yielded

Hi I am Gugulethu and this is my story.

1. Can you share the story of how you found out you were pregnant and how you felt at that moment?
   I found out I was pregnant on a choir tour in San Diego, I remember I was supposed to get my period on the day we arrived but they never came ; right then I knew l messed up lol. That moment for me was overwhelming, my emotions were all over the place . I just can’t explain how I felt at that time.
2. How did your family and friends react when you told them about your pregnancy?
   My family’s reaction was very calm. It’s something i never expected especially from my mom because I mean she’s a mom. I was shocked because she was very supportive together with my sister and grandmother. My friends were not judgmental . They were there for me.
3. What has been the most challenging part of becoming a mom at a young age? Well since I am still pregnant I would say staying at home and doing absolutely nothing is very much stressful and challenging.
4. Did you experience any judgment or stigma from others because of your situation? How did you deal with it? Thankfully i haven’t experienced any judgments from anyone.
5. What kind of support system do you have in place now (e.g., family, church, friends)? I have the most heart warming support from my family and friends.
6. Has this new journey affected your relationship with God? No, and i am grateful for that.
7. What are your hopes and dreams for the future, both for yourself and your child?
   I’d love to continue with my education and be able to do what’s best for me and my baby. My hope is for my child to grow up and make better decisions.
8. What advice would you give to other teenage moms who are struggling with their faith? Honestly there’s no greater love than God’s love. Prayer is the way!! Also surround yourself with people who believe and pray.
9. Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently? Yes. I should’ve prevented all this from happening.
10. How do you see God’s hand in your journey so far? I see God’s hand in my life through the people he’s brought into my journey like my family, friends, and partner. I’ve also experienced unexpected blessings and opportunities that helped me overcome the challenges of being pregnant at a young age… Even in difficult times and days I’ve felt unexplainable peace and comfort that I believe it’s God’s presence in my life..
11. Is there anything else you would like to share about your experience as a Christian teenage mom? I don’t have much more to share just gratitude.
12. What scripture or prayer has been particularly meaningful to you during this time? The book of 1samuel  17v32-50 the story of David.Trusting God with everything you’re facing and having to experience the outcome of your trust in Him. It carries me so much.

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Editor’s note

What a beautiful month we have had on The Yielded Center. The way people showed up to the task really made me see the importance of having people around you who believe in your dream. There are the “Here comes the dreamer people,” and there’s “I know a dreamer who can interpret this,” people. I am so grateful to each and every lady who shared their story on this platform. We added more countries to our statistics. The number of readers we had is mindblowing!!!!! Thank you for saying yes . Thank you for allowing yourselves to change lives through your stories. This was life changing.

If you have a chance to make an impact even if it’s for a second, DO IT! Don’t hesitate. Don’t count the stars. Someone could be waiting for you to speak , for them to even find their own voice. I honour you ladies. Yielded Family, this concludes our month of Yielded Women stories and interviews. Thank you for your love, support and prayers. What’s good? You can always come back here to be encouraged. I love you always. ❤️

Hey family. My apologies for posting so so late. I am really sorry. (Yesterday we did the first part of the resilient woman , today we are onto part two. Our last post of the Yielded Women August Edition will be published tomorrow morning!

Cont … Life after my father passed away was different as in many households where the one or both parents pass away. My father was the breadwinner. The day to day obviously changes because there’s a role that was consistently played by someone and suddenly there’s a gap. We started struggling, my youngest brother had no money to write his Olevels. My mother got a job as a house helper and I got into teaching first the in rural areas and then l moved back to the city.

Tragedy struck again. My mother got sick in 1994. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. When she came home with the results, she entered the door, fell on the floor and cried and we all knew ….. Our guess was right. We had gathered at home waiting to hear what it could be. It really scared us because we had experienced the same situation with our father and we knew the end would leave us suffering. She really suffered for 3 years. When she was advised to remove one of her breasts , she also refused because people had been telling her that sometimes it’s pointless because the cancer may even move to the other breast. We went to traditional healers, to prophets to seek help but all was in vain. One of her friends advised us to see a certain man for help and that man used some water from the car battery , we didn’t know that it was acidic, it made her worse. When you’re desperate for life, you can make desperate decisions. You really do.

