Author: Vanessa Moonkie

Happy new week everyone! I pray that the Lord will give you a mindblowing testimony this week!

There’s something that destroys relationships, it is a silent killer and often not addressed as much as many other things. It’s called entitlement. What is entitlement?

The entitlement mentality is a belief or attitude that one believes he/she deserves special treatment, privileges, or rewards often without corresponding effort, responsibility, or merit. People with an entitlement mentality might think others owe them things like respect, success, or support, just because of who they are or what they’ve been through. (Selah)

Interestingly, at one point or another, we’ve all entertained an entitlement mentality. Whether we admit it or not, there was a time we felt we deserved something and were completely thrown off when we didn’t get it. Some people carry expectations into spaces where they’ve made no investment. They want reward without the work, blessings without obedience, essentially, they want freebies. And truth be told, the most entitled often have done the least to earn what they’re demanding. Then there’s the “grace entitlement” mindset among Christians. We act like we’re owed grace, living carelessly and then turning to God with bold demands: “You said You’re gracious, so give me grace!” Eh! That’s not how grace works.

Let’s talk about friendships. There are friends who feel so entitled to you, they start believing that normal rules and boundaries don’t apply to them. Ma’am, you’re wrong. Sir, you’re very wrong. Let’s put it this way: if I walk into Pick n Pay and my friend owns the store, does that automatically mean I get bread for free? If they offer, sure. But do I just load up a trolley and walk out saying, “It’s fine, I know the owner”? Absolutely not. That’s not friendship, that’s entitlement. Oh, shall I shake the table a little bit more?

Your pastor may have been called by God to shepherd and serve you, but that doesn’t mean he’s obligated to answer your call every time you ring. Sometimes the man of God is praying, resting, or simply unavailable, and yet you get so offended when he doesn’t respond. But let’s be honest when your own family calls you at 3 a.m., you don’t always pick up either! This entitlement mindset has silently ruined so many beautiful relationships and opportunities. It’s a silent killer. And the tricky part? Some people never say it out loud, but deep down, they believe they deserve the front seat even if everyone else is standing.

“People must.” “Indoda (a man) must.” “A woman must.” These phrases reveal a dangerous mindset, one where we’ve crafted our own expectations and demand that others live up to them, no matter what. It’s an illusion of control rooted in entitlement. Left unchecked, this attitude breeds resentment, bitterness, and even hatred. Oh yes! It might wear the mask of “I know my worth,” but what’s really being said is, “You owe me something I’m not sure what, but you owe me.” That’s not confidence; that’s selfishness.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

No one is obligated to do what you should be doing for yourself not even your parents. Placing demands on people that come from your own unmet responsibilities can push them away, not bring them closer. Don’t let entitlement cost you the very relationships God gave you to steward with love and grace. I know this post may offend some people but it’s fine, healing is there in Christ.

Don’t create your own expectations and expect people to just jump in and flow with you. Life doesn’t work that way. And if you’ve been dealing with people like that, I want you to know it’s not that you’re not doing your best. The problem is, your best isn’t their best, and until you give them what they think they deserve, they’ll keep rejecting you. Some people want to be pleased, but they have zero regard for what it actually costs to please them.

Don’t wear yourself out trying to meet impossible standards. The truth is, you can’t serve everyone the way they want to be served all the time. It’s not sustainable and it’s not your job. Those who know the kitchen shouldn’t be throwing tantrums about being hungry. I’ll say this again: entitlement mentality will rob you of good, good people. The kind-hearted, the generous, the patient ones; entitlement pushes them away. Why? Because nobody “SHOULD” do anything for you unless you’re paying them, lol. People MAY help you, love you, support you and that shift in language will save you a lot of heartache in life. Learn to see kindness as a gift, not a right. Gratitude opens doors, but entitlement? It shuts and even puts a lock on them.

Have a great day! ❤️

I’ve often struggled to celebrate my own achievements. No matter how hard I work or how significant the accomplishment, I tend to brush it off like it’s nothing. I could pass a difficult exam and barely acknowledge it, but the moment something goes wrong, I’m the first to criticise myself.Now, don’t get me wrong I’m deeply grateful to God for everything. My issue isn’t a lack of gratitude; it’s a lack of self-appreciation. l will tell you why it’s important to celebrate yourself . Keep reading!

Low self-esteem often stems from two sources: what others have told you and what you’ve told yourself. It’s shaped by external standards and internal expectations what people define as success and what we believe is enough.

David declared, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). His praise was in place, but the real challenge for many of us isn’t praising God it’s believing what He says about us. If I struggle to see myself as fearfully and wonderfully made, then even in my gratitude, I may still undermine my worth.

When you look at your accomplishments and dismiss them as insignificant, you’re not just being “humble” , you’re downplaying God’s hand in your life. Every victory, every completed task, is evidence of His grace and strength in you. So, take a moment. What did you accomplish this week? What task did you complete? Say this with me: “I praise You, Lord, because I managed to accomplish this! I am a star!”

If we truly saw ourselves the way God sees us, depression wouldn’t stand a chance. It wouldn’t even get the chance to knock on your door. So why do you constantly diminish yourself? Why do you believe there’s nothing beautiful about you? Who told you that you were naked? I want you to pause and reflect on this past week. What have you accomplished? What have you pushed through? Now, I want you to praise God for it and I want you to celebrate yourself.

