Can you share the story of how you found out you were pregnant and how you felt at that moment? I found out I was pregnant on a choir tour in San Diego, I remember I was supposed to get my period on the day we arrived but they never came ; right then I knew l messed up lol. That moment for me was overwhelming, my emotions were all over the place . I just can’t explain how I felt at that time.
How did your family and friends react when you told them about your pregnancy? My family’s reaction was very calm. It’s something i never expected especially from my mom because I mean she’s a mom. I was shocked because she was very supportive together with my sister and grandmother. My friends were not judgmental . They were there for me.
What has been the most challenging part of becoming a mom at a young age? Well since I am still pregnant I would say staying at home and doing absolutely nothing is very much stressful and challenging.
Did you experience any judgment or stigma from others because of your situation? How did you deal with it? Thankfully i haven’t experienced any judgments from anyone.
What kind of support system do you have in place now (e.g., family, church, friends)? I have the most heart warming support from my family and friends.
Has this new journey affected your relationship with God? No, and i am grateful for that.
What are your hopes and dreams for the future, both for yourself and your child? I’d love to continue with my education and be able to do what’s best for me and my baby. My hope is for my child to grow up and make better decisions.
What advice would you give to other teenage moms who are struggling with their faith? Honestly there’s no greater love than God’s love. Prayer is the way!! Also surround yourself with people who believe and pray.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently? Yes. I should’ve prevented all this from happening.
How do you see God’s hand in your journey so far? I see God’s hand in my life through the people he’s brought into my journey like my family, friends, and partner. I’ve also experienced unexpected blessings and opportunities that helped me overcome the challenges of being pregnant at a young age… Even in difficult times and days I’ve felt unexplainable peace and comfort that I believe it’s God’s presence in my life..
Is there anything else you would like to share about your experience as a Christian teenage mom? I don’t have much more to share just gratitude.
What scripture or prayer has been particularly meaningful to you during this time? The book of 1samuel 17v32-50 the story of David.Trusting God with everything you’re facing and having to experience the outcome of your trust in Him. It carries me so much.
______________________________________________
Editor’s note
What a beautiful month we have had on The Yielded Center. The way people showed up to the task really made me see the importance of having people around you who believe in your dream. There are the “Here comes the dreamer people,” and there’s “I know a dreamer who can interpret this,” people. I am so grateful to each andevery lady who shared their story on this platform. We added more countries to our statistics. The number of readers we had is mindblowing!!!!! Thank you for saying yes . Thank you for allowing yourselves to change lives through your stories. This was life changing.
If you have a chance to make an impact even if it’s for a second, DO IT! Don’t hesitate. Don’t count the stars. Someone could be waiting for you to speak , for them to even find their own voice. I honour you ladies. Yielded Family, this concludes our month of Yielded Women stories and interviews. Thank you for your love, support and prayers. What’s good? You can always come back here to be encouraged. I love you always. ❤️
Hey family. My apologies for posting so so late. I am really sorry. (Yesterday we did the first part of the resilient woman , today we are onto part two. Our last post of the Yielded Women August Edition will be published tomorrow morning!
Cont … Life after my father passed away was different as in many households where the one or both parents pass away. My father was the breadwinner. The day to day obviously changes because there’s a role that was consistently played by someone and suddenly there’s a gap. We started struggling, my youngest brother had no money to write his Olevels. My mother got a job as a house helper and I got into teaching first the in rural areas and then l moved back to the city.
Tragedy struck again. My mother got sick in 1994. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. When she came home with the results, she entered the door, fell on the floor and cried and we all knew ….. Our guess was right. We had gathered at home waiting to hear what it could be. It really scared us because we had experienced the same situation with our father and we knew the end would leave us suffering. She really suffered for 3 years. When she was advised to remove one of her breasts , she also refused because people had been telling her that sometimes it’s pointless because the cancer may even move to the other breast. We went to traditional healers, to prophets to seek help but all was in vain. One of her friends advised us to see a certain man for help and that man used some water from the car battery , we didn’t know that it was acidic, it made her worse. When you’re desperate for life, you can make desperate decisions. You really do.
“Lord, it is so much better to trust in you to save me than to put my confidence in someone else.” Psalms 118:8 TPT
My mother was a strong woman. You couldn’t tell that she was sick. My sister Lynn left her husband to nurse mom. I could also , but I was working and others were outside the country. Oneday, my mother complained of sharp pain in her breast and when my sister untied the cloth we would use to cover her breast, clots and clots of blood came out. She lost a lot of blood. When we took her to the hospital, that was it. She passed away on the same date that our grandmother (her mother) died ; The 20th of April 1997. I always pray that God will protect our family from this deadly disease.
“When we live our lives within the shadow of God Most High, our secret hiding place, we will always be shielded from harm. How then could evil prevail against us or disease infect us?” Psalms 91:9-10 TPT
My first husband also passed away in 1998 but we were in separation when it happened. During that time , nobody took things like therapy serious. We just soldiered on. I was left with 3 girls and after some years, l got remarried and had two girls. I am a mother of 5 girls , 10 grandchildren and one great grandchild . I’m still waiting to have one grandchild from my last born ,Vanessa. (I wrote this by force guys 😭) Let me just encourage a woman, you can still get married even with children. Don’t look down on yourself or remove yourself from the promise of God because you had children. Even if you are old. Your person will love you like that! I was loved even with three girls , got remarried and he loved all of our children the same! They all called him “Daddy” . Unfortunately he also passed away.
