Interview with Lethu

Dealing With Heartbreak

1. Can you share a bit about your relationship and what led to the heartbreak?

A – I was in a relationship for 5 years and he left me to be with someone else whom he later engaged.

2. Was it a godly relationship? Did you enquire from God?

A – It was not a Godly relationship. Yes he was born again and he would pray with me and for me but we were very sinful. This includes drinking alcohol, fornicating etc. God told me to let the relationship go but I did not.

3. What were some of the emotions you experienced after the breakup?

A –  I was heartbroken! I felt unloved, betrayed and rejected. I thought it was the end of the world because never on a single day did I ever think I would go on with life without this person.

4. Did you have any particular coping mechanisms or activities that helped you during the healing process?

A – Well to be honest at first after the breakup I resorted to alcohol thinking it would help numb the pain but that was when I realised that it is a mistake that is just opening up a lot of wounds. It was then I went to God and asked Him to heal me and help me get through the pain and that is when I found church and serving being the things that helped me to cope

5. Did you seek professional help, such as therapy or counselling ? If so, how was that experience?

A – Yes I did. To be honest, therapy never helped me at all. I don’t know if I was possibly reluctant to getting help or it was just not working. Therapy was more of a money making scheme at that time.

6.What was the most challenging part of the healing process for you?

A – It was coming to acceptance with the breakup and knowing that it is over. That the person I thought would marry me actually chose someone else and also that God did not want this relationship for me.

7. Did you discover anything new about yourself during this time?

A – My ability to speak healing to others even when I was hurting. I discovered this very strong quality about myself that I never knew existed.

8. How has this experience changed your perspective on relationships and love?

A – I have come to the knowledge and understanding of God’s meaning of love and His requirements for relationships for His children. In the sense that we can never be unequally yoked and that this is mandatory for any child of God. I also still believe very much in love you can even say I am a lover of love, I however believe strongly in the kind of love that God wants for me which is one that reflects Jesus Christ.

9. How do you feel about the idea of entering a new relationship in the future?

A – I am very much excited! I can’t wait to be my future husband’s wife. He is blessed and so am I because I know that he is an amazing man of God who will be in love with an amazing woman of God.

9. What advice would you give to someone going through a similar experience?

A – Put your trust in God! For He knows everything. Cut off all contact if you still are maintaining it. If you have to cry, do it but cry at the feet of Jesus and not of the world. Forgive yourself and forgive him. We have been called to forgive as we have been forgiven. Let go and know God is in control.

10. Is there anything else you’d like to share about your journey of healing from heartbreak?

A – The Healing is a process and not an event. Do not expect all the pain and hurt to be gone in just one day but allow God to heal you and take all the time He needs. Remember that God knows everything and that heartbreak is not a surprise to Him though it may be to you. God knows your husband even when you still might not so all you have to do is trust Him, His plan and continue serving Him as you wait.

11. Words from you to you?

”God loves you! You are more than enough! Do not let that hurt be your identity. Your identity is found in Jesus Christ.”

EDITOR’S NOTE

Dealing with a heart thing is a hard thing. My advice from my own experience would be ; heal. Heal because if you don’t you’ll not only hurt others but yourself by making “broken people decisions”. These are the decisions that are impulsive and clumsy. Heal for you! Not for anyone else or to jump into the next relationship, heal for you because you need you. And my darling, let it go. New wine is coming. How long shall you mourn for Saul when the Lord has rejected him? There is a David chosen somewhere!