Categories
Dealing with self

Takers vs Givers II

How would the world look if people were both takers and givers? If the world found balance between giving and taking… If the takers didn’t take advantage of the givers, and the givers didn’t look down or lord over the takers? Imagine a world where both understood that life flows best in mutual exchange where generosity meets gratitude, and receiving is not greed but humility. If you haven’t read Part 1, please scroll to the bottom of the page for context and understanding. Welcome to The Yielded Blogs. We love ❤️ and laugh here😂

I’ve made an example of my mother before if you still recall. I grew up in a big family. Both my maternal and paternal families are large, full of people with different personalities, different pockets, and different lifestyles. My mother and other people were uniquely standing out, particularly because of kindness. I mentioned the size of my families intentionally because this woman was kind to many people.

I watched her closely. I observed the exchange, and I noticed a strange pattern. The takers would take and disappear. Then, after a while, they would come back, take again, and disappear once more. Sometimes it took a year before they reappeared only to take again. And then I looked at the giver she was perfectly fine with it. I thought that was very sad.

Then I grew up and realised it’s not unusual to see such situations. It happens everywhere even in the church. The servants of God will labour and labour, yet nobody thinks to send a simple thank you card. You could break a bone feeding a family, and your spouse may never cook you a single meal as a gesture of gratitude. People have normalised selfishness to the point where they feel entitled to your service, your money, and your time. Do you know that we treat God the same way?

A generation of takers only remembers one part of the Lord’s Prayer “Give us this day our daily bread.” When the prayers are about money, food, or marriage, the room is full and the voices are loud. But when it’s time to pray about the Kingdom, people suddenly have exams, meetings, and urgent errands. We take from God daily, His mercy, His breath, His provision yet we still argue about tithe, debate offerings, and refuse to give Him our time. The Giver keeps giving. The taker keeps taking. Again, l find it to be very sad.

Oh, but there’s a paradox to it. There are takers who genuinely want to give back once in a while, but the givers refuse to receive. Some people believe they are only meant to give and never to take. I can relate to that. You give and give and give until the day someone tries to return the gesture, no matter how small, and suddenly you feel uncomfortable. You reject the gift, thinking it’s humility, but it’s not. That, too, is imbalance.

Why? Because life was designed to flow both ways. Giving and receiving are both acts that keep relationships alive and healthy. When the flow stops, frustration starts, the kind that comes from always pouring out and never being poured into. God never drops blessings directly from the sky. He delivers them to your doorstep through people. Sometimes, someone just wants to love you, appreciate you, or bless you in a small way. Receive it. It’s ironic, the same generosity that blesses others can, when closed off to receiving, turn into quiet pride, exhaustion, or loneliness. True humility isn’t just in giving it’s also in being willing to receive with grace. Because when you receive, you give someone else the joy of giving. You turn a taker into a giver.

Now, in practical terms, how many people have you been a blessing to this year? In your friendships? Your family? Your church? Your community? How many people can truly say you became a blessing to them? Maybe to go a step further, what did you do. Think about it. Really think about it.

And how many people blessed you? You might be tempted to say nobody, but that’s not true. Maybe it was someone who spoke a word of encouragement when they could’ve let you cry alone. Maybe it was your parents, your friend, or even a stranger. What I want you to do is to learn the flow of relationships , giving and receiving that creates a healthy environment for love to thrive.

It’s almost Christmas, prepare a gift for someone. I always encourage those in MPG: prepare a gift for your parents, no matter how small. Send that thank you message. Tell God thank you! And if there’s a need in your church maybe there are no brooms, no flowers, or something simple that’s missing , buy it. Remember, we are learning to give and take, take and give. That’s how the cycle of blessing stays alive.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Luke 6:38 NIV



Categories
The Yielded Believer

Takers vs givers

Gooooodmorning! I love you guys, I hope you know that. Happy new week! Buy my books. Join MPG. Study. Read the Word. Pray. Fast. Show up for your business. Brand and rebrand. Write the book. There are so many accredited free courses online, so study something. Think of new ideas. Meditate. Above all, this week requires that you show up fully for God and for yourself. Do your best, okay? Ok cool. Let’s go!

We live in a world where people give and take. Since the beginning, it has always been a cycle of giving and receiving. God gives, we take; we give, and God takes. That’s the rhythm of life. This same pattern flows into how we live with one another. God gave us His Son, and in return, we give Him glory , do you understand where I’m coming from? It’s a that exchange , that’ flow, that sustains everything. As people, we are called to follow that same pattern not necessarily by dying for each other, of course, but by living in alignment with this art of giving and receiving. It’s what keeps the world running.