In conclusion, I raised my children by faith. Fed them by faith. Groomed them and now they are grownups who can face life’s joys and obstacles knowing they stood on my shoulders. Sometimes l would sit and worry about what we would eat. How they would get to school. I lost so much, went through so much but I also gained so much. When you focus on the bad , life becomes bad. Focus on the good, life becomes good! I see myself as a hard worker. I am one. I now run my own nursery school which caters for children 3 months and above , ECDA and ECDB. Life has not always been easy. I’ve faced a lot of setbacks. As mothers / parents we will not tell you everything for fear that you will be disturbed in your hearts when we wish for you to be joyful. I still wish my husband was alive to see just how far we have come.
From childhood , to adulthood, I see how the times have changed. Young have the privilege to “talk” about things. The young people even understand things better. All in all, one thing we all have in common, we are kept by the grace of God. Had it not been for the Lord who was on our side , we would all not be here today. I am also proud of Vanessa for always trying out new things with her gifts and skills. (Weird for me to type this but ok)
This is my favourite verse to conclude ;
“For if we continue to persist in deliberate sin after we have known and received the truth, there is not another sacrifice for sin to be made for us.” Hebrews 10:26 TPT
My favourite story in the bible that has kept me all these years is from 1 King’s 17
Be blessed. —————————————-
SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW FOR OUR LAST POST ON THE YIELDED WOMEN’S EDITION. 🌸 oooooh we have something else loading !!
Today, l will be writing on behalf of my biological mother, {interview setting} This will be a two part story because getting her to do this was a struggle. Soooo …. This is her story.
My name is Anne. I was born in the 50’s at Njube Clinic eNjube [Bulawayo, Zimbabwe]. My parents were customarily married. They were rich so l went to rich people schools. My younger brother was born 11 months after me but somehow my mother managed to handle the pressure. The pressure of handling two toddlers can be too much but she did well. The problem was, I had a health problem that required me to see a doctor every month. I had fits. This made it a little hectic for me to settle in one school but I finished my O’levels at Matopo.
My late mother [Rita] was from Zimbabwe and my late father [Miguel] was from Mozambique. His Ndebele was hilarious. He often spoke Sena. We then grew up speaking both languages. I am the oldest sibling of 8 so l was deputy parent. I was extreme. Very strict. Very smart. My young ones who are now grannies and grandpa’s really had enough of me. I was beautiful. I still am but I was one of the most beautiful girls in my town. I took care of myself. Many women don’t . My children know , you must always look clean.
I still like to look very beautiful. I buy beautiful dresses, l wear my glasses almost all the time, I buy pretty earrings and I always smell good. I bath in the morning. You will not meet me looking this and that. Yes! I still value my looks. Young ladies learn this from me. No I don’t like make up , I only put eyeshadows which my daughters say I must stop, they think I’m clumsy with it. I will keep putting it. Ahhh yooo l was the most beautiful girl that time! Guys from different missions,( we used to call them missions meaning boarding schools would say , “We are looking for the most beautiful girl esizwe ngaye.” {That we have been hearing about}
We used to have competitions like teen beat and l wished to join. My father would refuse for me to enter. Though l wished, l knew I’d beat the teens , my parents were strict. My mother was a gardener. She had her garden and she would grow vegetables and spend time cultivating it. She wasn’t employed. She was devoted to church which is something that is very important for a child to see in their mother. Particularly mothers. She never missed church. Modelling that for us helped us because we know we can always count on God. Even as a family, my siblings and l, our children and grandchildren, know this. We are Christians.
My father was Self employed. His customers used to call him the first african panel beater, spray painter and welder . Wayelandwa langabe lungu. (White people came to him for business) I started putting on sunglasses and suits when l was in grade 5. Fast forward, l grew and became a woman. I had my first daughter , Brenda. At this point l had gone to nursing school. My father wanted to me to be a nurse so much so he would tell people I’m already a nurse. He was proud of me. Then my father fell sick …… he had lung cancer (Click to find out more about it)
One of his lungs had to be removed but he refused and when he decided to go ahead, it was already too late. Yayisigcwele I cancer emzimbeni (The cancer had spread to the rest of the body) He suffered greatly, we suffered too. He would cry the whole day especially at night calling us all ; saying he is in pain. He would ask us to pray to God to take him because it was unbearable. Our whole family was traumatised from that ordeal because cancer is a rough disease. During those days it was even worse because all these new medical treatments were not discovered yet. There was no google. Infact diseases like cancer were believed to be caused by witchcraft and anyone who had it would have to go see a traditional healer. Either that or you die, eventually.
Parallel to this, l left nursing. I left because of a friend. I got mixed up in drama while l was away to visit my father and so l got scared to go back and dropped out. My father was so hurt. I was too. Two cannot walk together lest they’re in agreement. Make sure where you want to go, your friends want to go there too and if not? Go alone. Don’t join groups or befriend anyone who will discourage you from getting to your destination. Go alone . I still think it contributed to my father’s death. It haunted me for years. “What if it made him worse,” The heartbreak of investing in a child and she drops out for a very silly reason. I could’ve gone back. I wasn’t pregnant or in any crime but I didn’t. Maybe deep down , I also didn’t want to. Maybe I did. In the end I didn’t become a nurse. I just came out with unqualified knowledge of medicine . Here’s a picture of me at nursing school.
My father was sick two years after his diagnosis and he eventually died on the 15th of May 1983. I was 25 and had two children Brenda and Amanda.
