yielded

Today we are wrapping up the topic of “Can God show you your spouse?” and I just want to narrow it down to the question that many singles ask ,”Where is she?” “Where is he?” “When is he going to find me?” “Where is she going to come from?” “Is this the one?” “Should l keep waiting?”

You know, John was so discouraged that he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are You the One, or should we wait for another?” because they had been waiting, and it was almost like, “I’m still in prison, so are You really the One?” These are the kinds of questions discouraged people ask. And today, I just want us to wrap this up, and I pray that God gives us peace concerning this topic and this entire discussion.

Now, the waiting season for marriage and the length of it is not the same for everyone. The people who got married at 21 or 25 there is really no set age in the Bible where it says, “By 30 you must be married.” Those are standards we often place on ourselves or standards we inherited from our families. Maybe your parents are saying, “You are already 28, where are my grandchildren?” and you’re wondering where exactly you are supposed to get these grandchildren from when no one is even saying hi to you. Your DM don turn into a desert.

The age at which people get married, the length of the waiting season, and all these things are going to look different for each and every one of us. And because that is true, I think we need to ease into that truth and accept it. You are not going to get married at the same time your friend gets married. You are not going to get married at the same time your neighbor gets married. Sometimes people are married for five years before you even meet your person, and only God knows why.

Sometimes there are still things you need to work on. Sometimes the other person is also not ready. Sometimes there are just many different factors involved. But whatever the case may be, the journey is unique to each and every one of us.

I feel like sometimes we become impatient and emotional because we are constantly comparing our journey to someone else’s journey. We are trying to catch up with friends, trying to keep pace with people around us, almost like there is this silent social media competition happening. I’m asking you, by the grace of God, to stay in your lane and remain committed to your own journey and your own path with God, especially when it comes to marriage SO THAT you don’t kiss frogs hoping they turn into princes & princesses.

Then there’s also a group of people who are like, “But where is he? Because God… really, where is he?” And someone may say, “But there are so many men around you.” No, that’s not the point. Where is he? Where is she? Where is my husband? Where is my wife? Where is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh?

You get to a certain stage and you genuinely start wondering, “Okay God, but seriously… where is this person?” Is he hiding? Is she lost? Is she walking all the way from Zimbabwe to South Africa? What is actually happening here? Those questions are real. Sometimes you laugh about it, but deep down you really are wondering. For some people, that waiting season starts making them think maybe something is wrong with them & sometimes there is genuinely nothing wrong with you. You are just in a waiting season. Wait nicely. Wait well.

One of my friends and sisters, Zee, once told me something that really stayed with me. She said, “You have to wait well.” And I thought, wow… that’s so true. Waiting well means continuing to do your work in the field while you wait. Praising God while you wait. Worshipping God while you wait. Serving God while you wait. Healing while you wait. Being restored while you wait. Growing while you wait. All of these things matter in a waiting season.

You also need the right people around you while you wait. People who will encourage you and speak life into you. Not people who are constantly saying, “Ah shame, you’re getting old now, where is your husband?” or “Look, you’re aging without children.” No. Those kinds of voices will only discourage you further. If you ask me where my husband is, I will really bite you.

So maybe before you ask, “Where is he?” or “Where is she?” you first need to ask, “Where am I?” Maybe even, “Who am I?” I’ve had conversations with different people who are also waiting for marriage, and sometimes you quickly realise that someone is still deeply unhealed. It’s there. You can sense it. Someone is still very broken. Someone still hasn’t found a sense of purpose. Someone still doesn’t even know what they want to do with their own life, but they’re already ANGRY at God why He is not releasing Peter.

I think one of the things that really needs to die in the church is the pressure to marry simply because someone is of age or because they look spiritually mature. Just because someone can quote five scriptures & adds bold tongues sounding like a lion does not mean they are emotionally ready for marriage. L There is healing attached to marriage. There is emotional maturity attached to it. There are mindsets, habits, character, and ideologies attached to it.

