Author: Vanessa Moonkie

One of the main reasons couples don’t last long or end up divorcing is emotional instability. When one person is emotionally mature and knows how to handle their feelings, and the other lashes out breaking things or causing damage when angry that relationship will struggle. Sometimes we quickly say, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Fair enough. But maybe it was meant to be, you just had too much emotional conflict, both within yourselves and between each other, that ended up weighing down what could’ve been something really beautiful.

An emotionally unstable parent is a real danger to their children, I’m not even joking. So many parents had the chance to be their children’s safe place, but instead, they became the very source of their pain. Your kids don’t feel safe around you because your heart is noisy, unsettled, and refuses to embrace peace.

Just two days ago, it was Mother’s Day, and I can’t tell you how many people opened up about this exact thing. “My mom never healed, so she constantly did ABC,” or “I don’t speak to my mom anymore because she’s bitter and always hurts me.” We may judge these people but only they know, the wounds that came from nursing that relationship. The truth is, emotional instability makes it almost impossible to build healthy relationships it always ends up causing destruction instead of connection.

What about the drama? The desperation? The sharp words? The countless days filled with attitude and tension? Let’s be honest , this goes for both men and women. A man who beats his wife is emotionally unstable. He shouldn’t be married. He’s living impulsively, ruled by his emotions, while someone else suffers for his lack of self-control.

There’s a foolishness you pay for because of your own choices, and then there’s the kind you suffer from simply by being around foolish, unstable people. Emotional instability doesn’t always look loud , it can hide in gullibility, naivety, insecurity. But the fruit is the same: damaged relationships, chaos, and pain.So what’s the answer? It’s simple: HEALING.

Heal and be restored. Do the inner work. Build a healthy image of who you are not based on your pain, but on truth. Your mind needs healing too. Learn to think before you speak. Understand that your words and actions carry weight, and they can hurt others deeply. Like I said yesterday, no one can put up with you forever. Nobody. There comes a point when even the most patient person grows tired. Heal before you lose the very people who were sent to love you.

Lastly, Signs of Emotional Stability.

You know when to be silent, when to speak, and when to walk away. You can process disappointment without exploding. You listen more than you react. You are self-aware and take responsibility for your emotions. You give others room to feel, without making everything about you. The Cost of Emotional Instability

• Broken relationships.
• Repeating toxic cycles.
• Missed opportunities.
• Regret and shame after impulsive decisions.
• Hurting the people you love the most.

People don’t always realise how much emotional immaturity costs until it’s too late. I hope you do, I hope you have learned from this little lesson that your internal being matters. That heart? Guard it. Diligently so. Remember, somethings can be done for you and some? You do them yourself. Inner work is one of them. See you tomorrow!❤️

We’re baaaack! It’s been a whole two weeks without a blog, our longest break yet. Last week, I decided to take intentional rest, and guess what? I had writer’s block too, soooo it was cheering on my decision to pause. Honestly, I didn’t mind. I’ve come to appreciate that writer’s block isn’t forever; sometimes all you need is a little spark of inspiration to get going again. And now that the spark “she’s” back, let’s goooooo! Today we’re talking about: emotional stability.

Emotional stability is the ability to remain calm, balanced, and in control of your emotions especially in stressful or challenging situations. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel strong emotions, but that you don’t let them control you or lead to impulsive decisions. This means that emotional instability is the opposite of what you’ve just read. Many people who struggle with emotional instability often find it challenging to sustain meaningful relationships. Why? Because instability unsettles the relationship. It becomes difficult to connect, to build trust, and to grow together. Keeping up with someone whose emotions constantly shift can feel exhausting and understanding them can feel nearly impossible at times.

There was a time, I can’t remember if I was teaching or writing but I clearly remember saying this: if you’re emotionally unstable, people can usually see it, and they may start to distance themselves from you. And honestly? It’s not that deep. People naturally think about protecting themselves first.