Let me ask you a question , are you a giver or a taker? Or are you both? The answer should be, I am both. If you answered “giver,” understand this: nobody should always be the one giving while nothing is ever reciprocated. That kind of imbalance breeds bitterness, anger, and resentment. It drains the giver until there’s nothing left to pour. Even God, who gives abundantly, requires that we give something too. I’ve already mentioned giving Him glory, but there’s so much more. Offer your body as a living sacrifice. Give your offerings. Pay your tithes. Offer prayers. All these are forms of giving but remember, it’s not meant to be one-way.

Anything that operates only one way is bound to create frustration ANd it eventually destroys the giver. Think about it: if the ground is meant to give you fruit, you must first give it the seed and the rain. Without that, you could wait twelve months and still see no harvest. Fruits are never 100% the work of the soil, no matter how fertile it is. There’s always a human who sows the seed and a God who sends the rain.

You see, if only one gives, the cycle is incomplete. People often say, “I’m a giver,” but many of those same people are the most frustrated because they fail to understand that givers are also meant to receive, just as takers are meant to give. It’s as simple, and as complex, as that.

Someone may have said, “I am a taker.” Takers are often the selfish ones, the greedy ones. And the tricky part? They usually don’t see it. They convince themselves it’s okay, but it’s not. If that sounds like you, I want you to know, it’s not okay.

If you’re unsure which one you are, don’t worry. Tomorrow, I’ll share a list that can help you identify whether you’re more of a giver or a taker. Why is it important to have these kinds of conversations? Because we lose valuable people when we don’t understand the art of cultivating and nurturing relationships.

Relationships don’t just “work out” on their own they are made to work out. The people involved have to put in the effort. It’s not about wishing or fantasizing; it’s about doing the work. Whether it’s family, a couple, friends, or colleagues, relationships must be a two-way, reciprocal process if they are to become strong and healthy.

When we keep losing relationships, we must stop throwing tantrums and take a moment to reflect what exactly was the flow of that relationship? The flow is important. The flooring is important. It’s what keeps a relationship steady or makes it slippery. I want you to understand that you are responsible for how each relationship in your life turns out. Giving and taking. Taking and giving. That’s the rhythm that sustains connection.

Shall we meet tomorrow? This was just an introduction, lol.

Oh here’s a Scripture:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:3–4 (NIV)


Categories
The Overcoming Believer

Holding on in difficult times [2]

I’m late 🙈 I AM SORRY but since we all love each other here, we forgive each other, don’t we? 😅 LOL! (Here on my knees l ask for forgiveness) Now, have you guys heard about WPW Johannesburg? Ehhhh! It’s happening this Saturday and you do not want to miss it. Click the link below for all the details, I really hope to see you there!

Click here

Alright, now let’s get into today’s blog.

We often say things like “hold on,” “keep pushing,” or “keep going” as if those things are easy to do. But in reality, they can be incredibly hard especially in seasons where it feels like God is silent or when everything around us seems to be falling apart. Some people genuinely don’t know what to do during those times. And while encouragement is helpful, it’s fair to ask: what are the practical ways we can actually hold on? Are there steps that truly work? Or is it just trial and error? The truth is, not everything works for everyone it’s rarely a one-size-fits-all kind of journey.

The last thing anyone wants is to spend time and energy on things that don’t lead to real peace, healing, or hope. Things that don’t work. Girls would definitely understand this betterlike when you try a new face or hair product that promised visible results in two weeks. You wait, you hope, and after two weeks… nothing. So you add a “grace period” week, thinking maybe … But still, nothing has changed! Like, how dare you waste my time and my money? I still have pimples. My hairline is still receding. Or maybe it’s like a talking stage with someone you’re investing your energy, and suddenly it hits you: why are you wasting my time? Once there’s a clear yes or no, save yourself time. Actually, go and buy A Thing Called Time .

What does holding on really look like when your grip is weak and your faith feels fragile? Is sleeping it through okay? Can you pour yourself some Johnie Walker and just drink up? Or do you climb a mountain and wait on God from there? What exactly can be done when life feels heavy and confusing? Maybe you’re thinking, should I see a counsellor? (By the way, if you need counselling, book with me today 😉). There are so many lists, different things people claim can help us stay afloat, whether they’re proven or not. Social media is overflowing with advice and “coping hacks.” Some even say, just scroll through your phone and watch reels, it’ll make you feel better. But does it really help? Is it actually effective?

The first proven method of holding on is prayer. Scripture says, “Man ought always to pray and not to faint” (Luke 18:1). Prayer isn’t just a last resort , it’s a lifeline. Look at David in the Psalms whether he was rejoicing or completely undone, he kept praying. He encouraged himself in the Lord, he worshipped, he cried out, he poured out his heart but he never disconnected from God. Even when death felt near and enemies were closing in, he stayed plugged into the One who sustains.

