The journey to purity {1}

Interview with Oboitshepo Tladi

1. What does purity mean to you?

At first purity simply meant abstaining from sexual sin, but very quickly the Lord expanded and is still expanding this concept of purity to me. At the current time, purity means dedicating my entire self to the Lord. More importantly, it means keeping my heart pure. This starts by thinking purely so that I can live a life that pursues holy behaviour. In short, purity means remainingseparate from the world and being constantly ready for God’s work. 

2. Can you share a bit about your personal journey and what prompted you to start this journey?

Well, I believe my journey of purity started while I was still in high school. Around the age of 14 I made a vow to the Lord that I would wait for marriage before engaging in any sexual activity and for a while I held out but very soon after making that vow – I started dating an older guy and that vow quickly disappeared. After that came nearly 10 years of trying to find my way back to the Lord and back to the vow I made. Around the age of 23, is when I truly encountered God again and decided that I wanted to take our relationship seriously and pursue Him with all I got, without any distractions. Now I am 29 years old and I can honestly say that although the journey is challenging, giving myself back to God has been the best decision I have ever made. So I rededicated myself to my purity journey after being heartbroken and remembering that I was much safer in the hands of God than in the hands of man.

3. How did your upbringing and faith background influence your views on purity?

Lol, my upbringing and faith background influenced my views on purity in both a positive and negative way. On one side it emphasised the need to consider sex as sacred and holy – while on the other hand it made sex and everything that is related to it, seem so taboo. I think this is why at such a young age, I began experimenting because I was curious and wanted to know what this ‘thing’ was that I was supposed to stay away from. In hindsight, I thank God that my upbringing placed suchan emphasis on sexual purity because now I have a deeper appreciation for those boundaries that my faith sets up. However, I do think that if sex was brought up in a more positive light and in a more casual and open manner as I grew up, maybe I would have been less curious since all my questions and concerns would be answered through simple conversation.

4. What challenges have you faced in maintaining your commitment to purity?

I think one of the greatest challenges I have faced is the element of patience. No one really speaks on how pursuing purity goes alongside pursuing patience. It is really hard to separate the two. So we are really good at preaching about abstaining but not really good at speaking about how your journey of abstinence is going to require enormous amounts of patience. I have seen in my own life how when I tend to lack in the area ofpatience my purity also gets affected. 

5. Have you experienced any setbacks, and how did you overcome them?

I definitely have experienced some setbacks and I overcame them through this one scripture in Hebrews that constantly blows my mind. This is Hebrews 4:16AMP, it reads: 

“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].”

What I love is that this scripture clearly tells us what the plan of action should be in moments of weakness. It’s very clear that when you feel weak that is THE BEST time to run to the throne of God. When you are weak is when you are called to be the most confident whenapproaching His throne, knowing that at the feet of Jesus is where we will most definitely without a doubt receive the grace and mercy we need. So that’s how I overcome. I remind myself that in moments of weakness the Lord expects me not to hide from Him but instead to approach His throne with boldness.

6. How has your relationship with God influenced your decisions and commitment to purity?

My relationship with God is the very reason why I chose to pursue purity. Without Him it would be impossible. I need Him in order to remain on this journey. It is He who keeps me and because of this, I have noted that inseasons where I am not dedicated to seeking Him, I find that my commitment to this journey is tested the most because truly He is the one who keeps. The closer I am with Him, the easier it is to be kept by Him. The further I am from Him, the easier it is to be led by my flesh.

7. Are there specific Bible verses or teachings that have been particularly meaningful to you?

Yes, as I mentioned Hebrews 4:16 has always kept me going in times of difficulty. However, the one scripture that we are all very familiar with has also been a solid foundation for this walk. This is 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 AMP:

“ Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body.”

I believe that 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 is the gift that keeps on giving! it simply never gets old and it provides the very reason why it is so important for us to remain pure: WE ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

8. How do you handle conversations about purity with friends or others who may have different views?

I always try my best to encourage them to abstain from sexual sin without making them feel like I am judging them. I always try to approach the matter from a place of humility, reminding them that I understand where they are coming from and what they are going through. I remind them that it is indeed a difficult thing to walk away from but with God nothing is impossible. I maintain my stance, I remain open to their experience, without compromising my beliefs. 

9. What have been some of the most significant lessons you've learned on this journey? 

There is no purity without humility! Humility reminds you that it is the grace of God that has kept you from falling. It is not your ability nor is it your strength that has gotten you this far. A lot of Chirstian women believe that they are somehow better because of their ability to remain pure forgetting that it’s God that has empowered them do so. It’s not because they have this incredible skill of abstaining or because they are so self-controlled and obedient but instead it’s because God is gracious. Without this understanding we risk falling into the very sin we confidently claim to resist by our own strength. Pride comes before the fall, so always remember that it is God who keeps you, so rely on Him and not your ability to keep yourself.

10. What advice would you give to others who are striving to maintain purity in their lives?

Surrender your sexuality to God. Surrender your sexual desires to God. Surrender your sexual orientation to God. Surrender your sexual drive to God.

EDITORS NOTE

Family we have more to come on Part 2 of this interview. Oboitshepo was given lots of questions as this is a very important topic for us to discuss as women pursuing purity even as the body of Christ. I’m sure we have all learnt so much from Part 1 already. Now tell a friend to tell a friend that there is more … send them the links and let’s all come and learn from the wells of wisdom in these women. Happy new week. Go in thy strength!