Category: The Yielded Believer

Imagine this.

The person who hurt you the most… finally says, “I’m sorry.”

Not defensively. Not to clear their conscience. But truly genuinely sorry. They admit to the lies. The slander. The gossip. The abuse. All of it. They don’t deny it. They don’t gaslight you with “I didn’t do that.” Instead, they look you in the eye and say, “I was wrong. I hurt you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

How would that make you feel? To be acknowledged. To be believed. To be validated in your pain. To finally hear the words that your heart waited so long for. Would it break you? Heal you ?Free you? Or maybe… a bit of all three. I guess that’s what so many of us are waiting for, to finally begin healing. To get the closure we never received. To close that chapter. To feel like we can start living again. We’re waiting for someone to say, “I’m sorry.” Waiting for someone to own what they did, to acknowledge the pain they caused, so we can finally exhale and let go.

And in some ways, we’re not wrong for wanting that. Because when there’s no apology, the wound doesn’t fully close. It lingers. It stings. It stays open in quiet, subtle ways. And I always tell people, no one gets to decide whether they hurt someone or not. The person who was hurt gets to name that pain. Because at the end of the day, we can’t fully know how someone else feels. We’re not in their body. We only know our own.

So maybe that’s what we’re all really waiting for: an apology. A real one. But here’s the hard part how long have you been waiting? Some people have waited ten years. Some have waited their whole lives. Some never got it, not even on a deathbed. Especially in some of our homes, where “I’m sorry” is treated like weakness or something unfamiliar. In many African households, apologies can feel like foreign language.

And so, some people will wait forever. And they’ll never hear those words. So the question becomes: what do you want to do with that reality? The 50/50 chance. The gray area. Do you wait? Do you confront? Do you release it for your own peace, even if they never say sorry? This is where healing becomes a choice. Not easy. Not clean. But yours to make.

I want you to ask yourself something real today: Would you still choose to forgive if the apology never came? Yesterday, we spoke about forgiving ourselves. We reflected on what it means to look in the mirror and say, “I’m sorry Vanessa, for the things I put you through.” And that’s hard but in many ways, it’s easier than what we’re about to face today.

What about when the pain comes from someone else? What happens when the person who hurt you never says, “I’m sorry”? Are you willing to wait? And how long are you willing to wait?For some, the apology might still come. Maybe in two more years. Two months. Two days. Even in two hours your phone could ring, a message could appear, and they finally say the words you’ve longed to hear. But for others… the apology may never come.

And if that’s you, then the question becomes not if they’ll say sorry, but what will you do if they don’t?. This is where the Word reminds us: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23) Guarding your heart isn’t about building walls.

It’s about making room for God to heal what others damaged.

It’s about choosing not to let bitterness take root and rule your life. It’s about deciding through God’s strength to forgive even when it wasn’t asked for. Let me be clear , I am not downplaying the pain. I am not dismissing the weight of what you’ve been through. I know it made you cry. I know it made you question your worth. I know it was heavy and unfair and you didn’t deserve it. But I also have to ask will you stay on this mountain forever?

Because the Bible says, “You have stayed long enough at this mountain.” (Deuteronomy 1:6)

How long have you been feeling that way? And how has it helped you? Maybe today isn’t about getting an apology. Maybe today is about letting God do what that person never could, heal you, validate you, restore you. We will look at steps to forgiveness as we build on this topic but please,

Consider what l said. ❤️

I know these words aren’t easy to say. For many of us, simply reaching the point where we can say “I forgive you” is a struggle. And the reason is understandable the weight of what we’ve endured because of others can feel unbearable. Our experiences are not the same, our responses differ, and our hearts process pain in unique ways. But if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s this: forgiveness is not easy but it’s also not optional.

Someone is angry and bitter because they were raped. A man is broken because his wife betrayed him. A woman carries deep resentment because her husband abused her. Children cannot bring themselves to forgive their parents and parents, in turn, struggle to forgive their children.

