The life of a single mother

A child is the greatest joy in the world, but when you’re on your own and struggling, you forget about all the blessings you have.You’re in such a difficult situation and you’re constantly fighting to survive.

You have to do so much work just to keep your child fed and alive. You don’t have time for joy and gratitude. You’re bitter and always on the edge.As a young mom l find myself not having enough ,enough even to save. Every month/everyday l have to work hard just to earn enough for food and electricity . This is my story.

I found out l was pregnant ,13 weeks far along already.This was the same period where l lost my dad.l felt like my life was coming to an end,”this was not how it was supposed to be”.l asked myself “HOW”.Having to live my truth ,l dreaded feeling those little flutter kicks in my belly,l dreaded every single moment of my pregnancy,hence why l dont even have a single picture of myself with my bump.

I stopped praying & going to church for a long time because l was embarrassed and l felt l wasn’t worthy to stand before God’s presence. l drifted far-far away from God; l even thought He hated me.

I broke the news to my babys’ father.He acknowledged it , promised & swore down that he was going to be with me all the way despite the “distance”.

Mind you l never went for any doctors checkups because l truly didnt want the pregnancy and l didnt care about the stanger in my belly. I was far from home l literally had no one but just my one friend who held me down. God Bless her . Thursday 20 March 2019 l started having contractions , obviously l ran to google lol l thought it was Braxton kicks, nothing serious.

That whole night l couldn’t sleep ,l was in pain, nothing prepared me for such.The only doctor l had was youtube and google. Long story short l gave birth to a bouncing baby girl she was very much healthy, my birth process wasn’t complicated at all, considering the way l was stressed. See God. I had to take care of the hospital bills by myself. Since the little stranger decided to make an entrance l had to buy baby clothes by force 😂. l didn’t know anything about babies l had to learn on the job..

My friend that was there for me during the whole thing, lets call her Buhle. We lived together, that summer she had to travel home &our rent was to expire shortly. I told baby daddy (BD) 3 months prior about it he never did anything about it ,several occasions he would promise stuff and NEVER fulfill them. l was kicked out from the apartment and had to live with a friend again for 6 months.

I got tired of the lies and promises l just had to pick myself up and hustle for me and my child. Funny thing l would find myself back with him again. I felt bad raising my child by myself without a father figure, l thought l had failed her. I started making body scrubs ,serums ,at some point l sold makeup products, nigerian food, clothes , wigs just to make ends meet. lt wasn’t enough to cover rent bills, food, clothes etc and where l am, there aren’t jobs like that. It’s always restaurant jobs where you work looonng hours in exchange for peanuts.

I worked at a club as well as a bottle girl, a host.l found myself entertaining some men outside of my caliber because l wanted to survive. l have been on survival mode since 2018 and lf l am being honest, l am exhausted.

All in all l thank God for strength, l perfected my skills in wigging, hair installation etc, that is how l manage to put food on the table, coupled with other side hustles.

This journey has taught me how to be jacked up& make the best out of any situation. I still rose above the hurt and disappointments . I saw God. l see God and how He constantly upholds me with His righteous hand each day. l still take an intentional decision everyday to be kind to myself& show up fully for me and my baby. I am not where l want to be as yet but im grateful lm not where l was yesterday.

My advice to all women is “Be stingy with your uterus” Don’t put your life on hold for anything. Choose yourself over &over again . Above all else, choose God.

Editor’s note

I know many single mothers and l have never taken time to ask about their journeys. Things can be so difficult for people around us and we have no idea. Contact a single mother and love on them. They may need a hug, encouragement or some help. Remind them that they’re not forsaken. The rejection of man does not mean God feels the same way. Dear Mommies, you’re doing an amazing job. Our God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Your children will be mighty on the land. We love you 🌸🩷 {please read Isaiah 54: 4}