Author: Vanessa Moonkie

Interview with Zinhle

Question: Can you share a bit about your childhood and the circumstances that led to growing up without a mother?

Answer: At the age of 4years , mom chose relationship over her own biological kids. She left and never looked back and sadly in the process my dad passed away as he was the only parent standing. The Queen who adopted me stepped in and she tried to fill up that motherly gap but still there was that void in me that longed for that motherly love that I never had to experience. Back then I couldn’t understand why I had to go through unfavourable conditions.

Question: How did not having a present mother affect your upbringing?

Answer: It affected me big time. I believe I was robbed a beautiful childhood because I was longing that one day I might be reunited with that one person who had became a stranger. I remember some days I will see some women passing and think what if that person is my mom. I had lots of questions on why was I brought in this planet to face rejection. It took me a while to find a sense of belonging, as many kids would be talking about their experiences with their moms and I had nothing to share.

Question: Who were the significant figures or role models in your life during your childhood?

Answer: My Aunty the beautiful Queen who had to take care of me during the last days of my father’s life. She raised me well and I will be forever indebted to her. She taught me Ubuntu, kindness and Hard-work. She laid out the good foundation. She is my role model, from her I learnt that we are here on this planet to serve and kindness is something that can be learned.

Question: How did your faith play a role in helping you cope with the absence of your mother?

Answer: During my teenage years it affected my faith because I believed that God had His own favourites but now that I’m surrounded with many believers I now see it as a blessing and I believe that everything happened for a good reason which God foresaw from the beginning. I love the book of Jeremiah where it says I Knew You before you were born, what I draw from this scripture it shifts the whole atmosphere and it changes everything about how I had perceived myself.

Question: What challenges did you face growing up without a mother?

Answer: Trying to fit in one was of the challenges I faced. Growing up I had to lie always about the whereabouts of her and at times I would say she passed away instead of answering questions which I didn’t have answers for. I had to pretend like all was well but deep down there was that child in me screaming for answers.

Question: In what ways did other women in your life, such as relatives or mentors, influence your spiritual and personal growth?

Answer: Women in my life have played a Huge role in my influence, spiritual journey and my personal growth, they made it easier for me to walk boldly In this beautiful journey called life. From my surrounds I get to learn that you cannot do this life thing in isolation you need a community that will cheer you up or that will pull you up when you are down as like if full of difference phases that we get to experience.

Question: Were there any particular Bible verses, Christian teachings, or church experiences that brought you comfort?

Answer: For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘” — Jeremiah 29:11.
This scripture was the answer to the thousands questions I had. I found comfort in the promises of God.

Question: Did you ever question your faith due to the absence of your mother, and how did you reconcile those feelings?

Answer: yes countless times, I guess my faith was tested and dwelling in the word of God changed the whole narrative.

Question: What advice would you give to others who are growing up without a parent, particularly a mother?

Answer: My advice will be: Remember that other things are out of your control. Trust in the Lord and allow God to lead you, and other questions will be answered in Heaven so strive by all beens to make it to heaven.

Question: Do you have moments of feeling alone, envying those with their mothers?

Answer: Yes I do believe we all experience loneliness moments, I call it rollercoaster emotions. I don’t envy anyone with a parent but I am striving to be a better mom to my daughter.

Question: Have you healed from this or does it still affect you

Answer: I believe so, for me to share it without shedding any tears. I am living in acceptance era moments.

Question: Is there anything else you'd like to share about your journey and how it has influenced your faith and life perspective?

Answer: My journey has taught be about the power of forgiveness and Faith. The First Step to Healing is Forgiving and Letting Go of anger. Forgiving others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve. Forgiveness is the final form of love. I forgive myself and set myself free.

Editor’s note

What I’ve learned from this is, be a present parent. Mothers be present. Fathers be present. It goes beyond money. Be intentional about building a relationship with your children. The average adult has childhood traumas caused by many parental factors. No man or woman is worth you abandoning your children. They will not be kids forever , the time given to you to groom them is actually very limited considering the world is already setting the standards for them. We pray for all those who have experienced neglect and rejection. The stone that the builders rejected has now become the chief cornerstone!