“Lord, it is so much better to trust in you to save me than to put my confidence in someone else.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118‬:‭8‬ ‭TPT‬‬

My mother was a strong woman. You couldn’t tell that she was sick. My sister Lynn left her husband to nurse mom. I could also , but I was working and others were outside the country. Oneday, my mother complained of sharp pain in her breast and when my sister untied the cloth we would use to cover her breast, clots and clots of blood came out. She lost a lot of blood. When we took her to the hospital, that was it. She passed away on the same date that our grandmother (her mother) died ; The 20th of April 1997. I always pray that God will protect our family from this deadly disease.

“When we live our lives within the shadow of God Most High, our secret hiding place, we will always be shielded from harm. How then could evil prevail against us or disease infect us?”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭TPT‬‬

My first husband also passed away in 1998 but we were in separation when it happened. During that time , nobody took things like therapy serious. We just soldiered on. I was left with 3 girls and after some years, l got remarried and had two girls. I am a mother of 5 girls , 10 grandchildren and one great grandchild . I’m still waiting to have one grandchild from my last born ,Vanessa. (I wrote this by force guys 😭) Let me just encourage a woman, you can still get married even with children. Don’t look down on yourself or remove yourself from the promise of God because you had children. Even if you are old. Your person will love you like that! I was loved even with three girls , got remarried and he loved all of our children the same! They all called him “Daddy” . Unfortunately he also passed away.

In conclusion, I raised my children by faith. Fed them by faith. Groomed them and now they are grownups who can face life’s joys and obstacles knowing they stood on my shoulders. Sometimes l would sit and worry about what we would eat. How they would get to school. I lost so much, went through so much but I also gained so much. When you focus on the bad , life becomes bad. Focus on the good, life becomes good! I see myself as a hard worker. I am one. I now run my own nursery school which caters for children 3 months and above , ECDA and ECDB. Life has not always been easy. I’ve faced a lot of setbacks. As mothers / parents we will not tell you everything for fear that you will be disturbed in your hearts when we wish for you to be joyful. I still wish my husband was alive to see just how far we have come.

From childhood , to adulthood, I see how the times have changed. Young have the privilege to “talk” about things. The young people even understand things better. All in all, one thing we all have in common, we are kept by the grace of God. Had it not been for the Lord who was on our side , we would all not be here today. I am also proud of Vanessa for always trying out new things with her gifts and skills. (Weird for me to type this but ok)

This is my favourite verse to conclude ;

“For if we continue to persist in deliberate sin after we have known and received the truth, there is not another sacrifice for sin to be made for us.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭26‬ ‭TPT‬‬

My favourite story in the bible that has kept me all these years is from 1 King’s 17

Be blessed.
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SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW FOR OUR LAST POST ON THE YIELDED WOMEN’S EDITION. 🌸 oooooh we have something else loading !!

Today, l will be writing on behalf of my biological mother, {interview setting} This will be a two part story because getting her to do this was a struggle. Soooo …. This is her story.

My name is Anne. I was born in the 50’s at Njube Clinic eNjube [Bulawayo, Zimbabwe]. My parents were customarily married. They were rich so l went to rich people schools. My younger brother was born 11 months after me but somehow my mother managed to handle the pressure. The pressure of handling two toddlers can be too much but she did well. The problem was, I had a health problem that required me to see a doctor every month. I had fits. This made it a little hectic for me to settle in one school but I finished my O’levels at Matopo.

My late mother [Rita] was from Zimbabwe and my late father [Miguel] was from Mozambique. His Ndebele was hilarious. He often spoke Sena. We then grew up speaking both languages. I am the oldest sibling of 8 so l was deputy parent. I was extreme. Very strict. Very smart. My young ones who are now grannies and grandpa’s really had enough of me. I was beautiful. I still am but I was one of the most beautiful girls in my town. I took care of myself. Many women don’t . My children know , you must always look clean.

