Growing up without a father

I met him when I was 17 and it was the best feeling ever.

Some are fortunate to have both parents. Parents that love you ,care for you and support you. Growing up I only had the chance to receive that from one parent who is my beautiful mom. I am of the belief that unless one parent is deceased there is no reason why one parent should raise a child but well under different circumstances such cases are common. My mom came to a foreign land in South Africa to seek for employment where she met my father and so I was conceived.

Things did not go well and my mother never saw my father again. In 1996 I was in born and the responsibility of raising a child on her own started . She went through a lot from working two jobs to knocking off very late to me sleeping at creche sometimes to days without laying my eyes on her . I remember at a young age telling her to stop working and stay with me and she would always say ‘I cant my baby Im doing it for you so you can have your ultra Mel’ which I loved at that time. Yoh I would cry every time she left me at creche and I would tell her she doesn’t love me which broke her heart. Fast forward 6 years later I went to stay with my grand parents back in Zimbabwe. 

They were good people and they made sure I did not feel the need of having parents but you know there was always a gap however my mom would always try to cover it by getting me everything I wanted and I am so proud of her. My young self needed my father to carry me on his shoulders, to tuck me in bed, to tell me he was proud of me when I got the best results at school, I just needed him to be there for me. Even though I felt certain discomfort comparing myself to other kids who had fathers, I was growing as a normal, strong and self-reliant person. I told myself that we do not choose our fathers, this is the way it happens for some of us. 

As I got older I took a step in of search of my father. It was not that hard because I had all the information I needed . I met him when I was 17 and it was the best feeling ever. We are still working on our relationship gradually and it sure has its ups and downs but we here now. Unfortunately I came across things that I had a hard time dealing with due to being fatherless. Low self esteem as you would guess because I would feel like if my father could not love me then who else will and it also affected my romantic relationships.I would feel the need to be independent and having a male do stuff for me was foreign , it still feels quiet awkward when someone expresses interest but oh well thats what makes it interesting right. Yes , there is a difference between those people who have fathers and those who have not, especially in early age. It changes how you look at the world and even how you relate to it.

God had a plan and a purpose why I was brought to this world according to Jeremiah 29:11 so I might as-well find happiness in my experiences and live a life full of joy and love.

EDITOR’S NOTE

One of the biggest challenges in society today is the issue of single parent households. I call it a challenge because biblically it is not the plan of God. God put family structure from the beginning fully aware of the need for two parents to be present in a child’s life. It’s a prayer point for intercessors to really press on because things must change! I always encourage those with both parents to honour and appreciate them because growing up with one or the other as Cindy mentioned, changes how a child relates to the world, to self, even to God. God as Father. I pray God heals all of the people who had to go through this and are still going through it; He is the Father of the Fatherless. He Fathers well. He is a good Father. Your father’s absence is not a mirror of God. He is ever present. Remember, you have a Father, The Lord God Almighty is His Name ! 🩷