The career mom and wife

That balance I only found it in Jesus.

_ Christele Zongo

When I was young, l remember having conversations about the women who lose themselves after motherhood. Maybe we all said “this will never be me having kids doesn’t mean let yourself go” sometimes we become advisors to tell that woman how she should carry herself. 
Then years passed I became mother myself, far from home with no help except from my husband, it was hard. Exhausted, sleep deprived I begin to loose myself too. womanhood was an illusion, no more makeup, gain over 30kg, felt ugly. The balance that I thought I can achieve was just a mirage. Then came the time l had to go back to work. I think all mums knows the feeling “the mum guilt” leaving your baby to go work. It was hard, I’ll cry during my commute to work. How could I juggle between being a mom, wife, woman and an employee?
Society asks a lot from women, and that pressure is a burden to carry. Have kids and still look good, go to work and come do your chores, and take care of your husband.

I lost myself in the midst of all this. I was depressed, crying all the time, full of anger. I couldn’t take anymore so in December 2022 I decided to quit my job. During that time I decided to go visit my sister in Atlanta, and in that guest room of my sister house I decided to allow Jesus to have lordship over my life. To surrender everything. Trust me when I say that decision of surrendering was everything I needed. Step by step and one at the time God moulded me.
The balance that I thought was an illusion I obtained it in Jesus. I remember meditating on the Proverb 31 woman. Before that day I’ll tell myself that it’s impossible for a woman to be this balance and to be honest it is true, because it takes a supernatural power to be that woman. Without the Holy Spirit I’m tempted to say it’s impossible to find a balance in all this craziness.

The proverb 31 woman was an entrepreneur, an investor, a leader, a wife and a mom, she had that perfect balance. And that became a prayer point. I told God I tried myself but I couldn’t , I even lost myself. I didn’t even recognise who Christele was, I was tired but then l said God I surrender my whole life to you. Help me to be the believer, the daughter, the woman, the wife, and the mother you want me to be. And till now I still pray this prayer. 
I’ve been working 12 hours shift per day and despite the tiredness of work I still can find strength to hang out with my kids, cook some delicious meal for my husband, take care of myself and still have a personal Bible study.

The Bible said in Philippians 4:6 that in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to GOD.
Some prayer points might seem vain, I remember praying to be soft and more feminine, to speak calmly. Believe me, if you put a little faith in it, God will do as you asked. I wish it was my husband testifying this. The way that God softens me. Even my tone has changed. I was very masculine somehow it has disappeared😂.

To some mother I want to say the balance you need and aspire for is in Jesus. Learn to surrender, speak to him about your struggles, your incapacities , weaknesses, ask him to take them away.
We need that balance for a happy marriage, remember the proverb 31 woman, the scripture says that she is the crown of her husband, in other terms she is his pride, his riches. Meaning that some women can be their husband’s shame. The happiness of the couple and the family is “mostly”conditioned by wifey/mummy. 

In addition, we have to know that for us women to have a balance in our life we need help, the proverb 31 woman had help( house help)that’s why she was able to accomplish so much. To be productive you definitely need help, otherwise “hello” burn-out. 
I love to take care of my family, my husband, my kids. I love to cook for them but sometimes my husband cooks, while I’m watching tv or laying in my bed. When we both tired I ask my best friend to have them for sleepover and she knows that when I ask it’s because we need it. Having some help will definitely contribute in helping you finding your balance in womanhood, wifehood and motherhood 
To conclude that surrendering your journey to God is more than necessary, I’m even tempted to say that it’s a life saving process. Learn to surrender to God. Then after surrendering, learn to ask for help. You cannot do it alone. Your productivity is necessary for your family and marriage. Meditate on the proverb 31 it’s a blueprint for your journey. I prayed that our lord Jesus be the center of your life. I pray that you’ll find the balance you need for the happiness of family and marriage. God blessed you all

Editor’s note

I am so proud of you ! Those of us who haven’t married as yet, are learning . Thank you for all the lessons we learned from your journey. Dear wives, mommies and career women – you are the best! We love you !! 🩷