A whole new life started. See you on part 2. Thank you for reading my story.
———————2———————-
I don’t know if I should write editor’s note but let me just say this. It’s important to ask our parents about their past. About their lives. We have been learning from social media, from mentors, from anyone else BUT our parents. We only learn how to cook and wash but there’s so much more to learn. How to overcome pain. How to get up after making mistakes. As my mother was answering all these questions, l could sense that she was uncomfortable at first because elders don’t just open up but she eventually started responding and giving me information. Maybe all our parents need is a listening ear. Especially African parents whohave been silenced by many many things. I wish there was a program for elders to come and tell their story (Sounds like an idea for YTV) l am so glad I had the privilege to hear her story while she’s still in body and spirit because oneday, l will be back here to re read with my children. Thank you for reading guys. See you tomorrow 🩷
My name is Vanessa. People call me many names, l literally can’t even count how many names I’ve been given. Everyone’s so creative when someone’s name starts with letter V . I like to be called V of The Most High God. It’s a name l got from one of the biggest battles of my life. Infact , it was a battle to live or die. My sanity, my life, depended on a daily confession of this name. I confessed it from fear to boldness, from anxiety to health. With every confession, my mind locked in on something that I can never get over , my identity in Christ. My reference/anchor for this name is from Genesis 14:19 KJV “And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth:”
I had decided to not write anything about myself for the August blogs because I am always writing and I wanted to hear from other women but it’s very important that as the visionary of Yielded Center I also bring my story. I don’t even know why l started with the name thing but l suppose it’s because that is when my journey with God really started. I mean it started when l got saved but I think God was on a journey with me but l wasn’t walking. I wasn’t moving. I was not on the journey with Him. It took so much ; I even get chills thinking about how l got here. I will take a few seconds to clap for Holy Spirit and myself for tag teaming so well ! 🤗🌸 (l literally did it!)
I’m writing about the Yielded Woman. The one who was once very stubborn. I was a stubborn child. What I was to people, l was to God. So there’s people who are bad to people and nice to God, they are two faced. I wasn’t like that. I was one faced. God also got the same version l gave to people; stubborn , strong-willed, very hotheaded. The most worked on part of a believer is the heart and mind. If we think we are yielded and we have disconnected the heart and mind, we are joking. A big fat joke. For a believer to be flexible in the hands of God, he/she must give up their “own” mind and “own” heart and get transformed into the version that allows Holy Spirit to lead them and they actually FOLLOW.
So the year that brought me to my knees was 2020. I know many people have financial wounds from that year. Some got depression and since then they haven’t recovered. Other people are still grieving those they lost. It was a dark time but the spirit was still hovering upon us as in the book of Genesis 1. God cannot be cast out of the earth, He is the landlord ,so He was still here just like in the beginning. I found myself awake sometimes 24hrs or more because every time I tried to sleep, I saw dreadful visions. I saw knives. I saw mad people. I saw crowds of evil people seeking my life. I got insomnia, lost my appetite, had migraines daily and l had great fear. The fear crippled me that I couldn’t even go outside, if I did I’d turn so much Incase those “people” see me and chase after me. I wasn’t comfortable at home or outside. Everywhere I was, I didn’t want to be there. The day I went back to church, when the gatherings began , I remember going out during the service because l had a massive panic attack , so massive I couldn’t breathe, l didn’t like the presence of God anymore and a voice said to me , “GO OUT NOW!” I hated crowds. I told one of my brothers there to please help me pray outside. He prayed for me and the spirit left me. I went back in. The devil was after my life but the battle was breaking me to make me.
This story is quite long but I’ll just shorten it by saying , that memory stayed with me and I didn’t know that what the enemy meant for evil, God would turn it around for my good. The journey of yielding starts sometimes with trials. Ever read about Hannah? Every time she went to Shiloh she had a request – a son but she returned without a son until she yielded her womb. Yes you can yield your body parts. You can give them up to Holy Spirit. Lord have my eyes. Lord l yield my ears. In all honesty, I’m still on the journey and sometimes l find myself battling flesh vs spirit. Yielded people or yielding people must learn how to control the flesh. They must learn how to control their words, their actions, thoughts, everything. You cannot yield when you cannot surrender. It doesn’t work like that.
“Let me emphasize this: As you yield to the dynamic life and power of the Holy Spirit, you will abandon the cravings of your self-life.” Galatians 5:16 TPT
The vision of The Yielded Center is simple; it is to teach people how to live a spirit led life. We are all in the class. I even repeat classes because I fail sometimes but yielding also means accepting correction and not running away. Accept it and stay to learn more and become better. There’s so much God wants to do in the life of a yielded woman. Deborah yielded. Mary yielded. I already mentioned Hannah. Manoah’s wife. The fav for singles – Ruth. Rebekah too. When you surrender to God there’s no need to war for somethings because they’re given to the yielded. There’s a package only given to the yielded. There’s money for the yielded because God can trust that you’ll not go club hopping with His money. I have so much to say 🥹 but we will break it down next week when we are back with our usual yielded blogs.
The yielded woman - A woman already surrendered to God. She may make mistakes but she is Dead to self and only living for God.
The yielding woman - the one who is on the journey. Still doubts and changes her mind often; Stumbles here and there but is actively participating and walking with Holy Spirit to become
The woman - the one who is just living for themselves. They care nothing about Holy Spirit or transformation. You cannot be this woman. Refuse it.