It’s not wrong to treat yourself. My niece taught me this: loving and spoiling yourself is okay. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying a caramel ice cream after a long day (caramel is my favourite, by the way!). Don’t feel bad about buying yourself those shoes just maybe not every week, because, well, wisdom.

And for the love of God, stop rejecting compliments! If someone tells you, “You’re beautiful!” don’t respond with, “Ah really? Haha, that’s not true. A monkey like me?” If I catch you saying that…!

Remember, your confidence is only as strong as your perception of yourself. And no, I’m not talking about pride. Some people think rejecting compliments makes them humble , not so, my lord! (lol). You’ve just gotten used to rejecting good things, and somehow, you believe that’s the right thing to do. But it’s not.

“But I didn’t do anything this week!”

Yes, you did. You lived. You pushed through. You didn’t give up. There’s always something worth acknowledging. Anyway, I’m currently thinking about caramel ice cream, so I have nothing else to write. See you on Monday.

🩷🌸And hey, you’re beautiful! You’re handsome! 🌸🩷

How much do you love God? Love is not stagnant or stunted , it grows. So does hate. Every feeling, every emotion, has the potential to grow. Even lust can increase. The human heart has an incredible capacity to hold and nurture emotions, no matter how vast they may be.

You might think, “Surely, God doesn’t care whether I love Him or not.” But that is incorrect and inconsistent with scripture. God deeply cares. He longs to know not only if you love Him but also how much.

Many of you are mature and have experienced romantic relationships. One thing I know for certain is that love seeks affirmation. People in relationships want to know they are loved. In fact, for some, missing an “I love you” before bed can feel like the start of World War 37. Love is a loud emotion not noisy, but loud. It demands to be known. It reveals itself.

John 3:16 doesn’t just tell us that God loved us; it gives us the full measure of His love: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” It wasn’t just love, it was the depth of that love and what it compelled Him to do. It was love in action, love to the greatest extent. So, I ask you again: How much do you love God? Not just “I love Him.” That’s not the question. How much?

It’s Worship Wednesday!

When you love someone, you take pleasure in pleasing them. You don’t just feel it you express it. You say it. You show it. You delight in telling them sweet things. So, if we claim to love God but do not worship Him if we don’t even understand what true worship is, can that love be real?

I ask you for the third time: How much do you love God? Jesus once asked Simon Peter a question: “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” (John 21:16). Today, He asks the same of you. Give Him a befitting answer, one that matches the depth of your love for Him. Worship is an act of love. Here’s a song suggestion for today

Do you ever find yourself going back? I remember when I moved to a new place, I told my niece, “One day, I’ll forget we’ve moved and end up at the old house, only realizing at the door that I don’t live there anymore.” I was so sure it would happen. But guess what? It never did.

I pass by the old house, but I never feel the urge to stop, nor have I ever absentmindedly found myself standing at that familiar door. Something in me has moved on where my body has gone, my mind has followed, and vice versa. Do you ever return to the past, even by mistake?

I often talk about Lot’s wife at least five times a year, lol. The Bible says, “Remember Lot’s wife.” But why? Because her body and mind were in conflict. Her body was leaving, but her mind wanted to return. And guess what? The mind won. The body follows where the mind goes always.

If I decide in my mind to write, my brain sends that command to my body, and my hands will pick up the device and start typing. That’s how it works. We keep returning to old, familiar doors because when we left, we never trained our minds to detach and move on. The body only follows the direction the mind has already chosen.

You’re only ever allowed to make a U-turn at specific points. You can’t just turn around on any road some roads forbid it because it would be dangerous. You could hurt yourself, other drivers, and even pedestrians.But isn’t that exactly what some of us have done? We’ve made turns where we had no business turning, and we ended up in accidents spiritually, emotionally, even physically. If only we had kept moving forward, things might have turned out differently. Imagine if Abraham had returned home after God told him to leave. “I’ll just go back. God can still use me from there!” Esquuuueze me! That’s not how obedience works! That’s not how it works AT ALL.

So, I told you that I moved to a new place, and one of the first things I got was a new set of keys. These keys don’t open the old door no matter how many times I try. Even if I attempted 20 times, the result would be the same. Eventually, the key would break, and I’d lose access to both the old and the new.

The old door has its own set of keys, and so does the new place. I can’t open the new with the old, and I can’t open the old with the new. If I return to the old place and try to use my new keys, I’m either trying to be a magician… or I’m just clowning. And here’s the thing, that old place is now occupied by new tenants. I can’t go back. It doesn’t belong to me anymore.(Leave your ex alone.)

The size 28 you wore last year doesn’t fit anymore. The shoes you wore at 7 don’t fit. So why keep going back to what was, no matter how good it was? Don’t return to Ur of the Chaldeans, Abraham. The One who called you out is leading you somewhere new. Keep following. The future is always ahead of us, never in the past. Do not return. And when you leave, leave with your body, soul, and mind. Leave altogether lol! Don’t return to that chat. Don’t return the call. See you tomorrow!❤️