So while there’s no formula that says, “Once you reach this age, you must marry,” you also have to be careful not to fall into pressure. Don’t force yourself into marriage just because after church everybody is getting into cars with their husbands and wives. Find out who you are. Find out where you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Find out where you are going. Build your life. Heal. Grow. Become whole. Trust that the person who aligns with that journey will find you, or however God chooses for you to meet. Desperation has introduced people to unnecessary suffering.

I think maybe we also need to be honest with ourselves. As you are right now, with your attitude, with your level of healing, with the way you respond to people, do you genuinely think you are ready for marriage? Many people will quickly say yes. But do the people who live with you find you easy to live with? Obviously nobody is easy to live with a hundred percent, but at least you should have an awareness of the areas where God is still working on you.

Then there are those people who are like, “No honestly, I think I’m ready.” If that’s you, then keep seeking God in prayer. Keep trusting Him. Keep walking with Him.

If anyone were to ask me where I am with this whole marriage thing, I think my answer now would simply be, I’m at peace. A goood measure of peace. I’m genuinely at peace. I found that when I pursue God and pursue Him wholeheartedly, He gives me assurance. He reassures me that I will get there. He reassures me that I’m in the right place and that He is helping me.

So I’m no longer in that place where I’m panicking and saying, “God, but he must look like this, he must come now, he must be this and this.” I’m not there anymore. I pray all of us get to that place where we just find peace. Peace with the fact that what God has for you will come in its time. Your anxiety concerning this is stealing your koinonia with God.

At the same time, I also want you to be careful, because many people will come. Your DMs will be active. Suddenly everybody has received a revelation about you. Someone once told me they had a dream of their wife in a leopard print top. He explained one of my photos so well, I thought hmm for reaaaaaaalzyyyy? Then I decided to go check my profile if I’ve ever posted that photo. Lo & behold! Ahh he wanted to crook me with dreams. They will tell you the sweetest stories. “I will give you the world” “I’ve never met anyone like you.” “God told me in a dream.” Ah. Discern, my sister. Discern, my brother. Please.

In all of this, I beg you, keep consecrated while you wait. Do not let loneliness push you into compromise. Do not let desperation make decisions for you. Don’t find yourself jumping from one bed to another trying to fill a void that only God can heal. Wait with wisdom. Wait with discernment. Wait with integrity. Zip up. Close up. “It’s winter, l need a blanket with eyes.” Where have you ever seen a creepy blanket like that? Get a hot water bottle & drink tea. Stop entertaining winter lust.

Lastly, hear God for yourself. You will get many people giving you advice on what to do. Some will say, “Go on dates.” Others will say, “Put yourself out there.” Others will say, “You’re too picky.” Ah, everybody will have an opinion. I want you to learn how to hear God for yourself. Don’t assume things. Don’t be emotionally led. The Bible says one of the signs that we are sons of God is that we are led by the Spirit of God.

So if you truly meet someone, pray. Ask God to lead you. Ask Him for discernment. Ask Him for wisdom. People always say a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage, l totally agree. If you’ve seen the red flags, my dear, step out. Stop trying to make a dress out of it. It is red. Leave. But if you’re seeing green flags, then praise God. All the best. Invite us to the wedding.

If there’s someone you like and you want to take your chance and approach them, honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially for the men , approach the girl. She says no? It’s okay. At least you tried. Imagine missing your wife because you were busy “waiting on the Lord” meanwhile the Lord was waiting for you to say hello. Womennnnnn , I don’t think you should approach men but yeah.

Dress well. Bath. Moisturise. Smell nice. Take care of yourself. The type you are looking for is also looking for a type. As for the question, “Where is the person?” Darling , I don’t know. If you thought I was going to answer that question, think again, think McCain. LOL. Anyways, “Lord, where is he?”

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Interestingly enough, yesterday’s topic had almost a hundred reads in just one day. I received so many messages from people on Instagram, from people on WhatsApp, and many also commented on the blog. I suppose maybe that topic really resonated with a lot of people, and many genuinely wanted answers concerning it. Let’s bring more balance to the conversation today and trust that God will help and guide us all, in Jesus’ name.

