Reflection Friday [Relationships]

It’s Reflection Friday my people!🎈

Another weekend, another month moving so fast. It’s like these Valentines people are rushing us this month. We just started February yesterday and now we are a week in? They want to show us their roses and long paragraphs of sweet talk. But don’t worry, next year is your turn. Make sure you make sure. Make sure the 1st of February becomes the 14th or make sure everyday of February is valentines. Make up for all valentines you have missed out on. Show us all the Pepe you have been storing 😂 make it redder than the colour RED!

Today is Reflection Friday, and I want us to pause and reflect on the romantic relationships we have found ourselves in at one point or another, and how they have affected us whether positively or negatively in our journey to occupy through marriage. First of all, I want to say this clearly: if you desire to marry, you desire a good thing, and if you desire to remain single, you also desire a good thing.

There are two types of people who enter marriage: those who have never been in a relationship prior to that particular one, and those who have had one or several before. The latter is usually the more common. By the time people marry, they have often tried with sister A or brother B. For most people, their first relationship does not lead to marriage, in a few cases it does, but more often it does not. This explains why that person you once liked and thought you would marry did not end up being the one. In many ways, this is because we discover ourselves over time; we must first come to know who we are soberly and honestly so that we can marry from a place of identity and purpose. Whether you fall into category A or B, you still qualify for marriage. No one is more qualified than the other. If God wills it, you will have it.

Growing up, I often heard statements like, “By 25 a woman must be married,” or “By 30 a man must have settled down.” The age was always a bit higher for men, and while I understand some of the thinking behind that, I want to say this: the marriageable age is when God presents your spouse. It is God who decides the timing; you simply align when He brings that person. Even at 49, you can still marry, my dear. With that in mind, I want us to soberly consider how we have handled romantic relationships was it all their fault, was it your fault or were there areas where responsibility was shared?

Being honest with yourself in this is the first step toward fixing whatever needs to be fixed. Were you too wishful in your thinking? Did you run ahead of God? Had God truly confirmed them to you, or was your heart so glued to them that the only voice that made sense was your own? Was the relationship an escape plan from a family house, pressure, or circumstances? Did anyone push you into it? Did you overlook the red flags God revealed after you prayed that dangerous prayer? Did you tolerate actions you knew were unacceptable simply because you wanted the relationship so badly? Did you give your body and exchange your birthright?

Knowing who you are now and what you know now, would you still have wanted to marry that person? We must remember that we are better off marrying from a place of identity and purpose.

Vanessa Moonkie

Reflect on these things. Take yourself on a self-mirror journey where you stop blaming everyone else even that person and honestly examine your own part. What was your role? It may not have been as bad as what they did to you (or perhaps you were the doer of all bad things), but maybe your part was staying when you should have left, being silent when you should have spoken up, continuing to respond when you should have cut off, blocked, and deleted, or listening to repeated “I’m sorry” with no change,  when you could have enjoyed singleness and waited on God.

I have often thought that we have gone through things we shouldn’t have simply because we didn’t ask from the very beginning. Was God part of it? Is God part of your decision making process in relationships, or is He only invited to bless a relationship He never ordained?

Vanessa Moonkie

If we truly want to occupy through marriage, should we not learn about marriage? Have you read any book on marriage, or do you plan to copy and paste what you did before? Are you relying on social media tips to teach you how to stay married? Have you listened to a marriage sermon? What does God actually say about marriage, and what are the roles of a husband and a wife? You would never assume the position of a doctor without medical knowledge so why assume the position of a spouse without understanding, when either you or the other person will suffer for lack of knowledge ?

For you to finally do things right, you must have the right knowledge, but it all begins with the person in the mirror, forgive yourself for past mistakes and commit to working on yourself to become the version of you that God wants married. Work on character, deal with all those random  moods you have, deal with that temper and get up and work on your life. I have a scripture for you as we head into the weekend, may your own find you, may you find your own before Valentine’s 😂 or before the end of the month, in Jesus’ name!

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough!”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

BUT

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.”
‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I LOVE YOU👇🏾 See you on Monday🫰🏾

If you read my blogs but have never met this  Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about,  you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email  on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you.