Author: Vanessa Moonkie

Typically, rejection describes an instance of a person or entity pushing something or someone away or out. Rejection isn’t always about the love of your life texting and saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” Sometimes it’s not getting into your top college, not making the team, or not getting the job. Everyday situations can lead to feelings of rejection. Some people feel rejected if nobody laughs at their jokes or family don’t remember their birthday. Leah was rejected by her husband. Someone she really hoped would love her, see her, validate her emotions, laugh with her – someone she hoped would see her for more than just a baby baker. We all desire to be accepted.

It can also come through a parent whose approval always seems to be just out of reach, a parent who decided not to be your parent after all, a spouse who comes home one day to say he no longer loves you or that he loves someone else, a friend that suddenly blindsides you with betrayal, a child who turns her back on your love, suddenly hearing news that they accepted everyone at the company except you.

Rejection hurts. Terribly. Rejection is hard. It leaves scars.We all long to be accepted. When we are accepted we feel valued. Don’t try to brush off the hurt or pretend it’s not painful. The truth is it really hurts. I’ve been rejected many times. I grew up feeling rejected in my family, maaaaany rejected cvs, rejected in the work place after giving it my all, rejected as an entrepreneur, as a girlfriend (they’re crazy) , rejected applications for visas, rejected ideas and proposals .. just a whole baggage! While any rejection can be painful, some instances of rejection may be more painful than others.

Jesus was rejected by people He came to suffer and die for. Even right now, we are still praying for souls to be won because there’s still a great number of people who reject Him. Scripture tells us that “not even his brothers believed in him” (John 7:5). Jesus’ own family rejected him as the Messiah. He said He was “without honor” in His hometown. As he hung on the cross dying, Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Think about it. Do you think Jesus had never needed or desired his Father’s love more than in that moment?

Sometime ago l was rejected by someone l had been with for a long time. I had literally built my life around the person. It broke me. I started questioning my value. My image. I had thoughts of low self esteem because l was trying to find a reason why I was rejected. I need to pause here for a moment and clarify the difference in feeling rejected and being rejected. Feeling rejected is an emotion brought on by your own insecurities, and prejudgements of other peoples actions. Feelings of rejection can be brought on completely of your own making. I have had people say about me. Well I don’t feel like Vanessa likes me so I’m not going to talk to her. All based on assumptions.

Let the rejection of people drive you to presence of the Lord. All the time l feel rejected l run to God. My place of acceptance with no judgement or a shadow of turning is in God. Forcing them to like you won’t make them actually do. Giving them more won’t change how they feel. Another paragraph? No. Let me reach out again maybe they didn’t see I called? No. Let me pay them a visit with big gifts so they finally accept me as a friend? No. Let me change myself to be what they might like? No. Stop doing too much. More babies might save my marriage? No sweetheart. If I have sex with him he’ll not keep going to other women? Nope. If I post more revealing clothes people will follow me and like me on social media? No! As man you could give your all to a girl and she uses your money to order clothes on Shein. What am l saying as we conclude this topic , find your tribe. How? By asking God to bring them

There are people who will love and accept you. Stop staying where you’re not accepted for who you are. Accepted with the big nose, accepted without billions, accepted with cellulite and pimples, accepted with the few certificates. Not everyone will accept you, as a matter of fact some instances of rejection are orchestrated by God to push us to places of purpose. The pain of rejection somehow wants us to cling to that toxic environment. Have you been feeling broken because of rejection? Pray this with me ;

Dear God, l have so much to say but sometimes l don’t know how to. I have many questions and a few answers which makes me constantly seek closure in places and in people even though l know I may never get it. I feel rejected. I feel unseen. I feel unworthy. It has made me afraid to try out new things, to step out again, to even speak up because the pain of yesterday makes me feel like the same will happen today. I know you understand how l feel and so l pray that you give me a hug today. Let me know that you are with me, you love me, you accept me. Like Hagah, l say of you, You are the God who sees me. Calm the storm raging inside my heart. People may discard me but you accept me. People may walk out but you walk in. I choose to believe that I’m being redirected to so much better. I cast this burden on you and l declare affliction will not arise the second time. In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen.

“She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭29‬:‭35‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Happy new week family. May you week be filled with testimonies! Let’s get into it.

Perhaps this time Leah had given up on winning Jacob’s affection. She shifted her focus from Jacob to God. Although previously, God had been blessing her with children, she did not acknowledge Him, just blinded by her great desire to be seen by her husband. Maybe sometimes we desire so much to be accepted that we no longer see the blessing and give glory to God . Instead, we use the blessing to feel and look important so that those who took us for granted regret it. Weaponising the blessing.

Never allow another person to determine your worth. Why? Because they are horrible at it and it is not their job. Your worth is not determined by the man who promised to give you the world and only gave you problems plus heartbreak. Double dose. Your worth is not determined by what you earn or how much you have to your name. No! Not even the girl who keeps comparing you to other men because at the moment things are not going so well. Yesterday my spiritual father said something that changed something in me, “Only God completes me” not marriage, a car, a house. This mindset will stop us from idolising people and things.