I still like to look very beautiful. I buy beautiful dresses, l wear my glasses almost all the time, I buy pretty earrings and I always smell good. I bath in the morning. You will not meet me looking this and that. Yes! I still value my looks. Young ladies learn this from me. No I don’t like make up , I only put eyeshadows which my daughters say I must stop, they think I’m clumsy with it. I will keep putting it. Ahhh yooo l was the most beautiful girl that time! Guys from different missions,( we used to call them missions meaning boarding schools would say , “We are looking for the most beautiful girl esizwe ngaye.” {That we have been hearing about}

We used to have competitions like teen beat and l wished to join. My father would refuse for me to enter. Though l wished, l knew I’d beat the teens , my parents were strict. My mother was a gardener. She had her garden and she would grow vegetables and spend time cultivating it. She wasn’t employed. She was devoted to church which is something that is very important for a child to see in their mother. Particularly mothers. She never missed church. Modelling that for us helped us because we know we can always count on God. Even as a family, my siblings and l, our children and grandchildren, know this. We are Christians.

My father was Self employed. His customers used to call him the first african panel beater, spray painter and welder . Wayelandwa langabe lungu. (White people came to him for business) I started putting on sunglasses and suits when l was in grade 5. Fast forward, l grew and became a woman. I had my first daughter , Brenda. At this point l had gone to nursing school. My father wanted to me to be a nurse so much so he would tell people I’m already a nurse. He was proud of me. Then my father fell sick …… he had lung cancer (Click to find out more about it)

One of his lungs had to be removed but he refused and when he decided to go ahead, it was already too late. Yayisigcwele I cancer emzimbeni (The cancer had spread to the rest of the body) He suffered greatly, we suffered too. He would cry the whole day especially at night calling us all ; saying he is in pain. He would ask us to pray to God to take him because it was unbearable. Our whole family was traumatised from that ordeal because cancer is a rough disease. During those days it was even worse because all these new medical treatments were not discovered yet. There was no google. Infact diseases like cancer were believed to be caused by witchcraft and anyone who had it would have to go see a traditional healer. Either that or you die, eventually.

Parallel to this, l left nursing. I left because of a friend. I got mixed up in drama while l was away to visit my father and so l got scared to go back and dropped out. My father was so hurt. I was too. Two cannot walk together lest they’re in agreement. Make sure where you want to go, your friends want to go there too and if not? Go alone.
Don’t join groups or befriend anyone who will discourage you from getting to your destination. Go alone . I still think it contributed to my father’s death. It haunted me for years. “What if it made him worse,” The heartbreak of investing in a child and she drops out for a very silly reason. I could’ve gone back. I wasn’t pregnant or in any crime but I didn’t. Maybe deep down , I also didn’t want to. Maybe I did. In the end I didn’t become a nurse. I just came out with unqualified knowledge of medicine . Here’s a picture of me at nursing school.

My father was sick two years after his diagnosis and he eventually died on the 15th of May 1983. I was 25 and had two children Brenda and Amanda.

A whole new life started. See you on part 2. Thank you for reading my story.

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I don’t know if I should write editor’s note but let me just say this. It’s important to ask our parents about their past. About their lives. We have been learning from social media, from mentors, from anyone else BUT our parents. We only learn how to cook and wash but there’s so much more to learn. How to overcome pain. How to get up after making mistakes. As my mother was answering all these questions, l could sense that she was uncomfortable at first because elders don’t just open up but she eventually started responding and giving me information. Maybe all our parents need is a listening ear. Especially African parents who have been silenced by many many things. I wish there was a program for elders to come and tell their story (Sounds like an idea for YTV) l am so glad I had the privilege to hear her story while she’s still in body and spirit because oneday, l will be back here to re read with my children. Thank you for reading guys. See you tomorrow 🩷