In closing, the journey doesn’t end. Even in heaven. Adam and Eve were to yield even in Eden. If you will be with us in heaven, start learning this now so that you don’t Eve us later. I hope this has helped you to understand somethings. The crushing times are producing a better you. Don’t give up. When you make a mistake arise again. Take correction . Don’t make it hard for yourself, ask Holy Spirit for help. Have conversations with Him. Above all, be flexible. I love you. Thank you for reading. 🩷
Hey family. I love you. Are you okay? How’s your heart? How’s your mind? Let’s reflect together. Here’s the mirror.
This is many of us right now. The first thing you see when you look into the mirror is “oh I’ve many pimples,” or “l don’t have the perfect nose,” or maybe “I wish I looked like this or that,” we focus on what we could’ve been more than what we are or what is. The Apple is whole. Looks beautiful and instead of seeing that in the mirror , the reflection is that of an ugly Apple, eaten up (whoever ate that apple was fighting – maybe it’s Eve). But what if I told you that’s many of us right now. Looking at our selves all we see is the bad so much so that even the good doesn’t look so good anymore. Do you see the you that has done his/her best or do you only see the failure?
Do you ever reflect on the good things? Do you ever sit and think about the battles you’ve won? The good decisions you made? The awards you won or the achievements you’ve had thus far? The small and big wins like finishing school? Buying your car? Like keeping yourself holy even when the flesh is screaming for attention? Do we ever look back and say , “Vanessa I’m proud of you?!” Say it to yourself. Don’t rush it. Say it slowly . Intentionally. Loud if you want to!
One of the causes of depression and anxiety especially in the last months of the year is that people only choose to reflect on what hasn’t been done. As much as that is important to realign us with purpose ; when are we going to also celebrate what needs to be celebrated? I looked at my vision board for 2024 and my darling , 70% hasn’t been done. Most of it is literally beyond my control. I had two days of sitting in the dust thinking about my age, the remaining months, what I’ve done with the sermons my Apostle has taught and that I’ve heard all year , I cried. I encouraged others but I was discouraged but on the flip side – man I’m proud of myself!
Celebrating your small wins doesn’t mean we’re encouraging smallness – always remember that excellence is also achieved by falling, stumbling, learning and rising up! Think about it – you got the certificate. You paid the rent. You bought the house. Things you didn’t or couldn’t do in 2023 you did them. I’m reflecting even on Yielded Blogs ! Every win must be celebrated! I celebrate the fact that people take their precious time to read these blogs, do you know how many “unread” messages people have on their WhatsApp?
I’m proud of you. Tired but showing up. Not sure how things will happen but still praying! What a game changer! What a boss! I don’t care what the devil has been telling you but I’m here to remind you, it’s not all bad. Step back and re-center if you ever find yourself overthinking and beating yourself up over things that went wrong. The point of introspection isn’t judgment and condemnation. I’ve a couple of questions that I want us to answer ;
List 10 things that you have achieved this year (even if it’s as “small” as getting a free online certificate) clap for yourself .
Say I’m proud of myself 5 times! (I said 5 not 2)
What words do you need to hear the most right now? Now open your mouth, say them to yourself. If you always wait for people to clap for you , you may have to wait a long long time.
Post a picture of yourself and write this caption , l can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You can tag me on Instagram or yielded tv.
What 10 words would you use to describe yourself? (eg I’m beautiful; I’m hardworking)
Revisit your vision board and do some declarations and prayer .
Pity parties don’t help anyone. Even the bible talks about how David would encourage himself in the Lord. “My friends are like this and that!” But how are you to yourself? Before looking at expectations from others, do you value you? Do you look in the mirror and see the positive or does someone have to keep reminding you ? Remember, fix the negatives and work hard but also identify the positives and celebrate!! You are not where you used to be!
See you on Monday with our last 4 blogs of the women’s month after which we will be back with our Yielded Blogs. Have a beautiful weekend!
“Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” Psalms 126:6 NIV
Hello family. My apologies for posting late today. Today we’re continuing with our Journey to Purity Interview with Sistwr Oboitshepo Tladi . Since it’s chilled Thursday , you can get your coffee/tea and let’s learn together!
11. How do you stay encouraged and motivated in your commitment, especially during difficult times?
I remind myself that God’s will is always the safest place to be!So I would rather face difficulty while being in the will of God- then face difficulty outside of the will of God.
12. Are there any misconceptions about purity that you would like to address?
Purity is not about suppressing or ignoring sexual desires – it is about redirecting them and using that energy to honour God. It’s about recognising that the Lord has given you the gift of your body and the desires that come with it. These desires are not inherently evil, so I tend to remind myself that what my body feels is not the sin, instead what I choose to do with those feelings is what can either honour God or dishonour Him. For example, in the beginning of my faith journey whenever I would feel tempted, I would choose to either paint or go out for a walk. We can choose to redirect the pint up energy through being artistic or being physically active. Release the energy! Purity is a mental journey as much as it is a spiritual one.
13. What’s your take on purity rings? Are they biblical? Do they help in maintaining your purity walk? If so, in what ways?
Uhmm I am not against purity rings, I believe to some extent they are biblical. We see in the Old Testament that people were encouraged to write down the laws and precepts of God on their forearms using bands, ondoorposts and even on their gates (see Deuteronomy 6:6-9). They were encouraged to use these everyday objects as reminders of God’s word. So, if someone feels like having a purity ring is the best way to keep themselves accountable, since it stands as a reminder then I think they should totally go for it. I think purity rings and purity necklaces are a good step in the right direction. They can stand as a constant reminder of our call to purity.