So, let’s get into it: Can God really show you a spouse?We said yes. God absolutely can. Throughout Scripture, we see God involved in relationships, marriages, and divine direction. God is not silent concerning the major areas of our lives, and marriage is one of them. I took some time to study people in the Bible who got married, whether by the leading of the Spirit or simply through the ordinary process of marriage because there are also people in Scripture who simply got married, you do know that Lot was married yes? But we hear nothing of his marriage being the leading of God although he was a righteous man..Selah

When the Bible speaks about Rebekah, it says that the servant prayed a very specific prayer “Lord, let the young woman who gives me water and also gives water to my camels be the one.” Many women were coming to the well. You will see many damsels and many handsomes. Eh. God has beautiful children I’m telling you. Guys this servant arrived at the well at the exact time the women were coming out to draw water. So even right time matters otherwise he could have missed her completely.

Timing my people. So we seek God’s guidance even in the journey itself, even in timing. The Bible says Rebekah fit into that prayer because she did exactly what the servant had prayed for. I wanted to encourage people that you can still make those kinds of prayers today. Obviously, we no longer go to wells where women draw water, but there are still places where men and women of God are found.

Something else is important here. The servant observed Rebekah to determine whether the Lord had truly answered his prayer. So yes, the timing aligned. Yes, the woman did what he prayed for but now he wanted confirmation. He wanted to observe carefully whether this woman truly matched what he had prayed for. There is also a role for confirmation and observation. You want to pay attention to how a person speaks, how they treat people, how they carry themselves, their character, their spirit, and the fruit of their life.

Another thing, people of God, is that this servant did not arrive at the well and start “networking” romantically with every woman there. Can God lead you to your spouse? Yes. Can there possibly be more than one person in the world you could be compatible with? Maybe. But personally? I really don’t believe in talking to everybody at the same time because what exactly is going on there? Are we finding a spouse or hosting Joyous Celebration auditions?

The servant spoke to ONE woman. Meanwhile, the Bible literally says many women were coming out to the well. Many! Meaning options existed. Fine women existed. Beautiful, lovely personalities, glowing skin everything was there. Fine babes everywhere. Good gents all around but he remained focused. He was a man on a mission. A specific mission. Abraham told him to find “a wife” for Isaac not a wife and a side chick because guess what? The many people you entertain as you date potentially become a door for adultery later. It’s fine if you don’t believe me.

Some of you have reached that well and suddenly developed spiritual confusion. While talking to Rebekah, your eyes are already on the next woman carrying water. “Hmm… but this one also fears the Lord.” Then another one passes, “Wow… even this one prays like this!” Women you too. You cannot be speaking to five people, ten people, twenty people at the same time and still expect clarity. Ah-ah. Relax. Focus. Foooocuss.

When they finally got to the home, the servant explained to the family exactly why he had come. So he didn’t “kidnap” her, or take her to Isaac before doing the right thing. Do things the right way. Stop cutting corners. There’s no scripture that speaks about sleeping over at each other’s houses but let me leave you alone.

Now the Bible says that when the servant began explaining to Rebekah’s family why he had come, he said something very interesting in Genesis 24. He basically says, “If the family refuses to let her come, then I am released from this oath.” Because yes, the Lord may lead you. Yes, you may have confirmations you even dreamt of your wedding. She gave you water. She gave the camels water. He said this and that. She’s from Abraham’s family. The timing aligned. Fine. But if the family says no or if the person says no then that is still their choice.

People of God, God has given human beings free will. Someone can genuinely say, “I actually do not like you.” And that is okay. Rebekah’s family could have refused completely, and the servant would not have forced them. Imagine him standing there shouting, “But can’t you SEE the confirmation?!” No. He understood that people still have a choice.

Some people become very scary with this topic. “God showed me you’re my wife.” Meanwhile the person is hiding behind church chairs after service trying to avoid you. She is literally running from you. You cannot force your prophetic dream onto somebody who genuinely does not want you. Leave room for the possibility that even if God led you toward someone, that person still has the ability to say yes or no.

