I’ve always wondered why some people take pride in being loners. You often hear, “I don’t do friends,” or “I’m okay alone. I’m not a friends person,” as though isolation is something to celebrate. As though doing life alone is a good thing . While everyone has different personalities and social needs, I believe we were never created to do life completely alone. Even in Scripture, God valued relationships, and Abraham was called God’s friend. Imagine, God HAD and HAS friends.
We were designed to live in community, to support and be supported. Why carry everything alone when God can place genuine friends in your life to walk the journey with you? Independence has its place, but healthy friendships are one of God’s beautiful gifts to us. I want us to talk about journeying through life with friends but I had to first talk to those of us who have chosen a life of shutting people out, you need people. You need friends. Any other thing that whispers otherwise is the voice of deception because God wants you to have friends.
I’m not excusing the fact that people are imperfect and by people, I hope you know I mean both you and me. I think we’ve made a mess of relationships by expecting perfection from others when we ourselves are far from perfect. Sometimes our standards become so unrealistic that even the most genuine, loving friends eventually walk away. Along the way, many of us have lost incredible friendships, that could’ve been repaired, but because we didn’t know how to nurture them, we cut each other off.
Are there people with harmful character whom you genuinely needed to let go of? Absolutely. But it’s also worth remembering that no matter how good you think you are, you have flaws too and despite those flaws, some people have still chosen to love you, stay with you, and call you a friend. While on this journey, you will journey with friends. Sometimes God will give you and a friend the same assignment, and other times He will give each of you unique instructions.
One of the mistakes we make is assuming that because we are friends, our journeys must look the same. More often than not, they won’t. God leads people differently, according to His purpose for their lives. This is something we need to talk about.
There have been times when God told me to fast and pray about something, but I never texted my friends and said, “Come let’s , God said we must,” because I understand that some instructions are personal.
There are things on this journey that are unique to you. You could even be on the same flight, yet God tells you to separate at the airport. You could be sitting next to each other on the same bus, but along the way God says one should go east and the other west. That doesn’t mean the friendship is over, that’s not the time to fight and start silly arguments over, it simply means the assignments are different. It’s so simple. You can remain genuine friends while faithfully pursuing different callings.
The mistake we often make is trying to tag-team every prophetic word and every instruction, assuming what God says to one person must automatically apply to the other. Sometimes, it doesn’t and that’s okay. Most times it doesn’t and it’s very okay. The journey may even require that one friend leaves earlier and arrives first while the others follow later. This is another challenge that friendships face when one person steps into their breakthrough before the rest. Those who are still waiting may begin to feel as though they are behind in destiny, but it’s important to remember that friendship does not necessarily mean walking the exact same path at the exact same pace.
Sometimes it simply means God has brought you together because you complement one another well in destiny. Friends are not spouses. Let me say that again for those with jelly in their ears, your friend is not your husband or your wife. Let friends play the role of friends. Sometimes we place expectations on our friends that they were never meant to carry, and in doing so, we push them away. We all need people, someone to help carry our bags, someone to take us to the airport, someone to share our Uber trip details with, someone to rejoice with us and stand beside us. Today, take some time to appreciate your friends.
As friends, we also need to the transformation of the heart. Many disappointments and betrayals have come through friendships, and the stories we see on social media about friends hurting one another are so messssssy. . So perhaps the better question is not, “What kind of friends do I have?” but, “What kind of friend am I?” How easy is it for people to journey with you? Are you always moody, expecting everyone to constantly beg or reassure you? Are you bossy, making your friends feel like they have to tiptoe around you?
Are you the friend who is always asking for help but is rarely available to help others? Are you so guarded that you know everything about everyone else, yet no one truly knows you? Always interested in other people’s journeys while your own life remains a mystery? Secrecy has its place, l totally get it but friendship also requires trust and healthy vulnerability. Are you a good friend to your friends?
The same kindness, loyalty, and grace you expect from others, do you extend it to them? Can they trust you with their weaknesses without fearing gossip? Can they depend on you? Can they call you late at night and ask you to pray with them? And do you pray for them even when they don’t ask? I will tell you for free, you’re probably not the best person to answer the question of what kind of friend you are, your friends are. Yep. That “I’m the very best” is your own version o.
You need people to do life with. Ask God for them. Tell Him you need genuine, godly friends. By God’s grace, I have good friends, and they are an answered prayer. That said, I don’t call everyone my friend. I know many people, but not everyone has access to that close place in my life. Friendship is something I take seriously. Not everyone is your friend. Be careful. Be discerning. But by all means, nurture the relationships God has entrusted to you, and be the kind of friend you hope to find.
My prayer is that you and your friends will journey well together and arrive at your God-given destinations still standing side by side. May your friendships be sustained through seasons of joy, hardship, distance, and change because change will come. Above all, be a friend of God. See you on Thursday ❤️
If you read my blogs but have never met this Wonderful Jesus that I’m always writing about, you’d love to get to know Him, Or you know The Lord but have found yourself drifting far from Him, I would love to talk with you. Please send me an email on yieldedcwcenter@gmail.com or simply comment, and I will reach out to you