Fast forward to when I started my monthly period . I struggled because l had no pads so l had to use an old cloth. I started dating at a very young age so she can get food and other stuff for us. I then came to S.A to look for greener pastures . When l got here l started working as a maid. My boss was so abusive that I did not last 3 months with her. After leaving this job I began to go to church, l prayed everyday believing that God will change my life. This was my everyday prayer ;

“God please change my situation i don't want to remain poor for the rest of my life.

I had one pair of shoe (pumps) . I didn’t even have any toiletries and it really was too much for me to handle.

BUT GOD! God changed my life in a way that until today I look back and say ,”This is how far the Lord has brought me.”
Words of encouragement to anyone in that situation never stop believing. Never stop praying. There is a God in heaven who answers prayer. Looking at my life right now I see God and His mercy. I am a mother to two beautiful children and a wife to one husband, by God’s grace l am alive and well! Here’s a picture of me;

Editor’s note

May God heal every orphan from the pain of losing their parents. You are actually not an orphan. You have a Father. God loves you. I lead a prayer group called the Midnight Prayer Group , we often do outreach at orphanages. To partner with us; send us a dm by clicking the highlighted link . You can donate groceries, toiletries, uniforms, etcetera. Help someone today . ❤️

Interview with Oboitshepo Tladi

1. What does purity mean to you?

At first purity simply meant abstaining from sexual sin, but very quickly the Lord expanded and is still expanding this concept of purity to me. At the current time, purity means dedicating my entire self to the Lord. More importantly, it means keeping my heart pure. This starts by thinking purely so that I can live a life that pursues holy behaviour. In short, purity means remainingseparate from the world and being constantly ready for God’s work. 

2. Can you share a bit about your personal journey and what prompted you to start this journey?

Well, I believe my journey of purity started while I was still in high school. Around the age of 14 I made a vow to the Lord that I would wait for marriage before engaging in any sexual activity and for a while I held out but very soon after making that vow – I started dating an older guy and that vow quickly disappeared. After that came nearly 10 years of trying to find my way back to the Lord and back to the vow I made. Around the age of 23, is when I truly encountered God again and decided that I wanted to take our relationship seriously and pursue Him with all I got, without any distractions. Now I am 29 years old and I can honestly say that although the journey is challenging, giving myself back to God has been the best decision I have ever made. So I rededicated myself to my purity journey after being heartbroken and remembering that I was much safer in the hands of God than in the hands of man.

3. How did your upbringing and faith background influence your views on purity?

Lol, my upbringing and faith background influenced my views on purity in both a positive and negative way. On one side it emphasised the need to consider sex as sacred and holy – while on the other hand it made sex and everything that is related to it, seem so taboo. I think this is why at such a young age, I began experimenting because I was curious and wanted to know what this ‘thing’ was that I was supposed to stay away from. In hindsight, I thank God that my upbringing placed suchan emphasis on sexual purity because now I have a deeper appreciation for those boundaries that my faith sets up. However, I do think that if sex was brought up in a more positive light and in a more casual and open manner as I grew up, maybe I would have been less curious since all my questions and concerns would be answered through simple conversation.

4. What challenges have you faced in maintaining your commitment to purity?

I think one of the greatest challenges I have faced is the element of patience. No one really speaks on how pursuing purity goes alongside pursuing patience. It is really hard to separate the two. So we are really good at preaching about abstaining but not really good at speaking about how your journey of abstinence is going to require enormous amounts of patience. I have seen in my own life how when I tend to lack in the area ofpatience my purity also gets affected. 

5. Have you experienced any setbacks, and how did you overcome them?

I definitely have experienced some setbacks and I overcame them through this one scripture in Hebrews that constantly blows my mind. This is Hebrews 4:16AMP, it reads: 

“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].”