Deutoronomy 6:6-9 NIV
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
14. What’s the difference between purity and holiness?
Holiness is what God gives to us and in turnpurity is what we give to Him.
15. Does celibacy equate to purity?
Nope! Not at all. Many religions and practices promote celibacy. The ability to abstain from sexual activity does not make us sexually pure at all. However, our celibacy as Christians turns into a pursuit of purity once we do it in order to obey God, separate ourselves from the world, allow the Lord to cleanse our hearts, and create an environment within us that the Holy Spirit can dwell.
16. How do we as believers overcome temptations and urges that seem to be too strong?
The best advice I can give someone who is struggling with a strong temptation is:
A) Be devoted to prayer and spending time in the presence of God
B) Be honest and tell the Lord exactly what you need and exactly what you are struggling with.
I remember in the beginning of my journey, when I decided to take this walk seriously, I decided to keep it real with God. I would tell God that I am struggling with sexual sin because quite frankly I enjoy it, however the consequences of it are heartbreaking. I told God just how weak I felt in this area and then asked Him to show me why I should walk away from this sin. I asked Him to give me a deeper understanding of just how defiling porn, masturbation, and fornication was.
I believe the Lord honoured this prayer because it was honest and raw. So keep it real with the Lord. Tell Him that you desperately need His grace and His help in this area. He hears the cries of His children.
17. If one struggles with an impure desire how do they break free from that? Is there a need for deliverance?
There is always a need for deliverance, I say this because I believe that the process of sanctification is truly never ending. However, if there is an issue of impure desires, chances are there is a need fordeliverance but on the other hand it is possible that it is an issue of learning how to renew the mind and resist the enemy. I am also a firm believer in praying for yourself. A lot of the deliverance I received was from taking time to fast, to pray, and to seek God for myself. I believe that God Himself can encounter us and deliver us all we need to do is position ourselves for it.
18. Is anyone exempted from the journey to purity?
This is a journey we are all called to, whether young or old, single or married. We are all called to sexual purity and moral purity. So, no one is exempt. We are called to pursue purity and honor God with our lives.
19. Why is it called the journey to purity ? Can’t we just find ourselves there once we receive Jesus?
I call it a journey to purity because it is a journey. As I said before, the process of sanctification is a never ending one. I believe that to be true for purity as well. The Lord is constantly working on us and cleansing us and conforming us to the image of His Son. It is only when we cross over into eternal glory that we will finally be able to say that we are as pure and perfect as Jesus is. But as long as we are still on the earth, it remains a journey. There are moments of this process where the Lord is dealing with what we do with our bodies, thenthere are moments He begins to deal with the posture of our hearts and thoughts, and then He goes on to deal with our characters and then there are seasons where He is dealing with our speech– and this is a process that goes on and on. We mature and we learn that purity is layered and therefore a journey.
20. The world mocks the church for its purity, what advice would you give to someone who is going through peer pressure from friends , family, coworkers to engage in some activities that are not in accordance to scripture?
Disregard the shame! Make an intentional decision to ignore it! There is a reward in disregarding the shame of the world. They know not what they do.
21. Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experiences and how they have shaped your faith and life?
I have come to learn that a purity journey that does not acknowledge the goodness of sex and sexuality is an incomplete one. As I said, SEXUAL PURITY IS NOT ABOUT SUPPRESSING YOUR DESIRES, IT’S ABOUT REDIRECTING THEM! And practicing this has helped me a lot.
What does this mean? It means allowing the Lord to not only strengthen our self-control but also allowing Him to renew our language and mindset around our sexuality and sexual desires.
Most of the time when we are on this journey, we tend to have so much guilt attached to our past that when our bodies respond in some kind of way, we immediately dub it as sin. However, I want us to instead consider that maybe you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, simply because it’s normal to feel that way. It’s not because it is some spiritual attack of any kind or because you haven’t received deliverance, but simply because you are a human having a human experience. Now, I am in no way saying that the enemy does not attack us in this way, because we all know that he does BUT I want to put an end to us being silenced and condemned for feelings and emotions that are completely normal and okay. If we don’t do this, we’ll find ourselves going around in circles with the enemy, trying to fight a battle that has already been won!
Part of this journey to purity is about changing the narrative and realising the beauty and goodness of sex and even our sexual desires. There is a freedom we receive when we recognise these feelings as part of Gods purpose for our lives, which we will one day understand and explore in marriage. When we approach our sexualities in this manner, freely and openly offering it to the Lord, the enemy loses power, because he only holds power the longer he is able to contaminate and pervert what is good and holy.
I want to suggest that the next time you feel some kind of way, instead of assuming that it is an attack on your purity or before you start feeling guilty and sinful – get into prayer but change the narrative:
“Jesus, I thank you that the way I am feeling is not sinful or dirty. My body is functioning the way you have designed it. Feeling aroused is not a sin, the sin is what I do with those feelings, and I am choosing to redirect them and speak to You, oh Lord. I pray that if the enemy is trying to open any door of sin or temptation through this feeling, I shut that door in Jesus’ Mighty name, but I come out of any type of guilt or condemnation the enemy wants to attach to me. I also repent for any thought ordoor I may have opened. I dedicate my sexual desires and feelings to you because they belong to You, they are good and are given to me by You! I will honor You with them! Thank You for giving me the spirit of self-discipline and self-control. AMEN!”
Question: Can you share a bit about your childhood and the circumstances that led to growing up without a mother?