Some people ask, “But then why would God lead me there?” Well, think about salvation. Christ already died for the world, but people still have the choice whether to receive Him or reject Him. God leads, God reveals, God gives direction but human beings still respond with their own will. Her family was like, “Can she stay ten more days?” Meanwhile Rebekah was already mentally packed and ready to go. Sis said, “Nope, I’m going.” Honestly, I understand her completely. If it were me, I’d probably say, “Please escort me to my husband immediately.” While they are discussing I’m already waiting with the camels outside. Anyway, jokes aside.

The beautiful thing is that everything was still done properly. The process was honourable. There was agreement. There was family involvement. There were gifts given. Lobola was basically entering the chat (my uncle loves lobola negotiations btw). Eh. It’s his favourite event I think. Please don’t start saying, “God led me to you, therefore I will not pay dowry.” Ah-ah. My brother in Christ, you will pay. God bless you, but you will pay.

So yes, God can absolutely lead you to your spouse. But like I said yesterday, I want us to bring balance. The person can say no. And the person can also say yes. Okay see you tomorrow as we wrap up. You will marry don’t worry darling lol. Place your hand on your chest and say, “l will marry and l will marry well.” Amen.

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you

Good morning, people of God! Happy Wednesday! I trust we’re all doing well and surviving the week by the grace of God… and maybe a little bit of coffee too. I’m slowly becoming the little ol’tea lady because what in the five cups is thissssss?

Sooooo today, I want us to have a very interesting conversation because whew, I’ve been hearing people talk about this topic a lot lately. Not necessarily “on the streets” but in conversations here and there, and honestly… it’s a discussion worth having. Can God show you your spouse? And if He does… what exactly are you supposed to do after that? Because some of us hear one “hello” and suddenly we are planning wedding colours by Thursday. Abegiiii 😭

Like… if God shows you someone, do you approach them immediately? Do you start praying from a distance? Do you wait? Do you tell them? Do you act mysterious? Or do you pretend you never heard anything because you’re scared of embarrassment? And also… how do you know it’s actually God and not just because the person is fine and can quote Jeremiah 29:11 with confidence? This is my personal judgement on this issue, you are free to debate it.

Okay, so personally, I do believe that God can show you your spouse. At the same time, I don’t necessarily believe in the whole “one soulmate for one person” idea like there is only one human being on earth designed for you and if you miss them, it’s over. I would cry 6hrs straight because what do you mean l missed my soul mate?

I believe there can be multiple people who align with your journey, your values, your purpose, and the life God is calling you into. So yes, God can show you someone, one of the people who fits that purpose but that doesn’t mean you now have to date all of them in the name of “l want to see if we are a fit.” I think part of why I believe God can do that comes from the story of Adam and Eve. When Adam saw Eve, there was a knowing. He immediately recognised her as someone connected to him. Now, I’m not a man, but a lot of men say they just know when they meet a woman they want to build a life with. Like, “Yeah… this is my wife.” I think women can experience that sense of knowing too.

So can God reveal someone to you? Absolutely. I believe He can. Again, you’re free to argue. Why would God show me a location to stay in, a church to go to and not show me my spouse? I’d desperately need Him to because my eye don blur. But now here’s where things become tricky… because some people will say, “God showed me my husband,” or “God showed me my wife.” Okay. Beautiful. But what happens if that person does not like you? What if they don’t know you, don’t notice you, or don’t even see you in that way?

Let’s get deliverance today. Remember all I’m saying is from a place of LOVE. Thats the bandage for those who may bleed from this. So now we have two different scenarios here.

It’s one thing for you to believe God has shown you your spouse and the other person has the same conviction too. That’s a completely different situation. When both people are aligned, both are praying, both have peace, both are intentional, beautiful, I love it & l want that for all of us. At that point, it becomes something you both pursue. But it’s a totally different scenario when you believe God showed you someone… and the other person does not feel the same way at all.