Don’t believe me? Picture this: a dog starts chasing you and your friends. Are you really going to say, “Guys, run ahead! Let the dog get me , I’ll be the sacrifice!” Be honest. You’re probably grabbing onto the fastest runner without realising you’re slowing them down too! It just goes to show self-preservation kicks in fast. That’s why the sacrifice of Christ is such a big deal. He chose to be the sacrifice. Receive Him today. We all like to think we’re sacrificial, but let’s be real there are levels to it.

Now that you’ve admitted you’d also run for your life, you can probably understand this: when your emotional life is all over the place, people might start running too. Think about it, how many different moods are you planning to have in one week? “I won’t even smile today. They must feel that something’s wrong, today today today!” You plan your dramatic scenes.

Listen darling, believe me when I say this, people are going through a lot, and sometimes their “lot” doesn’t include babysitting your emotional rollercoaster. When I counsel people, I always tell them the truth. Why? Because the real danger is when we lie to ourselves. That kind of self-deception doesn’t protect you it slowly harms you over time.

What does emotional stability actually look like?

It looks like managing anger you can’t go around punching walls. Your fingers will bruise. They’ll break. And guess what? The wall won’t care. It looks like facing sadness and anxiety without letting them drown you, because the enemy’s plan is often to trap you there to keep you spiralling until something small becomes a mountain of depression.

It looks like bouncing back from setbacks with resilience. Do you know how many people give up every day? It’s heartbreaking. A “no” from a company isn’t the end of your life. Please, I’m begging you, don’t let rejection convince you that your life has no value. Suicide is not the solution. It will never be! Emotional stability is staying consistent in your mood and behavior making wise, thought-through decisions instead of reacting on impulse.

Sweetheart, you can’t break up five times a week. You can’t block someone every time there’s a disagreement. “I’m all for peace!” No baby, that’s not peace. That’s emotional instability especially because we know you’re unblocking them again before 8pm.

I have a lot to say but can we wrap it up here today? We will do part two tomorrow. Well, it does feel like a counselling session lol. I got a scripture below

“If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25‬:‭28‬ ‭TPT‬‬
THE HOLY BIBLE

Guess what? We all have moments when our emotions get the best of us it’s part of being human. But the good news is, we don’t have to stay there. Tomorrow, we’ll dive into practical ways to stay positive and calm even in tough days and seasons.You know I love you forever. Have an amazing day! And remember: if you cool down, and you’ll find yourself gaining control over the situation and things will turn out so much better!

Okay BYE! ❤️

Heyyyy my beautiful people!

I hope you’re all doing well, oooo!

Just a quick heads-up I won’t be writing or posting on here next week because I’ll be attending the Excel Conference. It’s going to be a packed week, and honestly, I really want to posture myself to receive without slipping into Martha mode.

Igbo kwenuuuuu! Zulu kwenuuuuu! English people kwenuuuuu! Well, kingdom people kwenuuuu! 😂😂

But wait… you haven’t heard about Excel Conference? Ehhh? How na?

We need to talk! First check out this pozter.

If you’re around Johannesburg and you don’t show up, I will know you’re not serious. If you can book a flight, book and come o. Come with your bible, note book, pen , offering, a friend and a list of your expectations! It will also be streamed online on the church YouTube channel so you can tune in for that too!

I’ll see you guys the week of the 5th! I love you, and if you miss me, just come back here and read , there are almost 600 posts to keep you company! To everyone who asked for the Yielded PayPal from last year, I’ve fixed it… I think (lol). Just scroll to the bottom of the page and click the link. But I’m grateful, I didn’t think to monetise this blog and I won’t , you can give whatever and whenever you’re prompted to but remember to leave your name. So the link, if it works — amazing! If it doesn’t, use that money to transport someone to church. A win is a win, right? Be a winner!

Did I already say I love you? If I did pretend like I didn’t so you can get a double dose! I love you, bye!🩷

Let me post myself today