Answer: At the age of 4years , mom chose relationship over her own biological kids. She left and never looked back and sadly in the process my dad passed away as he was the only parent standing. The Queen who adopted me stepped in and she tried to fill up that motherly gap but still there was that void in me that longed for that motherly love that I never had to experience. Back then I couldn’t understand why I had to go through unfavourable conditions.
Question: How did not having a present mother affect your upbringing?
Answer: It affected me big time. I believe I was robbed a beautiful childhood because I was longing that one day I might be reunited with that one person who had became a stranger. I remember some days I will see some women passing and think what if that person is my mom. I had lots of questions on why was I brought in this planet to face rejection. It took me a while to find a sense of belonging, as many kids would be talking about their experiences with their moms and I had nothing to share.
Question: Who were the significant figures or role models in your life during your childhood?
Answer: My Aunty the beautiful Queen who had to take care of me during the last days of my father’s life. She raised me well and I will be forever indebted to her. She taught me Ubuntu, kindness and Hard-work. She laid out the good foundation. She is my role model, from her I learnt that we are here on this planet to serve and kindness is something that can be learned.
Question: How did your faith play a role in helping you cope with the absence of your mother?
Answer: During my teenage years it affected my faith because I believed that God had His own favourites but now that I’m surrounded with many believers I now see it as a blessing and I believe that everything happened for a good reason which God foresaw from the beginning. I love the book of Jeremiah where it says I Knew You before you were born, what I draw from this scripture it shifts the whole atmosphere and it changes everything about how I had perceived myself.
Question: What challenges did you face growing up without a mother?
Answer: Trying to fit in one was of the challenges I faced. Growing up I had to lie always about the whereabouts of her and at times I would say she passed away instead of answering questions which I didn’t have answers for. I had to pretend like all was well but deep down there was that child in me screaming for answers.
Question: In what ways did other women in your life, such as relatives or mentors, influence your spiritual and personal growth?
Answer: Women in my life have played a Huge role in my influence, spiritual journey and my personal growth, they made it easier for me to walk boldly In this beautiful journey called life. From my surrounds I get to learn that you cannot do this life thing in isolation you need a community that will cheer you up or that will pull you up when you are down as like if full of difference phases that we get to experience.
Question: Were there any particular Bible verses, Christian teachings, or church experiences that brought you comfort?
Answer: For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘” — Jeremiah 29:11. This scripture was the answer to the thousands questions I had. I found comfort in the promises of God.
Question: Did you ever question your faith due to the absence of your mother, and how did you reconcile those feelings?
Answer: yes countless times, I guess my faith was tested and dwelling in the word of God changed the whole narrative.
Question: What advice would you give to others who are growing up without a parent, particularly a mother?
Answer: My advice will be: Remember that other things are out of your control. Trust in the Lord and allow God to lead you, and other questions will be answered in Heaven so strive by all beens to make it to heaven.
Question: Do you have moments of feeling alone, envying those with their mothers?
Answer: Yes I do believe we all experience loneliness moments, I call it rollercoaster emotions. I don’t envy anyone with a parent but I am striving to be a better mom to my daughter.
Question: Have you healed from this or does it still affect you
Answer: I believe so, for me to share it without shedding any tears. I am living in acceptance era moments.
Question: Is there anything else you'd like to share about your journey and how it has influenced your faith and life perspective?
Answer: My journey has taught be about the power of forgiveness and Faith. The First Step to Healing is Forgiving and Letting Go of anger. Forgiving others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve. Forgiveness is the final form of love. I forgive myself and set myself free.
Editor’s note
What I’ve learned from this is, be a present parent. Mothers be present. Fathers be present. It goes beyond money. Be intentional about building a relationship with your children. The average adult has childhood traumas caused by many parental factors. No man or woman is worth you abandoning your children. They will not be kids forever , the time given to you to groom them is actually very limited considering the world is already setting the standards for them. We pray for all those who have experienced neglect and rejection. The stone that the builders rejected has now become the chief cornerstone!
My name is Ayanda Horonga, I’m sharing about my life as an orphan . Firstly, I wanna start by saying losing both parents is not easy. It is very painful. My father passed away when I was 1 year old. My mother followed when I was in grade 3. From that year everything changed, there was no one to care for me it was a matter of either you go and hustle for food or you go to bed with an empty stomach. I began to go around asking for food at times eating in the bin or stealing . I had to go to school with no food. The fees was not paid so they would chase me back home. Many times l would cry calling my mother asking why she had to leave me in a cruel world like this…At times my brother would go hustle for food from morning till 10 to 11pm, we would have to wait for him to eat… We often bathed with no soap just water only. The life of an orphan.
Fast forward to when I started my monthly period . I struggled because l had no pads so l had to use an old cloth. I started dating at a very young age so she can get food and other stuff for us. I then came to S.A to look for greener pastures . When l got here l started working as a maid. My boss was so abusive that I did not last 3 months with her. After leaving this job I began to go to church, l prayed everyday believing that God will change my life. This was my everyday prayer ;
“God please change my situation i don't want to remain poor for the rest of my life.
I had one pair of shoe (pumps) . I didn’t even have any toiletries and it really was too much for me to handle.