Unforgiveness has crept into the workplace colleagues turned against each other. Among siblings, grudges grow silently over the years. In friendships, it disguises itself hidden behind smiles and small talk, but waiting patiently for a day of expression . Even among brethren in the church , who pray the Lord’s Prayer, asking, “Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us,” there remains a list at least five names they’ve never truly released in that very department. And perhaps the heaviest of all is the unforgiveness we carry against ourselves.

Sometimes, we do receive apologies. People kneel, they cry, and they express deep sorrow for what they’ve done. And yet, some say the apology isn’t sincere. Others respond with anger, turning the moment into another argument, another war. It makes me wonder why Jesus emphasised the number of times we are to forgive. Perhaps He knew that in this life, offences would come not just once, but over and over again. And maybe that’s exactly why forgiveness, too, must come over and over again.

Today, I want to ask you, have you forgiven yourself?

Have you forgiven yourself for misjudging that guy, for pouring your heart and resources into someone who made you feel like a fool? What about that sin that still lingers in your mind, always before you?

Have you forgiven yourself for the moment you dropped your guard for a few minutes of pleasure that came at the cost of your consecration? Have you forgiven yourself for the things you didn’t do, the words you should have spoken, the decisions you delayed, the red flags and exit doors you ignored?

Forgive yourself for not walking away sooner. For taking a path that ended in pain, even in trauma like rape. For staying silent when you needed to speak. For the years that feel wasted. You need to forgive yourself. And you need to do it now. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Now.For some, forgiving others feels impossible because you’ve never started with yourself.

You’re still beating yourself up over a past that Jesus already washed clean with His blood. You can’t forgive yourself for not hugging your parent more before they passed. Maybe you told a lie. Maybe it’s the baby daddy. Maybe you made a decision that changed your life for the worse. But the question is: until when?

How long will you carry that burden?How long will your shoulders bear what grace already came to lift? It’s time to give rest to those tired shoulders. Look in the mirror. Call yourself by name. And say:

“[Your Name], I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. I forgive you seventy times seven times. I forgive you because God has already forgiven you. I forgive you because you deserve to spread your wings and fly. I forgive you because you can only soar high when you’re carrying light.”

And I hope it’s not just words. I hope you finally allow yourself to come out of that cage. ❤️

How are you really doing? How has your week been?How’s your heart, your body, your mind? What’s been weighing on your thoughts lately? Whatever it is, why not place it in God’s hands today? He cares for you more than you know.

This morning, while reflecting on my life, I said to God, “Lord, I’m content… but I’m not satisfied.” Then I paused and thought, Wait, what did I just say? Lol.

I am content I rarely complain. I’m not a murmurer. I don’t naturally lean toward the negative. I’m intentional about guarding my faith and peace by not fixating on things that cause me to stagger in unbelief. It’s giving Abraham, you know? Fully persuaded. Lol. But I also like to reflect deeply. So I evaluated my life, my career, my gifts, my skills, the effort and energy I put into what I do. And still, the thought echoed back: Content, but not satisfied. Grateful, yet certain there’s more.

There’s more to reach for. More to become. So… where is the “more” button? Make l prezz it immediately, please! I’m not gonna throw any tantrum, I just want instructions to get to my more season. Practical steps too , you know.

“If you work hard at what you do, great abundance will come to you. But merely talking about getting rich while living to only pursue your pleasures brings you face-to-face with poverty.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14‬:‭23‬ ‭TPT‬‬

If you’re anything like me, then you know that stepping into your “more” starts with intentional decisions. I’m about to share a post with you, and I truly hope you’ll show up for this event not for me, but for you. Help yourself… unless you’re completely content with where you are. Sometimes the difference between where you are and where you’re called to be is just knowledge. One word. One insight. One moment of clarity.

Show up. Learn. Invest in yourself. Who knows, your “more” might just be waiting in this very meeting.

Hey Yielded People!!

