so it’s cool.” God is also interested in what you do with the rest of the money. You complain about weight gain but you are in restaurants daily & now you have to pay more money for the gym & herbal teas because you don’t want a potbelly but you ate 11 kfc’s a day, driving through. You see now? We have to tell each other the truth.

The bread & fish that He gave you, either you pack the left overs & actually eat them or you cook what is enough. I believe this is also for someone. Stop being wasteful. Stop it immediately. Social media is full of people who waste & they do it for views. Food that someone is crying for. We may think it’s not that important but if it wasn’t, why is it in the bible? Do things responsibly. Don’t forget that God wants an account for all He has given you. God bless you and see you tomorrow.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Today we are wrapping up the topic of “Can God show you your spouse?” and I just want to narrow it down to the question that many singles ask ,”Where is she?” “Where is he?” “When is he going to find me?” “Where is she going to come from?” “Is this the one?” “Should l keep waiting?”

You know, John was so discouraged that he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are You the One, or should we wait for another?” because they had been waiting, and it was almost like, “I’m still in prison, so are You really the One?” These are the kinds of questions discouraged people ask. And today, I just want us to wrap this up, and I pray that God gives us peace concerning this topic and this entire discussion.

Now, the waiting season for marriage and the length of it is not the same for everyone. The people who got married at 21 or 25 there is really no set age in the Bible where it says, “By 30 you must be married.” Those are standards we often place on ourselves or standards we inherited from our families. Maybe your parents are saying, “You are already 28, where are my grandchildren?” and you’re wondering where exactly you are supposed to get these grandchildren from when no one is even saying hi to you. Your DM don turn into a desert.

The age at which people get married, the length of the waiting season, and all these things are going to look different for each and every one of us. And because that is true, I think we need to ease into that truth and accept it. You are not going to get married at the same time your friend gets married. You are not going to get married at the same time your neighbor gets married. Sometimes people are married for five years before you even meet your person, and only God knows why.

Sometimes there are still things you need to work on. Sometimes the other person is also not ready. Sometimes there are just many different factors involved. But whatever the case may be, the journey is unique to each and every one of us.

I feel like sometimes we become impatient and emotional because we are constantly comparing our journey to someone else’s journey. We are trying to catch up with friends, trying to keep pace with people around us, almost like there is this silent social media competition happening. I’m asking you, by the grace of God, to stay in your lane and remain committed to your own journey and your own path with God, especially when it comes to marriage SO THAT you don’t kiss frogs hoping they turn into princes & princesses.

Then there’s also a group of people who are like, “But where is he? Because God… really, where is he?” And someone may say, “But there are so many men around you.” No, that’s not the point. Where is he? Where is she? Where is my husband? Where is my wife? Where is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh?

You get to a certain stage and you genuinely start wondering, “Okay God, but seriously… where is this person?” Is he hiding? Is she lost? Is she walking all the way from Zimbabwe to South Africa? What is actually happening here? Those questions are real. Sometimes you laugh about it, but deep down you really are wondering. For some people, that waiting season starts making them think maybe something is wrong with them & sometimes there is genuinely nothing wrong with you. You are just in a waiting season. Wait nicely. Wait well.

One of my friends and sisters, Zee, once told me something that really stayed with me. She said, “You have to wait well.” And I thought, wow… that’s so true. Waiting well means continuing to do your work in the field while you wait. Praising God while you wait. Worshipping God while you wait. Serving God while you wait. Healing while you wait. Being restored while you wait. Growing while you wait. All of these things matter in a waiting season.

You also need the right people around you while you wait. People who will encourage you and speak life into you. Not people who are constantly saying, “Ah shame, you’re getting old now, where is your husband?” or “Look, you’re aging without children.” No. Those kinds of voices will only discourage you further. If you ask me where my husband is, I will really bite you.

So maybe before you ask, “Where is he?” or “Where is she?” you first need to ask, “Where am I?” Maybe even, “Who am I?” I’ve had conversations with different people who are also waiting for marriage, and sometimes you quickly realise that someone is still deeply unhealed. It’s there. You can sense it. Someone is still very broken. Someone still hasn’t found a sense of purpose. Someone still doesn’t even know what they want to do with their own life, but they’re already ANGRY at God why He is not releasing Peter.