What I love is that this scripture clearly tells us what the plan of action should be in moments of weakness. It’s very clear that when you feel weak that is THE BEST time to run to the throne of God. When you are weak is when you are called to be the most confident whenapproaching His throne, knowing that at the feet of Jesus is where we will most definitely without a doubt receive the grace and mercy we need. So that’s how I overcome. I remind myself that in moments of weakness the Lord expects me not to hide from Him but instead to approach His throne with boldness.

6. How has your relationship with God influenced your decisions and commitment to purity?

My relationship with God is the very reason why I chose to pursue purity. Without Him it would be impossible. I need Him in order to remain on this journey. It is He who keeps me and because of this, I have noted that inseasons where I am not dedicated to seeking Him, I find that my commitment to this journey is tested the most because truly He is the one who keeps. The closer I am with Him, the easier it is to be kept by Him. The further I am from Him, the easier it is to be led by my flesh.

7. Are there specific Bible verses or teachings that have been particularly meaningful to you?

Yes, as I mentioned Hebrews 4:16 has always kept me going in times of difficulty. However, the one scripture that we are all very familiar with has also been a solid foundation for this walk. This is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 AMP:

“ Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.”

I believe that 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 is the gift that keeps on giving! it simply never gets old and it provides the very reason why it is so important for us to remain pure: WE ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

8. How do you handle conversations about purity with friends or others who may have different views?

I always try my best to encourage them to abstain from sexual sin without making them feel like I am judging them. I always try to approach the matter from a place of humility, reminding them that I understand where they are coming from and what they are going through. I remind them that it is indeed a difficult thing to walk away from but with God nothing is impossible. I maintain my stance, I remain open to their experience, without compromising my beliefs. 

9. What have been some of the most significant lessons you've learned on this journey? 

There is no purity without humility! Humility reminds you that it is the grace of God that has kept you from falling. It is not your ability nor is it your strength that has gotten you this far. A lot of Chirstian women believe that they are somehow better because of their ability to remain pure forgetting that it’s God that has empowered them do so. It’s not because they have this incredible skill of abstaining or because they are so self-controlled and obedient but instead it’s because God is gracious. Without this understanding we risk falling into the very sin we confidently claim to resist by our own strength. Pride comes before the fall, so always remember that it is God who keeps you, so rely on Him and not your ability to keep yourself.

10. What advice would you give to others who are striving to maintain purity in their lives?

Surrender your sexuality to God. Surrender your sexual desires to God. Surrender your sexual orientation to God. Surrender your sexual drive to God.

EDITORS NOTE

Family we have more to come on Part 2 of this interview. Oboitshepo was given lots of questions as this is a very important topic for us to discuss as women pursuing purity even as the body of Christ. I’m sure we have all learnt so much from Part 1 already. Now tell a friend to tell a friend that there is more … send them the links and let’s all come and learn from the wells of wisdom in these women. Happy new week. Go in thy strength!

Interview with Thandiwe Shiridzi

1. Can you share a bit about your diagnosis with fibroids and how it has impacted your life?
   
   A – “Dramatic and Exaggerating the pain, after all its just period pains and every woman go through it, once you give birth you will be normal, stop being extra.” Those are the words I heard every time I cried about period pains, during that time of the month I will be throbbing, experiencing cramps, pain in the lower abdomen, nausea, diarrhoea, bloating, headaches and vomiting. I have tried all types of medication just to numb the pain and sleep as it would be a very long day, Funny thing no medication seemed to help as I would vomit everything that is when I saw that it’s not just a period pain. When I was student, I would skip class and write sick exams during my cycle as I wouldn’t function, the problem started when I joined the labour market as I cannot be absent for four days every month. As I grew up started noticing changes in my body and my flexibly, I’m always tired, bloated and constipated. I started experiencing pains in my leg and pelvic,have pressure in my abdomen, heavy clotting periods. My cycle become 19 days which means I go to my periods twice in one month, I have been to clinic and told its normal until I decided to consult with a gynaecologist. That is when I discovered I have uterus fibroids (non-cancer muscle tumours of the uterus) which are currently 7cm and they 3 of them. Living with fibroids is challenging you must plan around your menstrual cycle and always be ready for those random spotting. First day of my periods I don’t go anywhere, due to heavy bleeding, severe pains and been bloated. Your body changes so as your moods, you deal with daily pain and discomfort. My uterus feels heavy and when I lay down flat, I can feel the lumps, we don’t have flat stomach as we want to.