Before I dive into today’s blog, I just want to encourage you, work on your gift, your talent, and your skill. Whether you’re an artist, a musician, a writer, a nail tech, or anything in between, keep sharpening your craft. It may not seem like much right now, but if you stay consistent and committed, you’ll become so good at it that it will open doors you never imagined.

Your gift will bring you before kings, but to be honest kings don’t entertain mediocrity. David wasn’t just anointed; he was excellent. He didn’t just play the harp; he played it well. There might’ve been a whole group out there called The Harp Players, but David stood out because he carried both skill and anointing. Kings don’t make time for noise. So work on it, refine, improve, practice, and grow. God gave you something for a reason. Honour it with your effort. I keep writing here because I’m also working on mine, go on and work on yours. Let’s go!

The topic of friendship is actually quite sensitive because many have ended up in pits like Joseph, simply because they were surrounded by the wrong people. In a world full of relationships, cutting yourself off completely is not the solution. Saying “I don’t need anyone” may sound bold, but truthfully, it’s a disadvantage. We do need people whether we admit it or not. If you truly didn’t, you could survive in a zoo…but you wouldn’t last a day. You’d actually start calling or texting people before the end of the day. Friendship is of God. Did you know that God Himself has friends? Abraham was called a friend of God. Even me 😂 I’m actually serious.

We need friends for companionship, plain and simple. God designed us to do life with people. We need likeminded, equally yoked individuals who can challenge us, teach us, laugh with us, watch movies together, pick out outfits, reflect on the past, dream about the future, and most importantly, pray and dive into the Word with us. There’s so much joy and growth that can happen in genuine friendships.

The Bible says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). That means there’s an energy, a posture, a vibe you carry that either attracts or repels people. Some people wonder why they’re always alone but if you’re cold, rude, and walking around with a constant poker face, what kind of atmosphere are you creating?Friendship isn’t just about wanting too many people around it’s also about being someone others want to be around. So before you say, “no one wants to be my friend,” ask yourself, “am I showing myself friendly?”

Some people are naturally friendly, and that’s beautiful but the danger lies in befriending everyone. That right there is a very serious issue. Not everyone is meant to be in your inner circle. Even God, who is love Himself, didn’t call everyone His friend. He specifically called Abraham His friend yet there were thousands of people alive at the time. Why? Because true friendship has parameters. Boundaries. Standards.

If we are not equally yoked, bye! Forget Shem! Friendship shouldn’t be based on vibes alone. You’ve got to know yourself first before you can choose good friends. If you don’t know who you are or what you stand for, you’ll end up attaching yourself to people who have no business being in your life.Be careful of making friends based on faces. “Oh, she’s so cute, I just love her vibe my new bestie!” Or, “He’s my male bestie,” but that male bestie is actually scouting you like prey and doesn’t even know Jesus. You’ll keep ending up in friendship heartbreaks because you didn’t ask God to choose your circle for you.

The whole street cannot be your friend, eh! You will cry. Ask God to help you meet the ones who truly fit those who align with your life’s purpose and vice versa. You don’t need a hundred friends. You just need a few good and GODLY ones. Yes, they may be good to you, but are they godly? Do they live by the Word or by the world? By whose standards do they move, Jesus or trending influencers? If it’s not Christ-centered, you have to ask yourself: is this connection helping or hindering me?

“Oh, but we’ve been friends for 15 years!” That means nothing if the friendship is unequally yoked. Longevity does not equal alignment. This is serious because your heart is involved. And from the heart flow the issues of life. Many of the choices you’ll make, you’ll first consult with friends. Imagine moving through life with people who secretly resent you, who backstab or mislead you… and you’re busy celebrating them, not knowing they’re carrying knives behind their backs. Btw, sometimes YOU are the bad friend. ☺️

Pray. Ask God to handpick your friends. You need people but you need God-sent people. Friends who build, sharpen, protect, pray with you, and keep you rooted in truth. Choose wisely. There’s so much I wanna say but let’s continue tomorrow. Remember what I told you yesterday, don’t take unnecessary rest or naps, get to work!

Sharp! 🩷

I will obviously post my mom today 😂