I think one of the things that really needs to die in the church is the pressure to marry simply because someone is of age or because they look spiritually mature. Just because someone can quote five scriptures & adds bold tongues sounding like a lion does not mean they are emotionally ready for marriage. L There is healing attached to marriage. There is emotional maturity attached to it. There are mindsets, habits, character, and ideologies attached to it.

So while there’s no formula that says, “Once you reach this age, you must marry,” you also have to be careful not to fall into pressure. Don’t force yourself into marriage just because after church everybody is getting into cars with their husbands and wives. Find out who you are. Find out where you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Find out where you are going. Build your life. Heal. Grow. Become whole. Trust that the person who aligns with that journey will find you, or however God chooses for you to meet. Desperation has introduced people to unnecessary suffering.

I think maybe we also need to be honest with ourselves. As you are right now, with your attitude, with your level of healing, with the way you respond to people, do you genuinely think you are ready for marriage? Many people will quickly say yes. But do the people who live with you find you easy to live with? Obviously nobody is easy to live with a hundred percent, but at least you should have an awareness of the areas where God is still working on you.

Then there are those people who are like, “No honestly, I think I’m ready.” If that’s you, then keep seeking God in prayer. Keep trusting Him. Keep walking with Him.

If anyone were to ask me where I am with this whole marriage thing, I think my answer now would simply be, I’m at peace. A goood measure of peace. I’m genuinely at peace. I found that when I pursue God and pursue Him wholeheartedly, He gives me assurance. He reassures me that I will get there. He reassures me that I’m in the right place and that He is helping me.

So I’m no longer in that place where I’m panicking and saying, “God, but he must look like this, he must come now, he must be this and this.” I’m not there anymore. I pray all of us get to that place where we just find peace. Peace with the fact that what God has for you will come in its time. Your anxiety concerning this is stealing your koinonia with God.

At the same time, I also want you to be careful, because many people will come. Your DMs will be active. Suddenly everybody has received a revelation about you. Someone once told me they had a dream of their wife in a leopard print top. He explained one of my photos so well, I thought hmm for reaaaaaaalzyyyy? Then I decided to go check my profile if I’ve ever posted that photo. Lo & behold! Ahh he wanted to crook me with dreams. They will tell you the sweetest stories. “I will give you the world” “I’ve never met anyone like you.” “God told me in a dream.” Ah. Discern, my sister. Discern, my brother. Please.

In all of this, I beg you, keep consecrated while you wait. Do not let loneliness push you into compromise. Do not let desperation make decisions for you. Don’t find yourself jumping from one bed to another trying to fill a void that only God can heal. Wait with wisdom. Wait with discernment. Wait with integrity. Zip up. Close up. “It’s winter, l need a blanket with eyes.” Where have you ever seen a creepy blanket like that? Get a hot water bottle & drink tea. Stop entertaining winter lust.

Lastly, hear God for yourself. You will get many people giving you advice on what to do. Some will say, “Go on dates.” Others will say, “Put yourself out there.” Others will say, “You’re too picky.” Ah, everybody will have an opinion. I want you to learn how to hear God for yourself. Don’t assume things. Don’t be emotionally led. The Bible says one of the signs that we are sons of God is that we are led by the Spirit of God.

So if you truly meet someone, pray. Ask God to lead you. Ask Him for discernment. Ask Him for wisdom. People always say a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage, l totally agree. If you’ve seen the red flags, my dear, step out. Stop trying to make a dress out of it. It is red. Leave. But if you’re seeing green flags, then praise God. All the best. Invite us to the wedding.

If there’s someone you like and you want to take your chance and approach them, honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially for the men , approach the girl. She says no? It’s okay. At least you tried. Imagine missing your wife because you were busy “waiting on the Lord” meanwhile the Lord was waiting for you to say hello. Womennnnnn , I don’t think you should approach men but yeah.

Dress well. Bath. Moisturise. Smell nice. Take care of yourself. The type you are looking for is also looking for a type. As for the question, “Where is the person?” Darling , I don’t know. If you thought I was going to answer that question, think again, think McCain. LOL. Anyways, “Lord, where is he?”