But today, many people disconnect from God in hard times and instead, they connect to weed, distractions, or a few friends who honestly don’t know how to help either. David is a good example because his prayers are raw, emotional, relatable, he never stopped seeking God. And then there’s Jesus. Just before facing the most brutal death imaginable, He prayed. He was in deep anguish, but He still prayed. Prayer is a proven strategy. It’s not outdated, it’s not religious performance , it’s honestly another way of survival. You stay afloat by praying. People of God, this is not optional. It’s important.

David sang. Maybe to make this a bit more relatable how many of us have had our hearts broken at some point in life? Don’t even act like you’ve never. I know you! Say it with me, all of us. Now in those moments, how many of us turned to music? I definitely did. Some were deep in those sad songs. Some of you listened to gospel, bless your soul. Even after God clearly told you, “This is not your spouse,” you kept pushing… and when it finally fell apart, your way out was music. Some of you went the Westlife route, that’s me. Others? You turned to Maskandi or Amapiano. And if you chose those heavy instruments for comfort… your heartbreak was on levels. A serious one!

So David had a strategy, he sang. The man knew how to pour out his soul in worship. Scripture tells us to “sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody in your hearts to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19). There’s power in singing. There’s healing in worship. So yes burst out in song. Find a Dunsin Oyekan track, connect your AirPods, and worship. You’ll feel lighter. You’ll feel better. And yes, you can do it daily. Don’t wait for Sunday, sing your way through the valley.

Shall I share the last one for today before we continue tomorrow? Dancing. We’re in the middle of the Hallelujah Challenge, and I can’t even imagine how many people this has lifted. People who were drowning in depression got up and danced. You’re not depressed you just haven’t danced for Jesus yet! I know it sounds like a paradox, because how can you tell someone to dance when they’re going through a difficult time? We usually think dancing is for parties or happy moments, right? Wrong. We dance always. We praise always.

You may not feel like dancing, but play some music, start moving, and watch how your joy begins to rise again. It’s not about whether you can breakdance or two-step it’s about reconnecting with joy through praise. Dancing is not just movement; it’s a declaration that God is still good, even here, even now. When l dance at HC? Eh!!! You will think maybe l will break my bones. Kai! I can dance shame l don’t care what you think 😂

I have more strategies to share with you, but for today, let’s focus on these ones. You know I love and celebrate you greatly! 💛 See you tomorrow!!

Categories
The Overcoming Believer

Holding on in difficult times

My people, I want to say a big thank you for all the beautiful birthday messages you sent. I received such lovely words some of you even called and I’m truly grateful. Thank you for seeing me, for loving me, and for showing me such kindness.

I’m much aware that finding a godly and genuine community isn’t easy. I’ve met people who have no real friends not because they don’t want to, but because they’ve struggled to find authentic connections. So I don’t take this community for granted. I’m thankful for every one of you. May my God bless you richly. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.

This morning, I woke up to a message from one of my dads (yep I’m a daddy’s girl! And yes, God has blessed me with incredible father figures who wouldn’t hesitate to handle anyone trying to hurt me 😅).He asked, “What about the topic of holding on through difficult times and not losing yourself, can you write something on that?” It’s a powerful question because it’s something we can all relate to. We’ve all faced difficult seasons. In some of them, we held on. We stayed grounded. We didn’t let the pain break us. But in others, we gave into fear, to anxiety, to pressure. And that’s real life.

I’ve always been bubbly I laugh a lot and love joking around but what many didn’t see was that sometimes, right in the middle of those laughs, I was breaking down. There were moments I was holding back tears while ministering because my assignment, in that moment, mattered more than my pain.

I remember crying, then picking up a call from someone needing advice, and changing my voice to sound cheerful just so their day could be lighter, even while mine felt heavy. So many times, I dressed well, showed up, and smiled, all while whispering, “God, please just help me get through this day. Don’t let me fall apart l can feel the sting in my heart.” And I know I’m not the only one; you’ve likely been there too. We’ve all had silent battles hidden behind strong faces but somehow, grace carried us.

The truth is, holding on doesn’t always look heroic. Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed when everything in you wants to disappear. Sometimes it’s whispering a prayer when you don’t even have the strength to believe it’ll be answered. But that, too, is strength. That, too, is faith. Sometimes it’s opening up to someone, “Hey, I’m not feeling too good today. Please pray for me.” Or being in your own space, catching a breath or two, or five or twenty.