I need us to understand something very important once again there is not just one person for you. Like I said before, there are many people who can align with your purpose, values, and journey. Even when Abraham’s servant went to look for a wife for Isaac, he did not say, “Lord, show me Rebekah specifically.” No. He prayed according to character, kindness, and alignment. He said, essentially, “The woman who does ABC… let her be the one.” Rebekah, through her character and nature, fit into that prayer. Realistically speaking, if another woman with the same qualities had come, she also could have fit the assignment.

So sometimes we become too mystical and forget that wisdom, character, willingness, and mutual choice matter too. I don’t want us to be naive & ignorant to some truths. Some people will say, “God told me that’s my husband” or “That’s my wife,” and then proceed to wait TEN YEARS for somebody who has shown absolutely no interest. No conversation. No confirmation. No pursuit. Nothing. Wake up. 😭 I’m actually setting an alarm for some of you. Wake up.

I once heard a story about a woman who believed a certain man was her husband. Eventually, the man got married to someone else and had children. And she was STILL waiting, saying, “No, God told me.”My sister. Are you secretly hoping the man divorces his wife? Leaves his children? Breaks his family apart just to come and fulfil your “word”? And do we genuinely think God would orchestrate confusion and destruction like that? At some point, we have to separate discernment from obsession.

I think if someone truly believes God showed them a person, the healthiest response is not obsession, force, or waiting forever. It’s peace. You pray, you use wisdom, you allow things to unfold naturally, and you also accept reality when reality speaks. It’s also very important for us to believe that if God truly showed us something, then He is fully capable of working it out. Obviously, there still has to be willingness, effort, and alignment on both sides, like I already said.

I really want to speak lovingly to people who have waited five years, seven years, even longer… still believing for someone who has clearly moved on, is engaged, is getting married, or has built a life elsewhere. Allow yourself to move on. Otherwise, you’ll eventually find yourself in a place where you broke your own heart by refusing to accept reality. “You know what the lepers said. shall we sit here until we die?” Please don’t sit emotionally attached to a fantasy until you die. This is exactly why I keep saying: kill the idea that there is only one person for you.

I’m not encouraging entertaining every option under the sun because that can also become dangerous and open doors to confusion. Sometimes what starts as “I think God showed me someone” slowly turns into unhealthy attachment. An attachment that becomes stubborn even when there’s advice, there’s evidence, there’s proof. You can literally SEE that this man is not pursuing you. You can SEE this woman does not see you that way but because you attached spirituality to it, you refuse to let go.

I’m gonna hug you tightly as I say this, God is not going to force someone to marry you because you’re a good person. God is not going to force someone to like you because you live a holy life. Sometimes I think we unconsciously fall into this mindset of “performance for blessings.” Like
“I’ve been fasting.”
“I’ve been praying.”
“I’ve been serving in church.”
“I’ve been pure.” And because of that, we expect God to reward us with a specific person but marriage is not a trophy for spiritual performance.

Now yes, there are situations where prayer changes things. Sometimes there really is spiritual warfare. Sometimes people do grow, heal, and become aligned. That can happen but if you have prayed, fasted, surrendered, and trusted God, you should also have peace knowing that if this person is not the one, God is still able to bring another..

For some people, friendship can easily create confusion. Especially friendships between men and women. You can become emotionally close, start talking every day, laughing, sharing deep things… and suddenly your mind starts creating wedding invitations. You even know who you won’t invite. Please invite me o. I’ve been writing to you going to 3 years now, I deserve a drumstick at your wedding.

Sometimes someone is kind to you and that kindness is not romantic interest. Christians are supposed to be kind. Some people are simply living by the fruit of the Spirit. Social media makes this even worse because now someone likes your stories three times and suddenly you’re on Pinterest , “show me rings.” 🤣🤣 your heartbreak is stewing.

Learn that not every emotional connection is romantic. Not every one who is your ideal spouse is your real spouse. Not every kind person is your spouse. Whew ..this conversation is getting interesting. We definitely need a part two tomorrow because wow. Gah gah gah. I still love you all okay? Make a cup of coffee and be soothed in Jesus Name!

Let me do altar call & win souls!

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you