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Interestingly enough, yesterday’s topic had almost a hundred reads in just one day. I received so many messages from people on Instagram, from people on WhatsApp, and many also commented on the blog. I suppose maybe that topic really resonated with a lot of people, and many genuinely wanted answers concerning it. Let’s bring more balance to the conversation today and trust that God will help and guide us all, in Jesus’ name.

So, let’s get into it: Can God really show you a spouse?We said yes. God absolutely can. Throughout Scripture, we see God involved in relationships, marriages, and divine direction. God is not silent concerning the major areas of our lives, and marriage is one of them. I took some time to study people in the Bible who got married, whether by the leading of the Spirit or simply through the ordinary process of marriage because there are also people in Scripture who simply got married, you do know that Lot was married yes? But we hear nothing of his marriage being the leading of God although he was a righteous man..Selah

When the Bible speaks about Rebekah, it says that the servant prayed a very specific prayer “Lord, let the young woman who gives me water and also gives water to my camels be the one.” Many women were coming to the well. You will see many damsels and many handsomes. Eh. God has beautiful children I’m telling you. Guys this servant arrived at the well at the exact time the women were coming out to draw water. So even right time matters otherwise he could have missed her completely.

Timing my people. So we seek God’s guidance even in the journey itself, even in timing. The Bible says Rebekah fit into that prayer because she did exactly what the servant had prayed for. I wanted to encourage people that you can still make those kinds of prayers today. Obviously, we no longer go to wells where women draw water, but there are still places where men and women of God are found.

Something else is important here. The servant observed Rebekah to determine whether the Lord had truly answered his prayer. So yes, the timing aligned. Yes, the woman did what he prayed for but now he wanted confirmation. He wanted to observe carefully whether this woman truly matched what he had prayed for. There is also a role for confirmation and observation. You want to pay attention to how a person speaks, how they treat people, how they carry themselves, their character, their spirit, and the fruit of their life.

Another thing, people of God, is that this servant did not arrive at the well and start “networking” romantically with every woman there. Can God lead you to your spouse? Yes. Can there possibly be more than one person in the world you could be compatible with? Maybe. But personally? I really don’t believe in talking to everybody at the same time because what exactly is going on there? Are we finding a spouse or hosting Joyous Celebration auditions?

The servant spoke to ONE woman. Meanwhile, the Bible literally says many women were coming out to the well. Many! Meaning options existed. Fine women existed. Beautiful, lovely personalities, glowing skin everything was there. Fine babes everywhere. Good gents all around but he remained focused. He was a man on a mission. A specific mission. Abraham told him to find “a wife” for Isaac not a wife and a side chick because guess what? The many people you entertain as you date potentially become a door for adultery later. It’s fine if you don’t believe me.

Some of you have reached that well and suddenly developed spiritual confusion. While talking to Rebekah, your eyes are already on the next woman carrying water. “Hmm… but this one also fears the Lord.” Then another one passes, “Wow… even this one prays like this!” Women you too. You cannot be speaking to five people, ten people, twenty people at the same time and still expect clarity. Ah-ah. Relax. Focus. Foooocuss.

When they finally got to the home, the servant explained to the family exactly why he had come. So he didn’t “kidnap” her, or take her to Isaac before doing the right thing. Do things the right way. Stop cutting corners. There’s no scripture that speaks about sleeping over at each other’s houses but let me leave you alone.

Now the Bible says that when the servant began explaining to Rebekah’s family why he had come, he said something very interesting in Genesis 24. He basically says, “If the family refuses to let her come, then I am released from this oath.” Because yes, the Lord may lead you. Yes, you may have confirmations you even dreamt of your wedding. She gave you water. She gave the camels water. He said this and that. She’s from Abraham’s family. The timing aligned. Fine. But if the family says no or if the person says no then that is still their choice.

People of God, God has given human beings free will. Someone can genuinely say, “I actually do not like you.” And that is okay. Rebekah’s family could have refused completely, and the servant would not have forced them. Imagine him standing there shouting, “But can’t you SEE the confirmation?!” No. He understood that people still have a choice.