Christians need to spend less time worrying about what other people think about us and more time rejoicing in what God thinks about us. With all her three sons, Leah is complaining. She’s desperate. She’s longing to be seen and heard. She’s seeking attention. We turn blessings into opportunities to offer complaints instead of praise. What you are complaining about right now, someone is crying themselves to sleep because they really want it. Remember thus far we haven’t heard that Rachel the other sister also gave birth. You have an opportunity to go to school but you’re complaining about how you wish it had been Harvard! My dhiye! Leah you have a womb that keeps popping healthy sons, you have a husband even though he’s half present. Pause and learn to be grateful. You’re more focused on Jacob than God.

Many of us have turned blessing into acts of pity. We downplay the fact that God has shown us love and we take that which is to be a sign of Gods love to turn it into a pity show. “I know I have a new car but I’m so sad because such and such a friend didn’t congratulate me. At work nobody posted me to celebrate me.” Leah had been that person until she reached a turning point.

She must’ve realised what I’m waiting for is not coming. He’ll never love me the way I want to be loved. I think the best part of this is the birth of Judah. Judah means praise! At this point her heart somewhat accepted. Yes I have been rejected but I still have a life, I must keep living. Rejection will not steal my joy. Rejection will not silence my praise. Yes, he won’t marry you anymore but glory be to God. Oh they keep sending emails saying they’re sorry to inform you but you praise! Instead of a pity party, you switch to Judah. Stop thinking it’ll change if you keep calling more or sending more paragraphs my dhiye. Stop making excuses for them. “Oh I’m sure Jacob got busy , he’ll visit.” No he’s with Rachel. Sometimes you’re the rejected one in the friendship circle yet you’re the one who gives more, step aside.

There are people who will rejoice to have you. That’s how special you are. Don’t allow rejection to make you forget that you are a treasure too. Leah might’ve had weak eyes but she was a travailing woman. And our greatest blessings , our salvation, our redemption came from Judah’s descendant, Jesus. When you switch from bitterness to praise! Our Jesus is in the lineage of Judah. He is called the Lion of the tribe of Judah! May God use your praise to orchestrate divine favour!

So what if they rejected you!? Enough is enough. Switch to Judah!

“Haven’t you read this passage of Scripture: “ ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone;”
‭‭Mark‬ ‭12‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭29‬:‭33‬-‭34‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Hey family . I got so much feedback from yesterday’s post ,we praise God.

Leah thought Sons and daughters could make her worthy. We live in societies where the barren woman is seen as one not worthy for marriage. If she is married , relatives find a way to break it to bring in another woman who is worthy because her womb can carry children. A woman’s worth is not in her ability to give birth. No. Her worth is in Christ alone. It is through Christ that her womb will open.

We can see her Leah’s shattered hopes because each time she conceives a son with Jacob, she pins her future happiness on them. It’s as if they’re objects or a means to access Jacob’s heart. If not marital love, surely children would complete her. Leah wanted recognition from her husband. She wanted to be seen by him but he doesn’t see her. When we had the Mental Health Event I mentioned that every human being wants to be seen. Both male and female, the rich and poor, children and adults, everyone wants to be seen, acknowledged and validated. Nobody wants to feel like a nonentity or nonexistent. We all want to be where we are loved , seen and accepted.

Leah was still living in hope that though she could not attract Jacob with her beauty, she could attract him through her fertility. To some , they know they can’t attract any man using virtuous means so they attract through dressing in a certain way and doing certain things. It’s all over social media. “Dance a certain way and get the man you want.” Or “reveal a little more skin , show it to the world and have the world’s attention.” During the Ownership Conference Apostle Michael even addressed men saying ,”Some lick their lips a certain way, dress a certain way, shave their beard a certain way, not because they must want to look good but the motive is to lure women.” Why do you do what you do? Who are you doing it for? People do too much to be seen, accepted and validated. Leah gives Jacob sons but he doesn’t give her love.

Jacob was sexually intimate with Leah but emotionally and spiritually detached. A 1995 survey asked the following question: “Have you ever had sex with a woman you have actively disliked?” 58% of men answered “yes“ . I bet since then the numbers went up. Leah is desperately seeking attachment. One of the differences between men and women is that men want physical contact, women want emotional intimacy. Once you cut of the communication, the woman will feel a detachment. If you remove the physical intimacy, the man will feel a detachment. Jacob was getting what was his love language but Leah remained empty because her own cup was not filled. This is the reality of many marriages.

But what will make you feel seen? Graduating? Getting married? Will you be content when they finally say “l feel the same way too?” Will you be happier if you bought a new car and everyone sees that surely you can also do big things? Is it Many more children? Is it more money? When will we be content? When will we stop looking to people or things for completion? Some people romanticise the rejection. We speak of it so much and create a pity party atmosphere but when are we going to break out of that mindset? One person rejected you not the whole world and certainly not Jesus! Stop acting like the whole world has rejected you because of one person who didn’t even know your worth. If you don’t stop and reflect, you’ll be like Leah, her body became a tool to make her feel “worthy”. You don’t have to use your body to be seen as a worthy woman, you don’t have to use muscles or money to be seen as a worthy men. The people who truly are for you will not have you seeking validation. Rachel never had to do what Leah did. Others aren’t begging for it, they’re simply being themselves.

Rejection breeds insecurity which breed inadequacy and low self esteem which also breeds a yearning that can turn to obsession or idolising. Leah sought Jacob’s love and validation but over time she realised her worth didn’t depend on Jacob but on her relationship with God. Her journey shows us we don’t need outside the validation to show us our worth. Let them go on and choose who they want to choose, you are already chosen.

By God 💗