Author: Vanessa Moonkie

Happy new week everyone! I pray that the Lord will give you a mindblowing testimony this week!

There’s something that destroys relationships, it is a silent killer and often not addressed as much as many other things. It’s called entitlement. What is entitlement?

The entitlement mentality is a belief or attitude that one believes he/she deserves special treatment, privileges, or rewards often without corresponding effort, responsibility, or merit. People with an entitlement mentality might think others owe them things like respect, success, or support, just because of who they are or what they’ve been through. (Selah)

Interestingly, at one point or another, we’ve all entertained an entitlement mentality. Whether we admit it or not, there was a time we felt we deserved something and were completely thrown off when we didn’t get it. Some people carry expectations into spaces where they’ve made no investment. They want reward without the work, blessings without obedience, essentially, they want freebies. And truth be told, the most entitled often have done the least to earn what they’re demanding. Then there’s the “grace entitlement” mindset among Christians. We act like we’re owed grace, living carelessly and then turning to God with bold demands: “You said You’re gracious, so give me grace!” Eh! That’s not how grace works.

Let’s talk about friendships. There are friends who feel so entitled to you, they start believing that normal rules and boundaries don’t apply to them. Ma’am, you’re wrong. Sir, you’re very wrong. Let’s put it this way: if I walk into Pick n Pay and my friend owns the store, does that automatically mean I get bread for free? If they offer, sure. But do I just load up a trolley and walk out saying, “It’s fine, I know the owner”? Absolutely not. That’s not friendship, that’s entitlement. Oh, shall I shake the table a little bit more?

Your pastor may have been called by God to shepherd and serve you, but that doesn’t mean he’s obligated to answer your call every time you ring. Sometimes the man of God is praying, resting, or simply unavailable, and yet you get so offended when he doesn’t respond. But let’s be honest when your own family calls you at 3 a.m., you don’t always pick up either! This entitlement mindset has silently ruined so many beautiful relationships and opportunities. It’s a silent killer. And the tricky part? Some people never say it out loud, but deep down, they believe they deserve the front seat even if everyone else is standing.

“People must.” “Indoda (a man) must.” “A woman must.” These phrases reveal a dangerous mindset, one where we’ve crafted our own expectations and demand that others live up to them, no matter what. It’s an illusion of control rooted in entitlement. Left unchecked, this attitude breeds resentment, bitterness, and even hatred. Oh yes! It might wear the mask of “I know my worth,” but what’s really being said is, “You owe me something I’m not sure what, but you owe me.” That’s not confidence; that’s selfishness.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

No one is obligated to do what you should be doing for yourself not even your parents. Placing demands on people that come from your own unmet responsibilities can push them away, not bring them closer. Don’t let entitlement cost you the very relationships God gave you to steward with love and grace. I know this post may offend some people but it’s fine, healing is there in Christ.

Don’t create your own expectations and expect people to just jump in and flow with you. Life doesn’t work that way. And if you’ve been dealing with people like that, I want you to know it’s not that you’re not doing your best. The problem is, your best isn’t their best, and until you give them what they think they deserve, they’ll keep rejecting you. Some people want to be pleased, but they have zero regard for what it actually costs to please them.

Don’t wear yourself out trying to meet impossible standards. The truth is, you can’t serve everyone the way they want to be served all the time. It’s not sustainable and it’s not your job. Those who know the kitchen shouldn’t be throwing tantrums about being hungry. I’ll say this again: entitlement mentality will rob you of good, good people. The kind-hearted, the generous, the patient ones; entitlement pushes them away. Why? Because nobody “SHOULD” do anything for you unless you’re paying them, lol. People MAY help you, love you, support you and that shift in language will save you a lot of heartache in life. Learn to see kindness as a gift, not a right. Gratitude opens doors, but entitlement? It shuts and even puts a lock on them.

Have a great day! ❤️

I’ve often struggled to celebrate my own achievements. No matter how hard I work or how significant the accomplishment, I tend to brush it off like it’s nothing. I could pass a difficult exam and barely acknowledge it, but the moment something goes wrong, I’m the first to criticise myself.Now, don’t get me wrong I’m deeply grateful to God for everything. My issue isn’t a lack of gratitude; it’s a lack of self-appreciation. l will tell you why it’s important to celebrate yourself . Keep reading!

Low self-esteem often stems from two sources: what others have told you and what you’ve told yourself. It’s shaped by external standards and internal expectations what people define as success and what we believe is enough.

David declared, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). His praise was in place, but the real challenge for many of us isn’t praising God it’s believing what He says about us. If I struggle to see myself as fearfully and wonderfully made, then even in my gratitude, I may still undermine my worth.

When you look at your accomplishments and dismiss them as insignificant, you’re not just being “humble” , you’re downplaying God’s hand in your life. Every victory, every completed task, is evidence of His grace and strength in you. So, take a moment. What did you accomplish this week? What task did you complete? Say this with me: “I praise You, Lord, because I managed to accomplish this! I am a star!”

If we truly saw ourselves the way God sees us, depression wouldn’t stand a chance. It wouldn’t even get the chance to knock on your door. So why do you constantly diminish yourself? Why do you believe there’s nothing beautiful about you? Who told you that you were naked? I want you to pause and reflect on this past week. What have you accomplished? What have you pushed through? Now, I want you to praise God for it and I want you to celebrate yourself.

It’s not wrong to treat yourself. My niece taught me this: loving and spoiling yourself is okay. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying a caramel ice cream after a long day (caramel is my favourite, by the way!). Don’t feel bad about buying yourself those shoes just maybe not every week, because, well, wisdom.

And for the love of God, stop rejecting compliments! If someone tells you, “You’re beautiful!” don’t respond with, “Ah really? Haha, that’s not true. A monkey like me?” If I catch you saying that…!

Remember, your confidence is only as strong as your perception of yourself. And no, I’m not talking about pride. Some people think rejecting compliments makes them humble , not so, my lord! (lol). You’ve just gotten used to rejecting good things, and somehow, you believe that’s the right thing to do. But it’s not.

“But I didn’t do anything this week!”

Yes, you did. You lived. You pushed through. You didn’t give up. There’s always something worth acknowledging. Anyway, I’m currently thinking about caramel ice cream, so I have nothing else to write. See you on Monday.

🩷🌸And hey, you’re beautiful! You’re handsome! 🌸🩷