How do you hold on and not lose yourself? Why should I keep praying when I’ve asked for something for a whole year and seen no results? Honestly, I laughed while typing that because that’s so me. The days when the pressure to make money gets heavier, it’s easy to see why so many start to compromise their faith. “God is taking too long, let me get five boyfriends,” or “I’m tired of waiting, let me go get some muti.” Some say, “Though You slay me, Lord, even with tears in my eyes, I still love You.” That takes another level of strength , the kind that keeps you rooted in God, keeps your integrity intact, and helps you remain you in a world that constantly invites you to trade your identity for relief.

The world says, “You’re going through a lot, it’s okay to drink, smoke, take something, sleep with someone just escape the pain.” But that kind of escape often costs more than it gives. In those moments, be careful because the price of compromise is usually your peace, your purpose, and parts of yourself you may never get back. Holding on might be hard, but losing yourself is harder to recover from.

Why should we hold on? What exactly are we holding on for? These may sound like simple or even petty questions, but failing to answer them has led many into drug abuse, anxiety, and even suicide. As a man, when you feel the pressure to provide for yourself and your family but nothing is working out it’s hard. So again, why hold on? Because in holding on, you give God room to perform. As a young woman waiting on God for a godly kingdom spouse why hold on? Because in the waiting, you create space for God to move. Pain or not, we remain Christians. Whether you marry today or next year, whether the job comes now or later, your faith must remain unshaken.

This journey is not conditional. We were not saved to be situational believers. “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back!” you sang and danced to that. But there’s a reality in those lyrics. A time comes when that declaration is tested when you must prove that it wasn’t just a catchy song, but a life you’re committed to living. Don’t you know? Jesus held on too. He could have walked away, but for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross. So hold on. We’ll continue tomorrow with some practical ways to hold on without losing yourself. But before I go, I leave you with this scripture: 

“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬-‭16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The Holy Bible

To gift me, click here .. see you tomorrow. Keep holding on ❤️👊🏾


Categories
The Overcoming Believer

Reflection Friday 🪞

Happy Friday my people! 👊🏾❤️

I’m almost a year older, yep tomorrow it’s my birthday 🎈 and I just want to share a little bit about my year so far. Lol , what a hard year it’s been. It was so hard that I just laugh bc wow! I started off so optimistic and full of faith. But by February, I realized something: I thought I had faith. I thought I had patience… until life started happening.

Believe me, my three hardest years have been 2014 (when my dad passed), 2021 (when I faced heavy attacks), and 2025. This year, I saw the real meaning of warfare. But guess what? God pulled me out every single time. And through it all, I just kept on going. God’s sustaining grace kept me from drowning and from getting burnt by the fire.

I had some great memories too. My friends and I went wedding dress fitting and boy oh boy we looked like heaven! Too neat! ✨ I attended some of the best conferences in the world at HOT, met new people, and even tried new foods. Oh, I ate egusi yesterday and my next stop is Korean food! 😄 This year, I also wrote and self-published two books (which I HOPE you already have copies of!). My career picked up; I had some clients and learned so much not just from studying, but through experience. It’s true what they say: the more we do something, the more we learn.

Why am I sharing all this with you? To remind you that we all have ups and downs in a year. Not everything is bad, and not everything is good but through it all, we’re still here. We still have purpose in our hearts, and we keep moving forward. This year, God taught me that He is my only source. He gently shifted my eyes away from people, from anything or anyone I had placed my trust in even myself and helped me focus completely on Jesus. And that has strengthened my faith in ways I can’t even explain.

So, don’t be discouraged where you are. Don’t give up. Don’t faint. Don’t lose hope. And whatever you do, don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Remember, you’re uniquely you! Today as you reflect in the mirror, l want you keep in your mind, you have come too far to give up now. Don’t waste your pain. Don’t waste your scars that came from resilience in battle. Don’t give up on God.

I’m reminded of Esther an orphan who probably never thought she’d even meet the king, let alone marry him. She likely never dreamt that far. You know how there are dreams we have because we know they’re within reach… and then there are those dreams we don’t even dare to imagine? Yep those ones. Esther was just living her life, unaware of the divine setup unfolding behind the scenes. Vashti did her drama, the kingdom was shifting and Esther had no idea that her name was next in line for destiny.

That’s how God works sometimes. You have no idea what’s about to happen for you, but heaven is already rearranging things in your favor. One day, you’re just a “nobody,” and the next you wake up in the palace as the Queen. “Argh, but not me. I don’t even know any Mordecai.”

That’s where faith comes in. If we could calculate how the blessing would unfold, then it wouldn’t be God’s blessing. His ways are usually mysterious big, mind-blowing, sudden, and miraculous. It’s never something you’d think of on a normal day. I mean, Joseph went from prison to governor and as a foreigner! How? You can’t explain it, right? That’s exactly how it’s going to be for you.

Believe God. Keep holding on. See you on Monday! ❤️

I love you!

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