I forgive you

I know these words aren’t easy to say. For many of us, simply reaching the point where we can say “I forgive you” is a struggle. And the reason is understandable the weight of what we’ve endured because of others can feel unbearable. Our experiences are not the same, our responses differ, and our hearts process pain in unique ways. But if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s this: forgiveness is not easy but it’s also not optional.

Someone is angry and bitter because they were raped. A man is broken because his wife betrayed him. A woman carries deep resentment because her husband abused her. Children cannot bring themselves to forgive their parents and parents, in turn, struggle to forgive their children.

Unforgiveness has crept into the workplace colleagues turned against each other. Among siblings, grudges grow silently over the years. In friendships, it disguises itself hidden behind smiles and small talk, but waiting patiently for a day of expression . Even among brethren in the church , who pray the Lord’s Prayer, asking, “Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us,” there remains a list at least five names they’ve never truly released in that very department. And perhaps the heaviest of all is the unforgiveness we carry against ourselves.

Sometimes, we do receive apologies. People kneel, they cry, and they express deep sorrow for what they’ve done. And yet, some say the apology isn’t sincere. Others respond with anger, turning the moment into another argument, another war. It makes me wonder why Jesus emphasised the number of times we are to forgive. Perhaps He knew that in this life, offences would come not just once, but over and over again. And maybe that’s exactly why forgiveness, too, must come over and over again.

Today, I want to ask you, have you forgiven yourself?

Have you forgiven yourself for misjudging that guy, for pouring your heart and resources into someone who made you feel like a fool? What about that sin that still lingers in your mind, always before you?

Have you forgiven yourself for the moment you dropped your guard for a few minutes of pleasure that came at the cost of your consecration? Have you forgiven yourself for the things you didn’t do, the words you should have spoken, the decisions you delayed, the red flags and exit doors you ignored?

Forgive yourself for not walking away sooner. For taking a path that ended in pain, even in trauma like rape. For staying silent when you needed to speak. For the years that feel wasted. You need to forgive yourself. And you need to do it now. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Now.For some, forgiving others feels impossible because you’ve never started with yourself.

You’re still beating yourself up over a past that Jesus already washed clean with His blood. You can’t forgive yourself for not hugging your parent more before they passed. Maybe you told a lie. Maybe it’s the baby daddy. Maybe you made a decision that changed your life for the worse. But the question is: until when?

How long will you carry that burden?How long will your shoulders bear what grace already came to lift? It’s time to give rest to those tired shoulders. Look in the mirror. Call yourself by name. And say:

“[Your Name], I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. I forgive you seventy times seven times. I forgive you because God has already forgiven you. I forgive you because you deserve to spread your wings and fly. I forgive you because you can only soar high when you’re carrying light.”

And I hope it’s not just words. I hope you finally allow yourself to come out of that cage. ❤️