BUT GOD! God changed my life in a way that until today I look back and say ,”This is how far the Lord has brought me.” Words of encouragement to anyone in that situation never stop believing. Never stop praying. There is a God in heaven who answers prayer. Looking at my life right now I see God and His mercy. I am a mother to two beautiful children and a wife to one husband, by God’s grace l am alive and well! Here’s a picture of me;
Editor’s note
May God heal every orphan from the pain of losing their parents. You are actually not an orphan. You have a Father. God loves you. I lead a prayer group called the Midnight Prayer Group , we often do outreach at orphanages. To partner with us; send us a dm by clicking the highlighted link . You can donate groceries, toiletries, uniforms, etcetera. Help someone today . ❤️
At first purity simply meant abstaining from sexual sin, but very quickly the Lord expanded and is still expanding this concept of purity to me. At the current time, purity meansdedicating my entire self to the Lord. More importantly, it means keeping my heart pure. This starts by thinking purely so that I can live a life that pursues holy behaviour. In short, purity meansremainingseparate from the world and being constantly ready for God’s work.
2. Can you share a bit about your personal journey and what prompted you to start this journey?
Well, I believe my journey of purity started while I was still in high school. Around the age of 14 I made a vow to the Lord that I would wait for marriage before engaging in any sexual activity and for a while I held out but very soon after making that vow – I started dating an older guy and that vow quickly disappeared. After that came nearly 10 years of trying to find my way back to the Lord and back to the vow I made. Around the age of 23, is when I truly encountered God again and decided that I wanted to take our relationship seriously and pursue Him with all I got, without any distractions. Now I am 29 years old and I can honestly say that although the journey is challenging, giving myself back to God has been the best decision I have ever made. So I rededicated myself to my purity journey after being heartbroken and remembering that I was much safer in the hands of God than in the hands of man.
3. How did your upbringing and faith background influence your views on purity?
Lol, my upbringing and faith background influenced my views on purity in both a positive and negative way. On one side it emphasised the need to consider sex as sacred and holy – while on the other hand it made sex and everything that is related to it, seem so taboo. I think this is why at such a young age, I began experimenting because I was curious and wanted to know what this ‘thing’ was that I was supposed to stay away from. In hindsight, I thank God that my upbringing placed suchan emphasis on sexual purity because now I have a deeper appreciation for those boundaries that my faith sets up. However, I do think that if sex was brought up in a more positive light and in a more casual and open manner as I grew up, maybe I would have been less curious since all my questions and concerns would be answered through simple conversation.
4. What challenges have you faced in maintaining your commitment to purity?
I think one of the greatest challenges I have faced is the element of patience. No one really speaks on how pursuing purity goes alongside pursuing patience. It is really hard to separate the two. So we are really good at preaching about abstaining but not really good at speaking about how your journey of abstinence is going to require enormous amounts of patience. I have seen in my own life how when I tend to lack in the area ofpatience my purity also gets affected.
5. Have you experienced any setbacks, and how did you overcome them?
I definitely have experienced some setbacks and I overcame them through this one scripture in Hebrews that constantly blows my mind. This is Hebrews 4:16AMP, it reads:
“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].”
What I love is that this scripture clearly tells us what the plan of action should be in moments of weakness. It’s very clear that when you feel weakthat is THE BEST time to run to the throne of God. When you are weak is when you are called to be the most confident whenapproaching His throne, knowing that at the feet of Jesus is where we will most definitely without a doubtreceive the grace and mercy we need. So that’s how I overcome. I remind myself that in moments of weakness the Lord expects me not to hide from Him but instead to approach His throne with boldness.
6. How has your relationship with God influenced your decisions and commitment to purity?
My relationship with God is the very reason why I chose to pursue purity. Without Him it would be impossible. I need Him in order to remain on this journey. It is He who keeps me and because of this, I have noted that inseasons where I am not dedicated to seeking Him, I find that my commitment to this journey is tested the most because truly He is the one who keeps. The closer I am with Him, the easier it is to be kept by Him. The further I am from Him, the easier it is to be led by my flesh.
7. Are there specific Bible verses or teachings that have been particularly meaningful to you?
Yes, as I mentioned Hebrews 4:16 has always kept me going in times of difficulty. However, the one scripture that we are all very familiar with has also been a solid foundation for this walk. This is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 AMP:
“Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.”
I believe that 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 is the gift that keeps on giving!it simply never gets old and it provides the very reason why it is so important for us to remain pure: WE ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
8. How do you handle conversations about purity with friends or others who may have different views?
I always try my best to encourage them to abstain from sexual sin without making them feel like I am judging them. I always try to approach the matter from a place of humility, reminding them that I understand where they are coming from and what they are going through. I remind them that it is indeed a difficult thing to walk away from but with God nothing is impossible. I maintain my stance, I remain open to their experience, without compromising my beliefs.
9. What have been some of the most significant lessons you've learned on this journey?
There is no purity without humility! Humility reminds you that it is the grace of God that has kept you from falling. It is not your ability nor is it your strength that has gotten you this far. A lot of Chirstian women believe that they are somehow better because of their ability to remain pure forgetting that it’s God that has empowered them do so. It’s not because they have this incredible skill of abstaining or because they are so self-controlled and obedient but instead it’s because God is gracious. Without this understanding we risk falling into the very sin we confidently claim to resist by our own strength. Pride comes before the fall, so always remember that it is God who keeps you, so rely on Him and not your ability to keep yourself.
10. What advice would you give to others who are striving to maintain purity in their lives?
Surrender your sexuality to God. Surrender your sexual desires to God. Surrender your sexual orientation to God. Surrender your sexual drive to God.