Some people become very scary with this topic. “God showed me you’re my wife.” Meanwhile the person is hiding behind church chairs after service trying to avoid you. She is literally running from you. You cannot force your prophetic dream onto somebody who genuinely does not want you. Leave room for the possibility that even if God led you toward someone, that person still has the ability to say yes or no.

Some people ask, “But then why would God lead me there?” Well, think about salvation. Christ already died for the world, but people still have the choice whether to receive Him or reject Him. God leads, God reveals, God gives direction but human beings still respond with their own will. Her family was like, “Can she stay ten more days?” Meanwhile Rebekah was already mentally packed and ready to go. Sis said, “Nope, I’m going.” Honestly, I understand her completely. If it were me, I’d probably say, “Please escort me to my husband immediately.” While they are discussing I’m already waiting with the camels outside. Anyway, jokes aside.

The beautiful thing is that everything was still done properly. The process was honourable. There was agreement. There was family involvement. There were gifts given. Lobola was basically entering the chat (my uncle loves lobola negotiations btw). Eh. It’s his favourite event I think. Please don’t start saying, “God led me to you, therefore I will not pay dowry.” Ah-ah. My brother in Christ, you will pay. God bless you, but you will pay.

So yes, God can absolutely lead you to your spouse. But like I said yesterday, I want us to bring balance. The person can say no. And the person can also say yes. Okay see you tomorrow as we wrap up. You will marry don’t worry darling lol. Place your hand on your chest and say, “l will marry and l will marry well.” Amen.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Good morning, people of God! Happy Wednesday! I trust we’re all doing well and surviving the week by the grace of God… and maybe a little bit of coffee too. I’m slowly becoming the little ol’tea lady because what in the five cups is thissssss?

Sooooo today, I want us to have a very interesting conversation because whew, I’ve been hearing people talk about this topic a lot lately. Not necessarily “on the streets” but in conversations here and there, and honestly… it’s a discussion worth having. Can God show you your spouse? And if He does… what exactly are you supposed to do after that? Because some of us hear one “hello” and suddenly we are planning wedding colours by Thursday. Abegiiii 😭

Like… if God shows you someone, do you approach them immediately? Do you start praying from a distance? Do you wait? Do you tell them? Do you act mysterious? Or do you pretend you never heard anything because you’re scared of embarrassment? And also… how do you know it’s actually God and not just because the person is fine and can quote Jeremiah 29:11 with confidence? This is my personal judgement on this issue, you are free to debate it.

Okay, so personally, I do believe that God can show you your spouse. At the same time, I don’t necessarily believe in the whole “one soulmate for one person” idea like there is only one human being on earth designed for you and if you miss them, it’s over. I would cry 6hrs straight because what do you mean l missed my soul mate?

I believe there can be multiple people who align with your journey, your values, your purpose, and the life God is calling you into. So yes, God can show you someone, one of the people who fits that purpose but that doesn’t mean you now have to date all of them in the name of “l want to see if we are a fit.” I think part of why I believe God can do that comes from the story of Adam and Eve. When Adam saw Eve, there was a knowing. He immediately recognised her as someone connected to him. Now, I’m not a man, but a lot of men say they just know when they meet a woman they want to build a life with. Like, “Yeah… this is my wife.” I think women can experience that sense of knowing too.

So can God reveal someone to you? Absolutely. I believe He can. Again, you’re free to argue. Why would God show me a location to stay in, a church to go to and not show me my spouse? I’d desperately need Him to because my eye don blur. But now here’s where things become tricky… because some people will say, “God showed me my husband,” or “God showed me my wife.” Okay. Beautiful. But what happens if that person does not like you? What if they don’t know you, don’t notice you, or don’t even see you in that way?

Let’s get deliverance today. Remember all I’m saying is from a place of LOVE. Thats the bandage for those who may bleed from this. So now we have two different scenarios here.

It’s one thing for you to believe God has shown you your spouse and the other person has the same conviction too. That’s a completely different situation. When both people are aligned, both are praying, both have peace, both are intentional, beautiful, I love it & l want that for all of us. At that point, it becomes something you both pursue. But it’s a totally different scenario when you believe God showed you someone… and the other person does not feel the same way at all.

