Imagine this.
The person who hurt you the most… finally says, “I’m sorry.”
Not defensively. Not to clear their conscience. But truly genuinely sorry. They admit to the lies. The slander. The gossip. The abuse. All of it. They don’t deny it. They don’t gaslight you with “I didn’t do that.” Instead, they look you in the eye and say, “I was wrong. I hurt you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
How would that make you feel? To be acknowledged. To be believed. To be validated in your pain. To finally hear the words that your heart waited so long for. Would it break you? Heal you ?Free you? Or maybe… a bit of all three. I guess that’s what so many of us are waiting for, to finally begin healing. To get the closure we never received. To close that chapter. To feel like we can start living again. We’re waiting for someone to say, “I’m sorry.” Waiting for someone to own what they did, to acknowledge the pain they caused, so we can finally exhale and let go.
And in some ways, we’re not wrong for wanting that. Because when there’s no apology, the wound doesn’t fully close. It lingers. It stings. It stays open in quiet, subtle ways. And I always tell people, no one gets to decide whether they hurt someone or not. The person who was hurt gets to name that pain. Because at the end of the day, we can’t fully know how someone else feels. We’re not in their body. We only know our own.
So maybe that’s what we’re all really waiting for: an apology. A real one. But here’s the hard part how long have you been waiting? Some people have waited ten years. Some have waited their whole lives. Some never got it, not even on a deathbed. Especially in some of our homes, where “I’m sorry” is treated like weakness or something unfamiliar. In many African households, apologies can feel like foreign language.
And so, some people will wait forever. And they’ll never hear those words. So the question becomes: what do you want to do with that reality? The 50/50 chance. The gray area. Do you wait? Do you confront? Do you release it for your own peace, even if they never say sorry? This is where healing becomes a choice. Not easy. Not clean. But yours to make.
I want you to ask yourself something real today: Would you still choose to forgive if the apology never came? Yesterday, we spoke about forgiving ourselves. We reflected on what it means to look in the mirror and say, “I’m sorry Vanessa, for the things I put you through.” And that’s hard but in many ways, it’s easier than what we’re about to face today.
What about when the pain comes from someone else? What happens when the person who hurt you never says, “I’m sorry”? Are you willing to wait? And how long are you willing to wait?For some, the apology might still come. Maybe in two more years. Two months. Two days. Even in two hours your phone could ring, a message could appear, and they finally say the words you’ve longed to hear. But for others… the apology may never come.
And if that’s you, then the question becomes not if they’ll say sorry, but what will you do if they don’t?. This is where the Word reminds us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23) Guarding your heart isn’t about building walls.
It’s about making room for God to heal what others damaged.
It’s about choosing not to let bitterness take root and rule your life. It’s about deciding through God’s strength to forgive even when it wasn’t asked for. Let me be clear , I am not downplaying the pain. I am not dismissing the weight of what you’ve been through. I know it made you cry. I know it made you question your worth. I know it was heavy and unfair and you didn’t deserve it. But I also have to ask will you stay on this mountain forever?
Because the Bible says, “You have stayed long enough at this mountain.” (Deuteronomy 1:6)
How long have you been feeling that way? And how has it helped you? Maybe today isn’t about getting an apology. Maybe today is about letting God do what that person never could, heal you, validate you, restore you. We will look at steps to forgiveness as we build on this topic but please,
Consider what l said. ❤️