EDITORS NOTE
Family we have more to come on Part 2 of this interview. Oboitshepo was given lots of questions as this is a very important topic for us to discuss as women pursuing purity even as the body of Christ. I’m sure we have all learnt so much from Part 1 already. Now tell a friend to tell a friend that there is more … send them the links and let’s all come and learn from the wells of wisdom in these women. Happy new week. Go in thy strength!
Can you share a bit about your diagnosis with fibroids and how it has impacted your life?
A – “Dramatic and Exaggerating the pain, after all its just period pains and every woman go through it, once you give birth you will be normal, stop being extra.” Those are the words I heard every time I cried about period pains, during that time of the month I will be throbbing, experiencing cramps, pain in the lower abdomen, nausea, diarrhoea, bloating, headaches and vomiting. I have tried all types of medication just to numb the pain and sleep as it would be a very long day, Funny thing no medication seemed to help as I would vomit everything that is when I saw that it’s not just a period pain. When I was student, I would skip class and write sick exams during my cycle as I wouldn’t function, the problem started when I joined the labour market as I cannot be absent for four days every month. As I grew up started noticing changes in my body and my flexibly, I’m always tired, bloated and constipated. I started experiencing pains in my leg and pelvic,have pressure in my abdomen, heavy clotting periods. My cycle become 19 days which means I go to my periods twice in one month, I have been to clinic and told its normal until I decided to consult with a gynaecologist. That is when I discovered I have uterus fibroids (non-cancer muscle tumours of the uterus) which are currently 7cm and they 3 of them. Living with fibroids is challenging you must plan around your menstrual cycle and always be ready for those random spotting. First day of my periods I don’t go anywhere, due to heavy bleeding, severe pains and been bloated. Your body changes so as your moods, you deal with daily pain and discomfort. My uterus feels heavy and when I lay down flat, I can feel the lumps, we don’t have flat stomach as we want to.
2. How has your faith helped you cope with the challenges of living with this condition?
A – It is very easy to feel like most unfortunate person on earth as this is a monthly pain, I speak healing every time and reassuring myself that God is with me, and he will surely heal me. Sometimes I question myself on what I did to deserve this but again the word of God say whatever that is true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, excellent think of such. this thinking encourages me daily that God is not a man to lie, therefore healing is my portion, and I’m healed blessed and highly favoured.
3. Were there any specific moments when you felt afraid and discouraged?
A – l recently went for my annual scan just to monitor the progress of the fibroids , the fact that they grew drastically and been told about the myomectomy procedure, really scared me. I just told my friends how my brain its playing games with me. This will be my first time going to be admitted in a hospital let alone been operated, I trust God, he didn’t brought me this far to leave me. He is Faithful
4. How do you maintain your faith and hope during difficult times related to your health?
Negative thoughts are there daily, I speak life into my situation, prayer and the word of God. Faith comes by hearing the word. I declare healing over my body. I Attend midnight prayer group participate in everything that builds my faith. I also guidance from the holy spirit after all He is a wonderful counsellor, God says cast all your burdens to him for he cares for us.
5. Are there any Bible verses or Christian teachings that provide comfort or strength to you?
Psalms 121 – The are moments where you feel so alone,depressed, tired, exhausted and defeated, when I cannot describe the pain. Then I just shout that my help doesn’t come from man but comes from the Lord who created heaven and earth, my maker, whom nothing is impossible with. This word reassures me that God is in control, just be still and know He is God.
6. What has been the most challenging aspect of living with fibroids , and how have you overcome it?
I once posted a picture of myself and questions I got is , “ Are you pregnant, OH girl you can’t let go of yourself like that, drink this and that to reduce that tummy. I have a baby and look way better than you.”. I recently told my supervisor about my situation the first she told me is how she can never have fibroids and how she takes care of herself. The process starts within, you must love and accept yourself and acknowledge the situation you are facing and seek help, talking about it helps me to cope. Never been anxious about tomorrow instead praying, I’m fully aware that fibroids affect fertility at the same time children are gift from God so trying to figure out a way and overthinking affects me, so I just surrender it to God. Daily declaration, I’m aware that removing fibroids doesn’t guarantee that they won’t come regrow again, but I speak life and declare I would never experience this again, remembering that God has given me authority, whatever I bind on earth its bound in heaven.
7. Have you found any support within your church or faith community that has been particularly helpful?
I normally don’t speak about it as seems embarrassing and very sensitive, for past months the spirit of God has been locating me, I will just be called and my out and my Pastors will be praying for me. With few people I have discussed with I get support and encouragement. Listing to testimonies of people who God has healed encourages me daily, all things are possible.
8. What advice would you give to others facing similar health challenges, especially from a faith perspective?
Prayer is important, find someone to talk to so you don’t lose courage and faith. Our help comes from the Lord. Trust In God all the time. Speak the change you desire; your tongue has power to create and destroy.
9. Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experience dealing with fibroids ?
Another factor that causes fibroids is hormonal imbalance, therefore change in diet is essential, research and speak about it and be open minded not everyone understands. There are other ways people shrink the fibroids ; castor oil compress I guess depending on the size and experience.
10. What scripture has been your anchor?
Isaiah 43
Editor’s note – We agree with you by faith Thandiwe – your surgery will go well. You will come out with a testimony and we use you as a point of contact for every woman with womb problems, every sickness, virus, disease, we declare freedom by the blood of Jesus. We can’t wait to hear your testimony!! As women, let’s get checked up as much as possible, this month there are places where there’s a discount for things like Pap smear, let’s go and get our check ups 🩷