I need us to understand something very important once again there is not just one person for you. Like I said before, there are many people who can align with your purpose, values, and journey. Even when Abraham’s servant went to look for a wife for Isaac, he did not say, “Lord, show me Rebekah specifically.” No. He prayed according to character, kindness, and alignment. He said, essentially, “The woman who does ABC… let her be the one.” Rebekah, through her character and nature, fit into that prayer. Realistically speaking, if another woman with the same qualities had come, she also could have fit the assignment.

So sometimes we become too mystical and forget that wisdom, character, willingness, and mutual choice matter too. I don’t want us to be naive & ignorant to some truths. Some people will say, “God told me that’s my husband” or “That’s my wife,” and then proceed to wait TEN YEARS for somebody who has shown absolutely no interest. No conversation. No confirmation. No pursuit. Nothing. Wake up. 😭 I’m actually setting an alarm for some of you. Wake up.

I once heard a story about a woman who believed a certain man was her husband. Eventually, the man got married to someone else and had children. And she was STILL waiting, saying, “No, God told me.”My sister. Are you secretly hoping the man divorces his wife? Leaves his children? Breaks his family apart just to come and fulfil your “word”? And do we genuinely think God would orchestrate confusion and destruction like that? At some point, we have to separate discernment from obsession.

I think if someone truly believes God showed them a person, the healthiest response is not obsession, force, or waiting forever. It’s peace. You pray, you use wisdom, you allow things to unfold naturally, and you also accept reality when reality speaks. It’s also very important for us to believe that if God truly showed us something, then He is fully capable of working it out. Obviously, there still has to be willingness, effort, and alignment on both sides, like I already said.

I really want to speak lovingly to people who have waited five years, seven years, even longer… still believing for someone who has clearly moved on, is engaged, is getting married, or has built a life elsewhere. Allow yourself to move on. Otherwise, you’ll eventually find yourself in a place where you broke your own heart by refusing to accept reality. “You know what the lepers said. shall we sit here until we die?” Please don’t sit emotionally attached to a fantasy until you die. This is exactly why I keep saying: kill the idea that there is only one person for you.

I’m not encouraging entertaining every option under the sun because that can also become dangerous and open doors to confusion. Sometimes what starts as “I think God showed me someone” slowly turns into unhealthy attachment. An attachment that becomes stubborn even when there’s advice, there’s evidence, there’s proof. You can literally SEE that this man is not pursuing you. You can SEE this woman does not see you that way but because you attached spirituality to it, you refuse to let go.

I’m gonna hug you tightly as I say this, God is not going to force someone to marry you because you’re a good person. God is not going to force someone to like you because you live a holy life. Sometimes I think we unconsciously fall into this mindset of “performance for blessings.” Like
“I’ve been fasting.”
“I’ve been praying.”
“I’ve been serving in church.”
“I’ve been pure.” And because of that, we expect God to reward us with a specific person but marriage is not a trophy for spiritual performance.

Now yes, there are situations where prayer changes things. Sometimes there really is spiritual warfare. Sometimes people do grow, heal, and become aligned. That can happen but if you have prayed, fasted, surrendered, and trusted God, you should also have peace knowing that if this person is not the one, God is still able to bring another..

For some people, friendship can easily create confusion. Especially friendships between men and women. You can become emotionally close, start talking every day, laughing, sharing deep things… and suddenly your mind starts creating wedding invitations. You even know who you won’t invite. Please invite me o. I’ve been writing to you going to 3 years now, I deserve a drumstick at your wedding.

Sometimes someone is kind to you and that kindness is not romantic interest. Christians are supposed to be kind. Some people are simply living by the fruit of the Spirit. Social media makes this even worse because now someone likes your stories three times and suddenly you’re on Pinterest , “show me rings.” 🤣🤣 your heartbreak is stewing.

Learn that not every emotional connection is romantic. Not every one who is your ideal spouse is your real spouse. Not every kind person is your spouse. Whew ..this conversation is getting interesting. We definitely need a part two tomorrow because wow. Gah gah gah. I still love you all okay? Make a cup of coffee and be soothed in Jesus Name!

Let me do altar call & win souls!

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you