2. How has your faith helped you cope with the challenges of living with this condition? 

A – It is very easy to feel like most unfortunate person on earth as this is a monthly pain, I speak healing every time and reassuring myself that God is with me, and he will surely heal me. Sometimes I question myself on what I did to deserve this but again the word of God say whatever that is true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, excellent think of such. this thinking encourages me daily that God is not a man to lie, therefore healing is my portion, and I’m healed blessed and highly favoured.

3. Were there any specific moments when you felt afraid and discouraged?

A – l recently went for my annual scan just to monitor the progress of the fibroids , the fact that they grew drastically and been told about the myomectomy procedure, really scared me. I just told my friends how my brain its playing games with me. This will be my first time going to be admitted in a hospital let alone been operated, I trust God, he didn’t brought me this far to leave me. He is Faithful

4. How do you maintain your faith and hope during difficult times related to your health?

Negative thoughts are there daily, I speak life into my situation, prayer and the word of God. Faith comes by hearing the word. I declare healing over my body. I Attend midnight prayer group participate in everything that builds my faith. I also guidance from the holy spirit after all He is a wonderful counsellor, God says cast all your burdens to him for he cares for us.

5. Are there any Bible verses or Christian teachings that provide comfort or strength to you?

Psalms 121 – The are moments where you feel so alone,depressed, tired, exhausted and defeated, when I cannot describe the pain. Then I just shout that my help doesn’t come from man but comes from the Lord who created heaven and earth, my maker, whom nothing is impossible with. This word reassures me that God is in control, just be still and know He is God.

6. What has been the most challenging aspect of living with fibroids , and how have you overcome it? 

I once posted a picture of myself and questions I got is , “ Are you pregnant, OH girl you can’t let go of yourself like that, drink this and that to reduce that tummy.  I have a baby and look way better than you.”. I recently told my supervisor about my situation the first she told me is how she can never have fibroids and how she takes care of herself.  The process starts within, you must love and accept yourself and acknowledge the situation you are facing and seek help, talking about it helps me to cope. Never been anxious about tomorrow instead praying, I’m fully aware that fibroids affect fertility at the same time children are gift from God so trying to figure out a way and overthinking affects me, so I just surrender it to God.  Daily declaration, I’m aware that removing fibroids doesn’t guarantee that they won’t come regrow again, but I speak life and declare I would never experience this again, remembering that God has given me authority, whatever I bind on earth its bound in heaven.

7. Have you found any support within your church or faith community that has been particularly helpful?

I normally don’t speak about it as seems embarrassing and very sensitive, for past months the spirit of God has been locating me, I will just be called and my out and my Pastors will be praying for me. With few people I have discussed with I get support and encouragement. Listing to testimonies of people who God has healed encourages me daily, all things are possible.

8. What advice would you give to others facing similar health challenges, especially from a faith perspective?

Prayer is important, find someone to talk to so you don’t lose courage and faith. Our help comes from the Lord. Trust In God all the time.  Speak the change you desire; your tongue has power to create and destroy.

9. Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experience dealing with fibroids ? 

Another factor that causes fibroids is hormonal imbalance, therefore change in diet is essential, research and speak about it and be open minded not everyone understands. There are other ways people shrink the fibroids ; castor oil compress I guess depending on the size and experience.

10. What scripture has been your anchor?

Isaiah 43 

Editor’s note – We agree with you by faith Thandiwe – your surgery will go well. You will come out with a testimony and we use you as a point of contact for every woman with womb problems, every sickness, virus, disease, we declare freedom by the blood of Jesus. We can’t wait to hear your testimony!! As women, let’s get checked up as much as possible, this month there are places where there’s a discount for things like Pap smear, let’s go and get our check ups 🩷